kenny rogers wasn’t foolin’ (and he still isn’t). even though i’m only $234 into my $250 experiment (and six days short of the full month), after the weekend’s foxwoods trip, i’ve decided that it’s time for gambling month to come to an end. not that foxwoods wasn’t amazing, because it was (and always is)- as evidenced by the photographs on my flickr site (i can’t believe i didn’t take more pictures!) of light up lucite statues, fiberglass fish, and abandoned buffet-line polident.
blame it on the recycled air and dried up eyeballs. blame it on the fact that i won $130 immediately from a slot machine ($10 into the night), and then proceeded to blow through my remaining $90 in record time with nothing to show. blame it on the 1.5 hour wait in the buffet line next to a smashmouth cover band. blame it on the fact that i need new running shoes, and that i am tired of spending my money on worthless pieces of paper. whatever it is… after foxwoods, i just sort of snapped. the excitement had officially worn off.
i’m sure for some richy rich high rollers out there, gambling is about the excitement and the power and making your dick feel huge. but for low earning jerks like me, gambling is about hope. hope for a life without debt or money worries. or maybe hope for a mansion or a jet ski or house boy (or perhaps all three). hope for stuff that we might never get, no matter how hard we work.
after allowing myself to get sucked into the vortex of big dreams and fast spending for a month, what i learned is that the odds will always be better if i put my money down on achievable dreams that don’t require too much luck. not that i think i need to aim low, but there is a level of realism that does need to be maintained. medical school- yes! paying off my credit card debt- yes! a full set of diamond teeth- no!
it was definitely fun for a while, and worth doing 100% (but just this once). but next time i get the urge to buy scratch tickets or powerball, i think i’m going to just stuff $3 in my piggy bank and be done with it. my biggest dream right now is to be debt free- and that ain’t gonna happen if i keep flushing my money down the fantasy toilet.
final totals:
money spent on scratch tickets: $55
money won on scratch tickets: $33
money spent on powerball: $4
money won on powerball: $0 (i matched ONE NUMBER total on all 4 games- fuck you easy pick!)
money spent onine gambling: $25
money won online gambling: $0
money spent at bingo: $50
money won playing bingo: $0
money spent at foxwoods: $100
money won at foxwoods: $130 (i squirreled it away in my bra for the rest of the weekend so i wouldn’t lose/spend it.)
total spent: $234
total won: $163
total defecit: -$71
broke 207 
So I looked at your pictures and the one of Fuddruckers made me think of something. Have you ever seen the movie Idiocracy? It’s from the guy who did Office Space and it’s about the world 500 years into the future and it has completely gone to shit. But in the beginning it shows Fuddruckers… then it turns into Ruddfuckers… and eventually Buttfuckers… and they have children’s birthday parties there. Thought maybe you’d appreciate that lol
OMG! i own that movie, and watch it at least 2 or three times a year. it’s what plants crave!! and can i just say that i very nearly entitled that photo “buttfuckers”, but didn’t think anyone would get the reference. clearly, i thought wrong.
I can’t believe how organized you are. I would have lost track of winnings/losings after the first two days. It was a fun and educational read!
thanks! i’m always glad to take one for the team. it wasn’t too hard to keep track. mostly i just didn’t cash in the scratch tickets so i could count them at the end. plus, as it turns out- i tend to remember throwing money away. xo!
I have that movie too! “Carl’s Jr. FUCK YOU! I’M EATING”
i can’t believe that movie bigger at the box office- everyone i know loves it! i can’t even tell you how often i make upgrayedd (two d’s for a double dose of pimpin) jokes. now there’s a movie i’d like them to play outdoors in the summertime. portland events board- are you listening?
I like the part where the woman is trying to get the “super big ass fries” from the machine and it tells her she is an unfit mother. Oh god that move is awesome.
my favorite part is the whole scene with justin long playing dr. lexus. “don’t worry scrote! there are plenty of ‘tards out there living really kick ass lives.”
While you may not have been lucky with gambling, you did win one of my coupon envelopes the other day. Send me your address. I posted it a few days ago. 🙂
woot!! thanks, i’m so excited!!!