an open letter to zak posen.

2 05 2010

so after a big shopping binge at old navy’s 30% off everything sale (don’t ask), i took a mosey across the street to target to see if there was anything amazing hidden in the sale racks. i was hoping to find this amazing mustard colored halter dress by jean paul gaultier in a size that i could squish my ultrachunk into, but sadly was confronted only with a rackful of 1s, 3s, & 5s. i don’t think my skeleton is a size 5. maybe if i removed some ribs…

disappointment aside, i was also excited to check out the new zak posen stuff that arrived in stores last week.  can you say shock and awe? awe at a few of the really glorious pieces that i found dangling from the racks (golden cocktail dress!), and shock at both the sticker prices of these garments (um $74.99!? dude, it’s still TARGET), and shock at some of the most truly truly awful things i have ever seen anywhere ever. case and point, the shirt in the above picture. in case the design flaws are too subtle for your untrained eyes, i have taken the liberty of pointing out the most egregious of the offenses:

1. vomitesque black & pink tie dye background. (tie dye, really?)

2. gently askew bedazzled zac! logo. (additional points off for worst possible font choice)

3. contrast baseball sleeves circa 1993.

it’s like he designed a few nice looking pieces in his normal style, and then thought “hey, what kinds of tacky-ass low-classwear will appeal to target shoppers?” do you really think so little of us mr. posen? that maybe if you just slap a glitter logo on a baby tee, we’ll eat it right the hell up? well, let me say for the record that just because i can’t afford to buy your regular line (and other similarly priced high end fuckery), does not mean that i’m a style-less, classless tramp, sucking down a big gulp and yammering about “gettin my hair did” (sorry britney, i know you probably love this shirt). in short, being cheap doesn’t make me cheap. and frankly, i find the whole situation a little insulting.

mr. posen, i’ll be waiting for your apology.



4 responses

3 05 2010

It kinda looks like the ‘Z’ is supposed to be centered, and then someone decided to add the “ac” as an afterthought. Also for a second there I thought Target had teamed up that shirt with some pink zebra leggings as a suggested outfit.

If it weren’t for the sign in the back I would think this was a tacky Zac Efron line for the girls department… at Walmart.

3 05 2010

ha! your zac eforn comment made me laugh out loud inappropriately at work. hot mess doesn’t even begin to describe what’s going on with this shirt. i mean NATALIE PORTMAN is his muse. does he really see natalie mincing around in such flagrant crapitude? i think not! on a related note, te casan (the company that made her vegan footwear) went under. at least now we can stop feeling bad about not being able to afford her $500 faux leather stilettos. apparently, nobody else could either.

3 05 2010

Bright side? One could probably pass it off as 80s at Bubba’s. That is, if one could dare to be seen in such a shirt. (MY EYES!)

5 05 2010

you think? i feel like the door guys would take one look at that hot mess and send you home to change. and also perhaps to think about what you’d done. we must band together as a community and boycott this dirty dirty business. solidarity!

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