if you like me, check this box.

10 05 2012

so back in december when i became all single and jazz, i had a little bit of a dating related meltdown. perhaps you remember it? no?

reader’s digest version: 10 years off the market and i found myself completely  clueless about virtually everything dating related or if i would even be attractive to anyone at 34, when the last time i was open for business i was a nubile 24 year old with a temp job and questionable decision making skills.

but at the time, my breakup wounds were fresh, and the actual dating conundrum could wait. i avoided thinking about it. i shopped my way through the move into the bachelor hole. i focused my attentions on the happiness and well being of my true life partner, kazuki.

but here we are 5 months later, and things are all kinds of unexpectedly different (except for kazuki being my soul mate. that’s forever).

i’ll start by telling you a little story about something that happened a few weeks ago:

as a single dog parent, i take a lot of walks. at least 3 a day, every day, regardless of the weather. and as i have perhaps mentioned on an occasion or 12, my dog is a LOOKER.  this means that i get stopped on the street. a lot.

“what kind of dog is that?”

“your dog looks like a fox.”

“is that one of those shima emus?”

and usually, it’s grade school children or elderly men.  but every now and again, it’s actually a cute boy (i’m talking to you adorable neighborhood dude with the golden doodle).

so a few weeks ago, i ran into my cute next door neighbor on his way to work. he asked me the standard dog questions and introduced himself. it was very much a non-event.

a couple of weeks later, on my night time walk, i ran into him again. this time, we chatted for a bit. he sort of interviewed me in a way that seemed suspicious.

“what do you do for fun?”

“what kind of books do you like?”

“how long have you lived in portland?”

and then. there it was.

“are you single?”

it probably would have been inappropriate, but i sort of wanted to do a victory lap around the block waving my arms like a muppet and screaming “HOLY SHIT I’M DATABLE!”. sure, his approach was a little aggressive for my taste, and i wasn’t sure we had much in common, but he was verifiably not gross, and thought i was cute even in my sweatpants with dirty hair.

but back to my response to friendly stranger’s question of “are you single?”

my answer: “single-ish.”

at which point i would go on to babble about how he was very cute and seemed nice, but that i was seeing someone at the moment, and i wanted to see where it went. i think i actually used the phrase “i’m a one-at-a-time kind of girl”.

he told me to friend him on facebook, but defeated, was swiftly on his way.

i didn’t lie to friendly stranger.

i’m usually pretty quiet about the details of my relationships, but since i promised you all a dating story, i figure i’ll give you at least a little. the “sorta someone” is an old boyfriend from college who moved away after we broke up, and is back in town after a few years on the other coast. we reconnected when he followed me on twitter (classy). it was extremely unintentional, but there was still a thing. also, he’s a dog owning vegan who wants to get his MFA in writing (poetry on his side). so we randomly developed some things in common over the last 10 years since we’ve been in contact. it’s pretty sweet. but also, pretty new. and that’s probably the last i’ll say about it unless anything really monumental happens.

although i do feel a little guilty about not being able to go on any bad internet dates like i promised.

i don’t feel at all guilty about turning down friendly stranger. i did actually friend him on facebook, and literally 2 days after he asked me out (and one day after he sent me some completely shameless and quasi inappropriate shirtless pics), he was declaring his love for his new girlfriend. and i mean like straight up using the L-word, changing his timelines photo to her face, and using lots and lots and lots of these: ❤ ❤ ❤ <3. far too many for a grown man as far as i am concerned.

dodged that bullet. also, vegan dog guy is totally cuter and has better taste in books.



2 responses

14 05 2012

men that use ❤ on facebook are worse than men that text emoticons. BARF.

8 06 2012

interesting post script: he asked me to go on a walk with him a few weeks ago (which i foolishly did), and tried to hit on me again (turned down AGAIN). he told me all this stuff about how he was so unhappy with his girlfriend, but when he realized that i wasn’t interested, he went right back to posting his <3s on facebook. i would NEVER date someone who did that. how could i ever trust him?

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