IKEA Bus 8 is ON.

Is anyone still out there? I know this blog is less Broke207 and more just broken down right now, but I lost my mind for a minute and scheduled another IKEA bus. If you want to come, tickets go on sale at noon today.

There are no early birds this year because Eventbrite changed their payment structure and I’m only allowed one ticket type unless I pay them more money. Sorry I’m cheap!

I know that this year’s image is a little creepy, but there are just so few movie franchises with 8 installments.

Anyway… Hit me up with questions if you got ’em, and I hope to see you on the bus!

IKEA BUS 7- Klippan vs. Predator

How much do I really need to say about this? I think it’s clear that you need to ride the IKEA Bus this year, or Predator will win. Do you want the earth to be overrun with Predators? I’m pretty sure you don’t.

So, starting TOMORROW, 4/1, at NOON, head on over to the Eventbrite page and buy yourself some tickets to this year’s bus.

I threaten every year to pull the plug on IKEA Bus because it’s time consuming and generates no profit. However, I love you guys so much and I can’t bear to leave you hangin’ when I know you all need  to reupholster everything in your home with trippy mushroom fabric. I am also recently cohabiting with a very nice boy who owns a lot of books, so we have some serious storage needs right now (plus, if you ride the bus, you’ll get to meet him). Consider this year is a 50/50 selfish/not-selfish split. Either way, we’re going, it’s happening, and you should get all up in it (because last year actually sold out pretty fast). Your meatballs are waiting.

BUY TICKETS HERE
(starting at noon, on 4/1/17- no foolin)

IKEA BUS 6- The Undiscovered KLÄNGLILJA

Yeah, it’s a Star Trek VI joke.

Ok, so I pay like $32 a year for my domain name and all it’s good for is this. Will I ever write anything else? Maybe. Does it even matter? NO! Because…

IKEA BUS 6 IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!

I know I’ve been talking about it casually for weeks, and that I keep promising that I’ll put the ticket site up “tomorrow.” I know that I’m a damn dirty liar. I’m sorry, being a responsible adult is not my strong suit. But, I’ve finally pulled it together this weekend and got that ticket site up. It’s GO TIME:

ikeabus6.eventbrite.com

Nothing is new and different, because the original formula just works so damn well. Even the prices ($35 for early birds, and $40 for everyone else) are still the same. Don’t make me spell it all out here, just get to the ticket site and do your thing. Or, hit that envelope up in the right hand corner and ask me all about it.

Please come. I don’t get out much anymore.

 

IKEA BUS 5 Anyone?

Yeah, It’s been such a long time since I updated this site (I know, I’m the worst), that I totally forgot to post about the IKEA Bus! Well, it’s happening again, and there are still tickets available.

GET THEM HERE:

(also, all the useful information you could ever want about riding the bus.

ikeabus5.eventbrite.com

Or, click on the fancy IKEA graphic to the right or whatever.

Come with us and eat many of these $.50 hot dogs! Buy a patio pear! Hell, buy 100. They’ll all fit on the truck!

Anyway, I’m pretty lazy right now, so hit me up if you need more info. This could very well be the last IKEA Bus ever, so you’re probably going to want to be on it.

Live Free or IKEA Hard (and some other boring shit about my life).

Wow, it’s super sad that the last time I updated this blog was a year ago when the last IKEA bus was ready to fly… I was writing for mainetoday.com for a while, and then my life just kind of rolled out of my hands like a rogue ball of yarn and I spent the last year doing “other things.” I painted a house, I wrote some short plays, I painted some terrible self portraits, and I made a lot of pies. Oh, and I watched every single episode of House M.D. Two times. In my bed.  It was a weird year.

And, here I am. I want to start writing again. But, I also want to start jogging again, and obviously that’s gone really well [so fat].

I made a new blog header, and found some less lousy social media icons… I don’t know if I like them, but whatever. Point being, I’m considering a comeback. If one can consider going from single digit to double digit page views a comeback. Or if anyone even notices when a marginally successful blogger rises from the grave…

But, enough of my ellipses and the narcissistic pontifications.

What can I do for you?

I may not have been writing, or doing other blog stuff, but I am still rockin’ the IKEA Bus if you’re interested. Shit is going down on May 31st, and you can buy tickets right here. You can even get out of town delivery if you’re so inclined (and are willing to pay a small fee). You should come. There will be snacks.

Also, if you don’t need any particle board furniture, maybe you want new summer clothes? SwapMaine is up to its old tricks again with our spring swap coming right at your face on May 17th. Come fill up yo sack with all the skinny pants that I have to discard because they’re making me feel bad.

 

 

NO FOOLIN. (it’s IKEAbus time!)

It’s springtime bitches, and you know what that means… IKEA BUS! Yes, we’re (and by we I mean me) doing it again, and no April Foolin, tickets are on sale today. I’m doing a limited amount of $30 early bird tickets, so if you’re definitely in, you might want to get on that soon. (BE AN EARLY BIRD RIGHT NOW)

For those of you who don’t know about the many mystical properties of the IKEA Bus, here is a brief lowdown:

For less than a price of a bus ticket to Boston, you get a ride to a place that the Greyhound won’t take you, donuts & coffee, a bunch of local snacks, and trashy in-flight movies. Oh, and did I mention the liberal BYOB policy?

Did I also mention that we have an awesome moving company who will bring all your giant boxes back to Portland for you and deliver them to your car or house? (Deliveries to towns other than Portland are currently in negotiation.)

p.s. IKEA is a amazing. Jonathan Coulton will tell you all about it.

If you want all the actual factual details about the logistics of the trip, you can find it all on the ticketing site. But really, you don’t need to know those details.  All you need to know is that there’s pretty much nothing better than slightly tipsy furniture shopping with a lot of excellent people. Also, meatballs.

Pinkies OUT!

yeah, i’m horribly delinquent. it’s been a rough couple of months for me on a number of fronts, but even as i slowly pull out of my tailspin of procedural cop drama and cookies in bed, i’m still having a hard time getting my shit together to write again. although, i can promise a lengthy exploration about why i decided that putting naked pictures of myself on the internet is probably not the best way to make myself feel better (don’t worry mom, i didn’t do it). however, in my long absence, i have gravely neglected to talk about a project that i was working on, and i’m sincerely hoping that it’s not too late to grab your attention and your time for a minute.

this holiday season, the ladies of swapmaine decided to see what would happen if we got ALL FANCY for the holidays. so, instead of having our standard “all you can grab” style swap of big bins and big digging, we’re throwing an intimate little cocktail party swap where everyone brings just a few of their very best things, drinks some bubbly, nibbles some snacks, and goes home with 5 immaculately perfect items. it’s kinda gonna be an amazing. here’s why:

death of a salesman.

let’s be clear: i am a terrible sales person.

when i was in 2nd grade, i quit girl scouts because i didn’t like being forced to sell cookies. in 5th grade, i quit trick or treating because it felt too much like solicitation. despite the fact that everyone loves girl scout cookies, and virtually every person in america has a bowl of candy at the ready on halloween, i couldn’t shake the dirtiness of asking someone to give me something- or worse, BUY SOMETHING!

it’s kind of my worst non-dismemberment related fear. like twitchy cold sweat vomit grade fear.

so here we are at IKEA bus time again, and we have 27 people signed up for a bus that holds 50. and on the inside, i’m all like OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. but then again, i don’t actually want to ask anyone to to buy a ticket. or flood my facebook and twitter feeds with plugs for my little project. so i’m sort of at a stalemate.

so my decision was to try and overcome my fear in the least invasive and annoying way i could think of- a short and to the point blog post. just one more before i give up, pat myself on the back, and say “hey, 27 people is still pretty sweet. you’re gonna have a kick ass time”.

so here it is.

IKEA BUS- come and get it!

good morning early birds! just in case you missed the first announcement, the IKEA BUS is back in action! tickets go on sale today, and because it’s late and i’m punchy, this year’s event is called: Revenge of the IKEA Bus (the Squeakquel)! The magic date is SATURDAY, MAY 19th, but otherwise the rules are pretty much the same as last year: donuts, bus, snacks, movie, ikea, frolicking, bus, movie, delivery, allen wrenches, bourbon.

this year, because i like to mix things up a little, i’m giving last year’s price of $30 a ticket for 1 WEEK ONLY. if you buy a ticket after 4/24, you’ll have to pay an extra $5. i have some ideas for snacks and in-flight movies, but i definitely need to get some more suggestions going on. i’m also hoping to work out a truck situation with some sexy local movers, but i haven’t nailed that one down quite yet. either way, there will be a truck (so now is your chance to buy a couch!) and free donuts. and fun. you don’t want to miss out on the fun. so get your ticket going RIGHT NOW, and start making your wish list.

IKEA BUS-save the date!

i’m hoping to get ticket sales up and running next week while i’m recuperating, but in the meantime… i have rented a bus. if you want to ride the ikea bus 2.0, you might want to put the date MAY 19TH on your calendars. but now, i must rest (it’s 2 am and tomorrow is surgery day).