holy spring cleaning jackpot batman: an ode to free stuff.

despite the fact that my attempts at going dairy free are not going quite  as planned (and certainly not providing the result that i think the silk company was looking for), i am still grateful to the fine folks at bzzagent for hooking me up with the free soymilk. i love free stuff, and i am always completely shocked when companies are willing to throw it at me just because i MIGHT be willing to discuss their product online.

remember that time that time i got that full sized bottle of pantene in the mail from vocalpoint? i sent that shit to preble street, and nobody even noticed. why just last week they offered me a free pint of some sort of flavored creamer (which will hopefully go a bit better than my last unsavory creamer incident).

but back to bzzagent. after many months of not getting offered crap from them (free redbox rental- big whoop), i got the soy milk offer AND an SC johnson cleaning product offer all in one week. my silk package arrived in an envelope, just coupons and a handful of propaganda that i didn’t read (sorry silk!) (sort of). so i figured that my spring cleaning kit would also show up in booklet form.

instead, i got this:

totally buzzed.

it’s no secret that i love me some free stuff. now i’ve proclaimed my love for vocalpoint many a time… as i have long considered it the king of the product testing/free shit sites with their seductive full size samples and fistfuls of high value coupons. except that lately, vocalpoint has left me a little cold. i mean how many boxes of kashi cereal can one girl really eat? oh, and the bounce dryer bar was just about the stupidest invention EVER. but i suppose even like 100 lame lowes coupons are better than a completely barren landscape.  i had tried kraft first taste and pssst! but got a big fat delivery of BUNK. even myblogspark has forsaken me!

but a few months back, i saw a post on ilovetogossip regarding a service i had never heard about… bzzagent. basically it was the same old song and dance where they say they’ll send you free products, in exchange for tweeting that shit up, or writing about it on your blog.  but then, all they offered me for like months and month was a crappy free redbox rental. boo! but a couple of weeks ago… THEY FINALLY SENT ME SOMETHING THAT I WANTED!

last week my coupons & “press kit” for thomas’ bagel thins arrived in the mail. a $4/1 coupon, 5 $1/1 coupons, some educational materials, and of course, not 1 but 3 bagel shaped magnets. it’s no secret that i’m in a perpetual state of vaguely trying to lose weight. i also have a deep and unquenchable lust for bagels. thus, a free bag of 110 calorie diet bagels seemed like an awesome idea. and in many ways, it was. here are 5 things i learned about bagel thins from my recent quality time alone with them:

why does proctor & gamble hate me so much?

today was a long day. up til 2 am watching medical shows last night (it’s mystery diagnosis monday!), and was dragging ass all day. then there was that time i got my my finger mangled in the file cabinet. ok, maybe not mangled, but temporarily squashed and bloody. surprisingly bloody. anyway, bunk day. so i haul my carcass up the hill and there is this beautiful bright blue box waiting on the coffee table. good news everyone! apparently, my P&G brandsaver had arrived!

i tore into that bitch so fast. what? a metamucil packet and 3 coupons for liquid tide (which BTW i’m allergic to). oh, and a whole lotta empty box (it was like a shoe box with two scraps of paper rattling around inside). so i ask you again, why doesn’t P&G love me like everyone else? why don’t they care about my bad day or my bloody finger? they just want me to poop and get hives. boo-urns. disappointing coupons are worse than no coupons at all. did P&G show anyone else more love than me?

magic box.

fucking vocalpoint man. how did i live so long without you? i say this in all completely unpaid sincerity. not that i wouldn’t accept payment for my adoration… but you never call. regardless, i love you anyway. since we first met, you have showered me with free gifts and high value coupons, asking little or nothing in return. not only are you generous with the swag, but said swag is always wrapped up in the most exquisite high-concept packaging. expensive!

but today, today was something else. sure, i vaguely remember signing up for a pantene sample few weeks ago… but i was in no way emotionally prepared for what arrived at my doorstep via UPS. UPS!  full color… die cut 2 part box whose unfolding petals revealed a full sized bottle of shampoo and 3 $2/1 coupons.

*jizz* *jizz*

seriously vocalpoint, or pantene, or whoever. how exactly is it that you can afford to give this shit away?

hot diggity!

see. i told you to sign up for all those product testing/sampling websites! today i received a smokin hot package from the folks down at pssst, bestowing me with not only a free package of yoplait frozen smoothies, but 10 $1.25/1 coupons. now if they turn out to be gross, then i’ll be distinctly less excited-but i’ve been meaning to try this shit for a while. anybody out there tried it yet?

hot damn betty crocker!

so excited. i guess i didn’t entirely use my powers of deduction when i signed up for a free sample of au gratin potatoes (which are complete trash, but so very delicious) via the betty crocker dinner made easy newsletter, because when a FULL SIZE BOX (or pretty much full size box) arrived, i was totally floored. now that i think of it, there’s no really good way for them to send a single serving… but still. i enjoy excitement. also, came with at $.50/1 coupon (which might be doubled at shaw’s if i’m lucky). the promotion is over, but i highly recommend signing up for the newsletter, because it is often the source of great coupons and more free stuff. while you’re at it, sign up for vocalpoint, quality health, pssst, right@home, kraft first taste, and home made simple too… your mailbox will be stuffed in no time at all.

olay pro disappointment.

i assumed that for joining vocalpoint, i became entitled to all free  samples available. thus, when i saw that the excessively expensive olay prox line, i was all sorts of excited about my free sample and accompanying coupons. apparently, i missed some email they sent me about how i needed to “opt in” to receiving the sample. all 65,000 samples were gone in 12 hours. shitty bitches. anyway, lesson learned. read the emails from vocalpoint or miss out on the good shit.

from a far off land.

posting remotely from the pumpkinfest in keene new hampshire. kind of disappointing really. $250 for a hotel room, the line for funnel cake was a 45 minute wait (settled for truly mediocre apple crisp instead), and there were NO APPLE DONUTS! outrageous. we’re making the best of it by getting take-out chinese, watching good cable (we only get 12 channels at home) in our king-size bed, and cashing in on tomorrow morning’s complimentary breakfast buffet (i suppose it’s not so complimentary for $250 a night).

anyway, taking a minute out in the “business center” (which is essentially a tiny little glassed in terrarium in the middle of the hotel lobby) to catch up on some of my scores from earlier this week:

1. CVS- finally got my free neosporin lip balm (although the newbie cashier almost didn’t let me have it because the coupon was for more than the sale price *oof*). i also got a copy of this month’s reinventing beauty magazine! this is the first time i’ve ever seen a current one in a local cvs, so i grabbed it.  mysteriously, they also had a fistful of just the coupon inserts hanging out on a shelf in the beauty section (this is the forest ave. cvs near the burger king in portland). anyway, since they won’t let me have coupons on clearance items, i took 3 of those too. spiteful! damage- $.99

2. rite aid. my allergies were killing me, so i decided to try out the allergen block (a little weird, but actually helps) SCR deal, and grabbed the carmex deals as well. the carmex lady lip balm… or whatever it’s called is my new favorite thing (and to think, since i got that coupon, it made me $1.50).  i checked my SCR status today, and i’m up to $30 back, and the month is far from over.  also, frugalsuz has alerted me to some  very sweet olay oriented rebates that i might work on next (considering i’ll be $9 deep into olay pretty soon).

3. mail call- i didn’t think i was getting them, but i finally received my kashi go lean coupons!!! my boyfriend loves this crap, so it will be nice to get him some healthy cereal, after the 10 boxes of kind of crap cereal that he just finished tearing through. two $3/1 coupons (which should equal free at walmart), and a bunch of $1.50/1 that will also come in handy i’m sure. but seriously vocalpoint– WHERE’S MY OLAY PROX?!

anyway, i’ve been doing a ton of thrifting on my trip, and will post tomorrow. but right now, my bean curd and vegetable soup is getting cold, and there are unruly ill-parented children racing around the lobby screaming and banging on the piano. time to make my exit.

monday mailbox- now with extra ranting.

pretty good mail day. unexpected book of $3/$30 coupons from shaws. not earth shattering savings, but combined with the right coupons, could turn good deals excellent- and i have been shopping there a lot lately (even if they didn’t have lettuce!!!).

finally got my secret clinical protection sample from vocalpoint yesterday. i have hyperhydrosis, which basically means that my underarms sweat constantly- regardless of the temperature or level of exertion. arousing! anyway, i’ve been using something called certain dri for years, which works great (i don’t sweat at all anymore), but is kind of harsh and stingy, and has the least sexy packaging ever (i hide it in my medicine cabinet because it’s pretty embarrassing). anyway, i’m actually excited to test this out.

i was a little bummed that there were no freebie coupons, but i’m probably starting to feel a little entitled in a way that is maybe not so great.  i read something yesterday that kind of rubbed me the wrong way…  someone was talking about “the plight of the couponer”, and all we have to endure in our efforts to save… irritable checkout clerks & managers… irritable customers in line behind us… rewards that don’t spit out when they’re legitimately earned… oh woe is us! anyway, i understand that being a super-couponer can be a little rough sometimes, but the truth is that we are inconveniencing people on both sides of the register. yes, we’re not doing anything wrong, and yes it’s great that we can get those savings… but  it’s irritating to stand behind us in line, and irritating when things don’t scan properly and the clerk has to go through every single line item on the register tape to make sure that we got our $.50 off. we are the reason that people curse themselves for “picking the wrong line”. i talk about this a little more in my “stay classy” section, but the key is to be organized, be ridiculously polite to everyone, and know when to walk away from the table. these savings are a privilege that we should be grateful for. let’s not let it turn us into crotchety old bitches who are happy to waste everyone’s time in pursuit of an extra dollar.

zyrtexplosion!

i have debilitating environmental allergies and asthma. thanks dad! a few things i’m allergic to (in addition to good old fashioned hay fever) are:

cats, rabbits (including & especially angora sweaters), birch trees, grass, dust mites, pollen… basically, it’s tough for me to exist in the world comfortably without a daily allergy medication. (my boyfriend makes a lot of jokes about needing to keep me in a bubble). anyway, i found zyrtec almost 10 years ago when it was still prescription, and i had a several year long bout with chronic hives (worst. thing. ever.). anyway, now i take one every single day (2-3 if i’m going to be in an allergy-rich environment), and it’s expensive as hell. about $30 a bottle for 45 pills without a coupon at a regular drug store or supermarket. usually, i buy it at sam’s club (where you get 75 pills for about $30), but thanks to moms need to know via money saving mom (i know, but the mommies know their shit), i found out how to get 45 pills for $2.87. SOLID.

usually, 45 pills at rite aid go for $29.99, but this week  they’re on sale for $24.99.  i bought the pills & an $.88 granola bar to tip me over the $25  ($25.87 to be exact) mark, so i could use the $5/$25 that i lifted from here, which brought me down to $19.99. then i added a $4 off coupon from some RedPlum past, which made my out of pocket $16.87 before tax. now, there’s a $4 single check rebate on the 45 count zyrtec this week, which can be double dipped with SCR #75 which takes off another $10 when you buy $25 worth of select products (zyrtec & the tylenol i bought yesterday included), bringing it all down (as promised) to $2.87. oh, and the purchase put me over the $100 mark on my gift of savings, which means that my $20 gift card is on the move. eat that sam’s club. 

weirdly, i got my zyrtec free sample in the mail today from walmart. 1 pill and a lousy $2 coupon.  ever since the texas pete scandal, the freebies have been bunk.