welcome to purge-atory. (part 2)

the ever mounting "TOSS" pile.

purge weekend certainly did not unfold completely as planned. whereas my paperwork stash did make significant gains (via significant losses), i mostly succeeded in moving things from one shelf to another, and squinting a lot at my shelves while attempting to determine exactly how i wanted things to look. i did scrape off a good chunk from the living room bookcase (which has been notoriously overrun with crap since day one), much of which actually ended in the donate pile (see inset).

i also nearly broke all of my bones falling off the counter… which i was standing on in socks (socks are slippery) to clean out my kitchen cabinets. but did find yet a few more things that can go (if anyone wants a popsicle mold shaped like rocket ships, you might want to hit the forest ave. goodwill this week).  it was probably worth the almost shattered pelvis.

after that though, things kind of unraveled. i was off to old port fest for fried mushrooms and panic attacks (WHERE DO ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?), and then accidentally ended up having beers for 6 hours with some very smart and chatty friends. needless to say, when i stumbled home around 11:30, i was in no mood finish putting my toys away.

still, some positive things have still emerged from this somewhat wrecky purge weekend:

1. laura at fore front fashion has graciously offered to show me the ways of fashion minimalism. (can you say closet gutting session?)

2. the boyfriend actually did keep his promise and got all of his shit out of the living room.

3. 2 loads of trash and goodwill donations have already left the house, with the promise of more to come over the coming week.

4. i used my hangover as an excuse to eat cheesy pazzo bread for breakfast.

cheap eats- top 10 under $10

ok, i’m done with my hopeless wallowing from yesterday.  i’m still feeling hopeless, but i’m taking a break from wallowing for a while, at least publicly. the brilliant @amycasey (worth the follow for you twitter geeks out there) recently suggested that i try the “small changes” plan, and i’m starting to think that it might be a good idea. perhaps if i can just force myself to focus on succeeding at one small element of life, i can use that momentum to pick up other small things as i go- eventually resulting in me actually having accomplished some of my goals (e.g.,having 2 month’s pay in my savings account, and fitting back into my size 8 jeans).

small task #1: stop spending so much goddamn money on eating out. i love eating out, and hells no i’m not going to stop, but i have decided that it’s time for me to take a big vacation from pricey pig-fests.  for the next month, unless it is a very special occasion (sort of like a very special episode, but with more gluttony and less emotional breakdowns), i’m going to try to keep my eating out budget to $10 or less. daunting, yes. but the benefits are two-fold! i will both A) spend less money, and B) by cutting out extras like appetizers, desserts, & booze… i should cut some calories as well. at least i hope so, because these size 12s are at MAX CAPACITY, and i will get back alley liposuction before i allow myself to go up another pants size.

in honor of this historic decision, i have decided to list my top ten things in town that are worth eating for under $10. not necessarily full meals, and definitely not always high end, but goddamn delicious and easily accessible.   i will probably be calling on this list fairly often over the next few weeks, so help a girl out, and gimme some more recommendations.

1. amatos– breakfast sandwich $2.29: cheap and dirty (and so simple, but shockingly delicious), but my absolute go-to whenever i’m broke and starving. it’s sort of like when i smoked, and cigarettes were only $2. you can always find enough couch/purse/street change to get a breakfast sandwich, and if you get them on toast (delicious non-wonderbread italian toast), it is both bigger, and better.

2. micucci– sicilian slab $4.50: we’ve all heard what i have to say about the miraculous qualities of the sicilian slab. cliff’s notes version- shit is GOOD, and 1 piece will fill you up for at least two meals. also, totally worth getting into a noisy altercation with a stranger.

3. gilbert’s chower house– grilled cheese $3.25: basically, this is what i get when i’m hungrier for more than just a breakfast sandwich.  simple and unpretentious, it’s got like an inch of cheese and really good bread. oh, and it comes with chips.

4. caiola’s– polenta fries $5.95: caiola’s is my favorite restaurant in portland, perhaps anywhere. i have never had a bad meal there ever (from their superb sangria to that salty caramel cake that haunts my dreams), but if i had to choose only one food to eat for the rest of my life, it would probably be their polenta fries. no florid description of their crispy perfection and accompanying red chutney stuff could really do them justice. i know they’re not even close to a whole meal, but seriously, GO EAT THEM RIGHT NOW.

5. green elephant– spicy vegetable medley stir fry $9: along with being the only 100% vegetarian restaurant in town, the green elephant is both totally tasty and extremely reasonable. they have a multitude of $9 entrees on the menu, but the spicy veggie medley is my favorite. but if you’re in the mood for something a little less healthy, i also recommend the king oyster mushroom tempura- rock ’em sock ’em fried mushroom action.

6. the maine squeeze– amanda berry $5: i have a bigtime starch and fat problem. potatoes, bread, pasta… butter, cheese, cream sauce… you might notice that the majority of my top 10 faves are a combination of those very elements. however, every now and again even i hit the wall, and i start to feel like if i don’t get some fruits and veggies fast- i might die. maine squeeze will make you a giant-ass smoothie of delicious healthfulness for a mere five bucks. the amanda berry has the distinction of being one of the few smoothies on the menu without bananas (my arch nemesis), but you should eat them, they’re full of potassium and they’re good for leg cramps.

7. kamasouptra– loaded baked potato soup $5.50: again, you’ve heard me do the dance of love for these guys, so i’ll keep it brief. a bowl of incredible soup (at a place that has more veg options than meat options) + a piece of bread roughly the size of small watermelon.

8. norm’s– mashed potatoes $2.50: norm’s is tricky for me because it’s a BBQ joint (meat fiesta!), but the trick is in the side orders. a cereal bowl filled with buttery garlicy mashed potatoes and/or a hunk of home made corn bread that can double as a personal flotation device are only a few of the tasty, filling, and dirt cheap options on their side order menu. there might even be some vegetables in there, but who gives a crap about those?

9. otto–  cauliflower & mushroom pizza $3.00: i sing a lot of (well deserved) praises about micucci, but in the land of the thin crust, otto reigns supreme. innovative and flavorful, with a rotating cast of flavors from mashed potato to cheese tortellini, 3 big slices for 9 small dollars is a dinner to be proud of. actually, it’s kind of freaky that maine has such kick ass pizza. i thought we could only make lobster rolls and whoopie pies?

10. corner room– papparadelle & mushroom pasta $9: i can easily take down $60+ worth of food and beverage at the corner room without even thinking about it, but the beauty is that assuming i lay off the booze & desserts (although their stiletto & tiramisu are positively worth shanking for), i can get a perfectly serviceable and incredibly delicious dinner for just $9. all their pasta options come in whole or half orders ($15/$9), and the half order portions are more than enough food to constitute a full meal (especially if you ask for extra bread). the papparadelle dish is full of perfect home made hand cut pasta (double wide), floating in the kind of pitch perfect cream sauce that grocery store pasta dreams about.

HONORABLE MENTION hot suppa– fried green tomato eggs benedict ???: i’m fairly certain that it’s less than $10, but i couldn’t confirm, so i don’t feel like it’s fair to put it on the official list. regardless, even if you’re a canadian bacon loving carnivore, this is still one of the very best things to eat on the peninsula at ANY PRICE. it has the perfect balance of salt and fat and acid, and by far the best benedict i’ve ever had anywhere ever (and if there’s benedict, i will eat it).

getting schooled.

well, i made it successfully through my first week on the $50 diet without any major trauma. i went out, i drank beers, i had lunch dates and snack breaks. i’m hardly cured of my spendy mcspenderson ways, but i did somehow manage to stay within my budget. and i think, very possibly, i might have even accidentally learned a few things.

1. ask for the cheap beer. usually something of the PBR or miller high life variety, but occasionally something pretty awesome like the $2 magic hat #9s (my all time favorite beer) at the port city music hall on tuesday night. bars have specials,  it is in your wallet’s best interest to find out where they are.

2. it’s never the wrong time to downgrade. day old bagels, iced coffee instead of an iced latte…i usually just wander into a food service establishment and order whatever the heck seems appealing in the moment- with no regard for sticker price. now, in an effort to hoard my sacred money, i start analyzing the menu in terms of bulk per dollar. i don’t just want something delicious anymore- i want something delicious that’s a good value.

3. accessorize your dinner. by friday night, i had exactly $8 left and was headed to the cupboard for the broke girl’s favorite dinner of pasta pasta pasta. not entirely as dismal as it sounds, i mixed some leftover faux sausage with a little paul newman sockarooni, but it was still missing something. the boyfriend brilliantly suggested investing in a $3.49 loaf of garlic bread from the amato’s. instantly, our dinner went from pitiful to butter soaked amazing.

4. work those coupons! by saturday evening, i had $2 left and was smothering in the hot hot heat.  but then, i unearthed a 2 for one blizzard coupon that i got for joining the DQ blizzard fan club. and not just the bitty blizzards, the 16 oz bad asses guaranteed to make you blissfully barfy. $3.74 for both, split with a more than willing boyfriend, i was able to satiate my fatness, and finish the week with a few coins in my pocket (very few, but still).

5. it’s ok to cheat a little. i didn’t use my debit card, but i may have accidentally dipped into the laundry quarters to purchase some emergency m&ms. when you’re cutting corners, it doesn’t always cost a lot to carry yourself through the rough spots.  on a strict budget, even $.99 candy seems like a spurge.