i try it- vegetable growing bonanza!

14 07 2011

i’m not exactly the earth mother.  i like plastic, and pop culture, and mini skirts. i watch A LOT of tv. it’s not that i hate the outdoors, or that i shun the environment… hey, i have reusable bags somewhere in my apartment. but you’re probably not going to catch me dabbing patchouli all over my braless ass while i listen to jam bands. you’re certainly not going to hear me talk about feeling “close to the earth”.

again, it’s not that i’m anti gardening… it’s just that i’ve killed a good 80% of the plants i’ve ever owned (let’s face it, i’m on my 3rd set of ikea cactuses).  but for some reason (with full knowledge of my spotty history with plants), when the deadbeat dude who is in foreclosure in my condo association abandoned his raised bed in the backyard… I WAS ALL OVER IT. at least that’s what i told the condo association president.

while i was waiting for planting season, i had lengthy and involved fantasies about what gardening would be like. i started asking agriculturally inclined friends for tips about what to do.

“you’re gonna need some compost. like a lot of compost.”

“you should hit the deering oaks farmer’s market for seedlings.”

“don’t bother with carrots, they never work out.”

“10-10-10!”

i took all of this sage knowledge into my brain, and waited for it to germinate.

nothing.

may arrived, and it was time to weed the box (which hadn’t been touched in 2 years)! except that if you remember may at all, it RAINED CONSTANTLY… the seeds of gardening excitement that i had planted in my brain were slowly being drowned by inopportune weather and the slow creep of laziness and apathy.

come the end of june, i still hadn’t done jack, and the excitement i once felt for the project had dissipated considerably. and by considerably, i mean entirely. it seemed too late. maybe i would do it next year… sorry condo association president. Read the rest of this entry »





weekend pickthrough- greetings from moose mountain edition.

30 08 2010

vacation is awesome! well, except for the part where i’m horribly bloated from starchy diner food and my neck hurts because my motor lodge pillows are too firm. but hey, i’m far away in a beautiful place (moosehead!) with nothing to do but sleep, snack, read trashy novels, horribly fail at NYT crosswords, and spend 5 hours straight catching up on this season of project runway. bliss. anyway, my wireless connection is spotty at best, and i’ll possibly be doing some vacationy stuff like riding on boats, hiking up mountains, and getting terrible sunburns, so i’ll be in and out this week. however, i will not forget you! i have every intention of posting on my regular schedule, although i’m sure the content will be tainted with my carb drunkenness, regular drunkenness, sun stroke, sea sickness, and the kind of apathy for work that can only come with 5 hours in bed with a danielle steel novel. just sayin, i warned you.

p.s. yes, there is a store here where you can get blowup sex dolls AND regional jams & jellies. incongruity FTW!

overheard in the office was one of the very few things that kept me from stabbing everyone at my last horrible office job. now, we can eavesdrop on our whole city. nice work overheard in portland!

another charming entry into the maine blog scene! if this chick can make buying toilet paper interesting, we’re bound to be in for pretty decent ride. although i could teach her a few things about getting her TP double extra cheap (work those coupons!).

just in case you didn’t hear me bragging about it constantly this week… the portland phoenix knows who i am! i didn’t make the best blogs list, but they are aware of my existence. next stop, world domination.

the single most seizure inducing web design (if you can call it that) that ever existed. although frankly, i think that the waving santa gif really brings it all together. maybe i need one? (via @mdesjardins)

this makes me so angry!

it starts in filenes basement, and then it spreads to your soul.

why can’t my crazy gramma have a fuck buddy?

buffy AND battlestar alums? the syfy channel knows what i like.