a day at the derby.

so, you’re not riding the IKEAbus. maybe you don’t need furniture, or you don’t have $30, or you have a pathological fear of bus bathrooms… or maybe you’re not just into my shit. whatever the reason, you may have some real estate available on your schedule today.

let me make a suggestion…

in addition to being IKEAbus day, today is also derby day.

but not the kind of derby with the fussy hats and mint juleps, the kind of derby with hot pants and ass kicking. i’m talkin about MAINE ROLLER DERBY bitches!

in the last few years, the maine roller derby scene has caught ON FIRE! and with names like mae snap and fist city kitty, it’s easy to understand why (well, easy for me). basically, if you love sexy fast paced brutality on rollerskates (and who doesn’t?)…

so tomorrow when you’re not riding the IKEAabus, consider taking your sweet self and your spending dollar ($13 at the door) on over to the portland expo at 6 pm to check out the big battle for ultimate rollerderby victory between portland’s own port authority and the boston massacre. i can promise that you will be bowled over by the action and the athleticism, and the fact that not even one of them seems to care if their fingers get rolled over at top speed. the soundtrack to the bout will be provided by todd the rocket, and some half time booty shakin from my favorite peeps at vivid motion.

there’s even a free post-party at the empire dine & dance .

not every town is awesome enough to have rollerderby, but if we want it to stick around, we’ve got to get out there and show these ladies our best fist wavin’ trash talkin’ beer swillinn’ SUPPORT!

*full disclosure- i have no idea if there will be beer or not. cursory google searches told me NOTHING.

back that ass up.

there’s a lot of freebies to be had out there, but as we learned this weekend from mindi cherry, we are not entitled to said freebies. but dude, even if you only get half of what you ask for- still a good deal. this morning, my inbox hilariously reminded me of one of my very favorite sample sites, with this headline:

the health benefits of a bigger butt.

i’d originally signed up for quality health because i wanted free stuff. i think maybe it was free jergens lotion or something… anyway, when you sign up for freebies, you also get signed up for their newsletter. usually, this is the sort of thing that i immediately unsubscribe from,  as i am one of those assholes who uses her actual (and only) email address to sign up for things. however, week after week, i consistently find myself opening and reading it. pointing and clicking! their diet & nutrition newsletter is shockingly informative & interesting, AND whoever writes their headlines needs a goddamn raise.

DISCLAIMER: nobody gives a shit about my opinions, and they certainly don’t pay for them. anything i choose to rant or rave about on this blog is solely the product of my own warped sensibilities, and a strong feeling that something either kicks complete ass, or kicks no ass at all.