the edge of extinction.

ok folks, it’s time for us to have a serious sit down discussion about the ikea bus.

the first week of ticket sales was exciting. after the first few days, i had 13 people already and it seemed like things were all systems go.

and then, they stopped going.

i  was stuck at 13 tickets for almost an entire week. and the worst part was that people kept asking me how it was going…

i’m a firm believer that it’s never good for business to tell people that things aren’t going well. so i would say things like “it’s going, but i wanna sell that shit out!” or “it’s coming along, but there’s still room!”. it’s a little awkward. and i’ve been feeling a lot of shame about the fact that it’s not going better. both because i don’t like failing at things, and because i really really do want it to happen.

i sold a few more tickets last week, but just a few. and sadly, my attempts at getting some press coverage turned out to be completely balls. so here i am, stalled out at at 16 tickets (i made the boyfriend promise to buy one, so i could say  17 and not totally be lying).

i’m not sure what happened. 58 people liked my press release on facebook. the eventbrite page has almost 600 page views! and everyone and their grandma keeps telling me what an awesome idea it is. so what gives?

bad timing? no money? not the right time to buy a couch after all? i have no idea.

the truth is that i’m scared. if i can’t get up to at least 25 (preferably 30) by the 7th (that’s THIS THURSDAY), i’m gonna have to cancel. the problem is that the money is mine, and if i don’t get the bus filled , that money still disappears. and i have student loans and a mortgage that can’t let that happen.

i don’t want to beg you. begging isn’t classy. more than anything, i’d like to gently remind you to buy your ticket now if you’re planning on going- or at least send me an email telling me that you’re definitely coming. and i’d also like to warn all the fabulous folks that did buy tickets, that there is currently a high likelihood that the trip will be canceled. so, spread the world to your friends and neighbors if you want it to be on. and if anyone knows a media outlet that might give the ikea bus a little lovin… now is the time to call in some favors!

parental advisory: explicit lyrics.

right now, i’m exactly like a slowly rolling katamari of blogs. every few months or so, i pick up yet another so-and-so and the ball just keeps getting bigger and bigger. this is awesome in the way that i get to write about a variety of crazy shit (this week i get to make granola bars and test drive a puffy skirt), although less awesome in the way that nobody actually pays me. well, last month, i rolled up yet another opportunity. this time, posting my prime content on the wcsh6 portland blog.

now, reposting content should require very little work on my part. SHOULD, of course being the operative word. however, ease is an experience reserved for people who use proper capitalization and aren’t quite so liberal with the f-bombs. wcsh6 might want my content, but understandably, they want it a little less colorful and a little more family friendly. pg-13 at best.

anyway, if you ever wanted to recommend my blog to your gramma, grade school english teacher, or friends from church camp, but didn’t think they could hack the racy themes and rampant overuse of commas… this is your chance! i’ve been filing the corners off all my material so that it’s safe for children, and no longer a choking hazard for the elderly.  you can see the distilled result of my most recent effort right here. or if you think that’s balls, if nothing else you can look at both posts side by side and try to spot the differences.