weekend pickthrough- fatty resurrection edition.

what, i didn’t even manage to pull out the weekend pickthrough during the actual weekend? even after i promised that i would try harder? yeah, on the surface, it looks right now like i suck pretty hard (and it’s true, i probably do). BUT, what i did do this weekend instead of writing the pickthrough was to resurrect an old corpse i had lying around the house (just in time for halloween)- my old diet blog being bess marvin.  since i am again attempting to take off the 30 divorce (and subsequent lazy-ass cheese whore) pounds, it seemed like a good idea to resuscitate ole bess, as it is a proven fact that people who write down what they eat lose more weight. now, i won’t be boring you with the details of my daily meals (unless i happen to eat something really extraordinary), but imagine how many pounds i can lose talking about blowing the crotch out of my spanx!

i can’t promise you that i will lose any weight, but i can promise you this:

1. grisly and detailed recountings of my frequent dietary failures.

2. i will continue to catalog every time that nancy drew took a cheap shot at bess marvin’s weight (that bitch!).

3. i will kick this shit off with a giveaway. ok, it’s a little bit lame- but it is free candy, a big boxy t-shirt, and a diet journal to write about how ashamed you are for eating all your candy in one sitting.  but if you want the goods, you do have to go over to being bess marvin and leave me a comment about the food that throws you off the diet wagon with both hands. or, if you’re some smug bitch who has a healthy relationship with food, you can write about that too.

if you made it this far and have actually noticed that i didn’t technically have anything to pick through this week, i apologize. maybe you could just toddle over to youtube and watch this a few times. it should pretty much make you forget your irritation, and just about anything else you have on your mind. 35 million people can’t be wrong.

weekend pickthrough- underwater edition.

much like a gigantic jellyfish, this week came out of nowhere. i had all these brilliant plans about getting 8 hours of sleep and being a productive and worthy human… and giant jelly just wobbled in and knocked the infrastructure out of my whole week. fuck.

obviously the wordpress.com feature was totally awesome, but my goal to try and answer all my comments is slowly killing me. maybe i’m 1/4 of the way through… and then of course there was the demon dog. not only did i have to pick up poop for the first time in my life (not impressed jamie- please stick to your regular pooping schedule!), but i also had to rearrange the whole way i formatted my life. no reading in bed because the light will keep the dog up… get up half an hour earlier than usual to take the dog on a walk… my texts to the boyfriend during the work day were no longer about our days or our plans, but about the dog’s bathroom habits and who was next on the walking schedule…

and then this morning, i awoke to find that the gentlemen putting on my new roof, had sealed me into my condo with a large piece of plywood over the door and several layers of blue tarps. i had to locate a hole in the tarps to scream through so that they could let me (and the dog) out. they seemed unimpressed. also, i got asphalt in my hair.

because i was so crazy sleepless behind this week, i haven’t mined as many great pickthrough items as usual.  but hopefully you can still find something to enjoy in this slightly truncated and hastily thrown together weekend pickthrough:

i thought that reviewing applebees on tripadvisor was the lamest possible thing you could do on the internet, i was wrong.

ghost towns of the recession.

does anyone else have one of these? i’m obsessed with trying one out (and frankly i see the “sexually suggestive” nature of the product to be a pro and not a con).

amanda jennifer shows us the hidden hazards of spanx.

what’s better than an adult spelling bee? a DRUNKEN adult spelling bee.

wait, you mean that the 3rd dimension isn’t new? incessant ramblings on the suckyness that is 3-D.

dirtnap daydreams. that portland food coma guy plans the ultimate fantasy binge before he heads to the big vomitorium in the sky. (bonus points for wanting to eat sushi off a naked lady).

am i totally stupid for not realizing that you can make ketchup in your very own kitchen? yeah, probably.

and of course, the week isn’t complete without a wistful fanboy wave goodbye to LOST (i don’t know about you, but i’d cut a bitch to get my hands on daniel faraday’s notebook).