day 3: a new demographic.

today is my birthday.

i’m not sure why 35 seems so old, when i didn’t notice 34 at all. is it because i’m officially in my “mid-30s” now (no turning back)? or perhaps because i am no longer in the 19-34 age bracket on surveys?

i do feel a little strange,  but i’m pretty sure i’m not having some sort of almost mid-life meltdown or anything, so that’s good. i did smear a bunch of face cream on my neck today because i became convinced  that i have early onset turkey wattle. although, i think it has less to do with aging and more to do with losing some serious neck weight over the last year. whatever the cause, i don’t think it’s wrong for anyone to be extra moisturized.

shaking the mystery box.

sometimes, i apply for so many freebies and shit online, that i completely forget what i’ve applied for. in the last few weeks, i’ve had not one but THREE  mystery boxes show up on my porch with a WTF, and then subsequent OMG upon opening them. i’ve gotten some really kick ass stuff in the last month… and now i’m gonna tell you about it:

party on contest winner!

the shamwow vince new year’s giveaway has officially ended, and we have a winner! a hearty congratulations to michelle f. who guessed 277- a mere 11 away (without going over) from 288-the actual number of times shamwow, vince, slap chop, or hooker were googled to get to my website. as promised, she will be taking home the sweet sweet burt’s bees giftbag.

i would also like to thank all of you who participated in my first decent giveaway! i will be having another one start up in a couple of weeks, where you will be guessing the amount of change in my found money jar – so keep those guessing muscles limber. perhaps buy playing a lot of guess who? while listening to the guess who. or whatever does it for you. mazel tov michelle!

givin it up.

remember that time i made a promise that i was going to start a giveaway contest once a month? well, that time has finally arrived. my only prior giveaway was for something that i just wanted to get rid of, and the winner was the first person to ask me for it. not very exciting! this time, i’ve chosen something that you might actually want! as a matter of fact, when it arrived in the mail, i almost decided to keep it for myself. but lucky for you, i managed to talk myself out of it.

when i was figuring out what to buy, i really wanted it to be something that was connected to my home state. burt’s bees is the perfect choice. not only were they conceived and founded in maine– but i also really really love everything they make.  double endorsement! but anyway, every year around xmas, they put out a totally sweet mystery bag full of all sorts of crazy shit. this year, the bag contains:

2 lip shimmers
2 lip glosses
2 lip balms
1 full size hand cream
1 full size cuticle cream
3 sample size soaps
1 sample eye cream
1 sample muscle mend
1 sample almond milk hand cream
1 sample body lotion
1 sample foot lotion
1 sample facial cleanser
1 package buttermilk bath
1 package therapeutic bath crystals
1 pair of adorable bee socks
1 shower cap
1 eye mask
1 lip balm holder

oh, and it all comes in this funny little burlap & plastic purse/bag thing that you should probably throw away- but maybe you can find some use for if you think about it really hard.

so now that i’ve made you want it (and you do want it), i suppose i need to tell you how to get it:

since it’s the new year, and because shamwow vince has been such a surprising source of traffic for me, i’ve decided that i would like people to guess exactly how many hits i have gotten from vince related web searches. here’s how it works:

1. ogle and desire the burts bees gift bag.

2. think about how many vince related web searches (including: vince, shamwow, slap chop, hooker- and any combination thereof) i will have received by the close of the contest on january 15th.

3. leave me a comment with your guess.

4. be the closest guess without going over (price is right rules).

some stuff to know:
to date, i have had around 8500 hits on my website. so unless you’re planning on doing a media blitz for me- chances are your guess should be somewhat lower than that.

one guess per commenter!!

if you are the lucky winner, i will notify you on the 16th. i will email you personally asking for your shipping information, and i will send you the goods. no strings, i promise. you don’t even have to subscribe to my twitter  (unless you want to).