narcolepsy.

you may have noticed that i haven’t posted in a few days. i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i just keep falling asleep.

if i were lindsay lohan right now, i would check into a rehab facility for exhaustion (except for the fact that i’m not actually addicted to cocaine and just using it as a cover story). anyone who knows me well knows that i don’t really care much for sleep and avoid doing it at all costs (i average about 4 hours a night in general). i don’t know if it’s the crazy SPRING FEVAH i’ve been rocking, or me just getting old… but i’ve been partaking in a scandalous 8+ hours a night for the last week.

i feel quite perky, but the blog is suffering. and for that, i apologize.

i really did start  a weekend pickthrough on sunday night about how i forget that every time i post something in the “cheap eats” category,  it gets posted on portland food map. and then all the local foodies flock here to tell me what an assmunch i am, and how i don’t know anything about food.  it even featured a picture of really big oranges…

then on monday, i almost posted something about how i felt about the whole bin laden situation… but then i felt like this wasn’t the right place to do that.

anyway, here it is already wednesday, and i still have nothing to show for it except dewy rested skin.  not sure what the rest of this week will look like yet… i have a big burlesque performance on saturday that i’m totally unprepared for. and then of course i have to figure out something nice to do for my mom… so i can’t promise content-palooza or anything. that said, i’ll try to get it up for at least a post or two before the week is through. maybe. in my absence, perhaps you should ready every single archived installment of savage love… or at least just spend some quality time zoning out to the shiba cam.

weekend pickthrough- disruptive holiday weekend edition.

days off are nice i suppose, but holiday weekends are made of lies. sure, up front it looks like you get an extra day for lounging and merriment… but the reality is that those dangling days are fodder for family barbecues and other- though not entirely unpleasant, still mandatory time burglars.

friday, i had a busy day at work chased by an early exhaustion crash before i was able to squeeze out the weekend pickthrough. then yesterday, a fun but timesucking family party rendered my saturday limp and useless. oh, and then i ate too many faux buffalo wings and passed out in a puddle of my own drool on the couch. and so that brings us to sunday morning, where the weekend’s mostly over, and i still haven’t gotten my ass in gear to write the weekend pickthrough. the bad news is that it’s not that exciting this week.  the good news is none of you are around to read it because you’re all attending obligatory family reunions and pool parties. or if you’re really unlucky, a birthday party for a child who is way too young to appreciate it

i’ve long thought that kids these days are big fat pussies (entirely the fault of their overprotective parents). this weekend (to the horror of your neighbors), prove that your kids aren’t walking wuss-factories, and send them out to play- UNATTENDED! (shocking, i know)

portland’s resident fat bastard joe ricchio lists his top 10 eats in portland for 2010, and it’s not all fois gras and pinkies up. the man appreciates good food on the cheap from chili dogs to my beloved sicilian slab.

the most useful tutorial i’ve seen in a while. why didn’t they have youtube when i was 14!?

according to the coupons.com coupon scientists, rich (well, rich-er) people use more coupons. do wealthier people value money more? do wealthier people feel entitled to keep more of their hard earned cash? or is it some sort of insane competition to see who can get the most for the least?

in case you missed this year’s celebration, may 25th was nerd pride day. i hope you all were able to don your traditional costumes, dust off your babylon 5 figures, and engage in a rousing discussion about who would win in a fist fight between george lucas and gary gygax (r.i.p. sweet geekfather, i’d put my money on you any day).

i wish i was the kind of girl who wrote blog posts about being the kind of girl who ices her muffin. well, except the part about sticking rhinestones to my cooch.

ok, and not to end on a bummer note, but did anyone else (save for my friend michelle from fun with tofu who pointed it out to me) notice this seemingly racist cartoon in last weekend’s parade magazine? it’s seems screwed up to me that more people aren’t really pissed.

cheap eats- micucci love.

apparently, the michelin man has high end tastes. i stumbled upon this video on cnn.com today, and it made me think about all the really great food out there that isn’t being appropriately appreciated because it isn’t expensive. higher cost does not necessarily always mean higher quality- especially when it comes to food.  now, i am a girl who will pay $50 or more for a really good meal and not bat an eyelash (food is one of the things that makes life worth living, and i won’t sacrifice!)- but there are also some amazing finds in this town that will knock you stupid with their deliciousness without robbing you completely blind.

for my first love fest, i would like to recognize not only the best pizza in town, but the best pizza i’ve ever had- EVER. and frankly, some of the very best food in general that Portland has to offer. of course, i am referring to the notorious “sicilian slab” at the micucci grocery store on india st.

micucci’s is a great place to visit if you’re in the neighborhood, with it’s incredible selection of italian foods from pickled eggplant to spumoni. they even have their own deli. they also make the only passable cannolis i’ve ever found in maine (anyone help me out here?). however, if you’re not in the mood for browsing the torrone- take a right at the meat slicer, and head on back to the bakery area. there you will find 2 very small tables, and one large metal rack full of deliciousness. or possibly not- shit sells out LIGHTNING FAST! be prepared to wait in line. be prepared for people pick a fight with anyone suspected of cutting in that line, or taking more pieces than they deserve. the sicilian slab is so amazing, that it makes people batshit crazy. some things you should know to avoid any potential fist fights or faux pas:

1. the sicilian slab comes in one flavor- plain cheese. you don’t need anything else.  under no circumstance should you complain about this- and for the love of god,  don’t ask for toppings!

2. do not ask the micucci staff to reheat the pizza if it is cold. it is almost as good cold as it is warm, but if you really want it hot- get your ass there early and wait in line (usually, the only cold ones happen at the very end of the day). or, get a cold one and reheat it yourself (you lazy jerk).

3.  if there is a line when you arrive, quietly go to the back. a paper plate on the pizza rack will tell you how much time you have to wait. under no circumstance should you ask the chef or kitchen staff when things will be ready.

4. if you are at the front of the line, take the first piece of pizza that comes out- no matter what. i’m sorry if the next piece looks better- they’re all delicious, suck it up and move along.

5. if you need more than 2 slices, make your friends come with you to get their own- or call ahead to order a whole pie. if you would like to try to grab more than 2 (especially around lunch time when the lines are the longest)- go ahead, get shanked, be my guest…

i don’t lie. words can not describe how supernaturally amazing this pizza tastes. it’s not a meal, it’s a fucking religious experience. actually, it’s also a meal- a big meal that will last you all day. and for the low low price of $4.50, i defy you to find a lunch on the peninsula that tastes better.

*go! go now!!*