liquidation sales suck cock.

as you may have heard about town, borders is going out of business.

i don’t think anyone was surprised about it. it’s been on those “businesses about to go extinct” list for years with blockbuster and reader’s digest and all the other dinosaur brands. and so with the announcement of the closing, comes the immediate materialization of the telltale fluorescent signs flashing 40% off, and the kind of parking lot gridlock that makes a girl want to start slashing tires or throwing punches, or possibly both at the same time.

now the signs all say 40% OFF real big, but the fine print is always up to. opening weekend at borders, pretty much everything was a pitiful 10% off. yet for some reason, the line was out the fucking door.  10% off things that are full retail (and in some cases grossly inflated prices) is NOT A GOOD DEAL PEOPLE!  WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?

i’m not entirely sure what kind of crazy discount juju possesses people when it comes to liquidation sales, but although the signs are big and flashy, and EVERYTHING MUST GO…  a quick rule of thumb: if the store was still open and you saw 10% off sign, would you bother to buy something that you didn’t really need (and that you could likely get somewhere else for cheaper)? probably not. THEN BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM THE BORDERS. EVERYTHING MUST NOT GO. (just try to dodge that crazy bitch slashing tires and throwing punches in the parking lot).

foolishly, i went back again today (with more promises of 40% off), and was doubly disappointed. 20% is still NOT 40%, and shit was pretty much cleaned out anyway. there were a lot of dvds on sale for 40% off, but it’s not exactly a bargain when the dvds in question are $20-$60 each. didn’t i just say that my cut off for new dvds was $3? again, i hit the bricks with nothing.

get your local on- hungry for a picnic.

it seems like only yesterday that i was pimpin the summer picnic arts & music fest… but alas, winter is here. fortunately with the frosty ass weather, we also get a a second serving of our favorite local indie craft bonanza. thus, this week’s installment of my buy local last minute xmas shopping guide is dedicated to the fine local artists who will be rockin it at winter picnic all weekend long (saturday, dec 11, from noon to 8pm and sunday, dec 12, from noon to 5pm) at the maine irish heritage center (at 34 gray street and state street).

EMBLEM STUDIO: a long time ago, kris johnsen was an intern at a place where i used to work (that will remain nameless). i asked him one day if he could draw, and his answer was: “kinda”. well kris johnsen, you’re a fucking liar. little did i know that our mild mannered intern would grow up to be the most incredible poster artist in town. like HOLY SHIT good. and right now you can get his work for anywhere from $10-$40. and trust me, you want it.

i am deeply in love with this dress by LUSKIN. sophisticated but comfortable shapes in bamboo fleeces and cottons with unexpected printed details. yum.

STRONG ARM BINDERY makes me giggle every time. beautiful and infinitely clever letterpress cards,  hand bound books and other assorted treasures. i’m especially fond of their recent foray into faux bois.

i want JUSTIN RICHEL to illustrate my whole life. stacks of sweets and birds! powdered wigs made out of stags! i have a dream to some day commission a vintage globe covered in hand painted sweets. but until a day arrives where i can afford such a thing, i’m going to hoard all sorts of his prints. and for around $10 to $25 each, i could paper a whole wall.

did i ever tell you that i was a ceramics concentration in college? i actually suck, but i have a deep love for the clay that can never be broken. PATTICERAMICS knows what i like, and what i like are lots of gorgeous hand thrown vessels covered in charming mushroom scenes.

i don’t have time to talk about everyone, but i would also like to strongly encourage you all to stop by the booths of the fabulous kate sullivan-jones from sweet disorder (maybe to pick these up for me?) who will be sharing a table with the equally marvelous audrey of little eye designs, milo in maine to say hello to meanmama, and the goodwill of northern new england table to check out their sweet select vintage spread. actually, just check out everything. it all looks fantastic (picnic doesn’t do half-assed).

in short, it’s gonna be an kick ass amazing couple of days of shopping and live music curated by hillytown presents plus the maine radio project DJs (double musical pimps to my good friend galen/computer at sea). bring cash, bring your xmas list, bring your friends (admission is free!), and wear your best holiday sweater so that you can get your fucking picture taken with the yeti.