weekend pickthrough- cleaning up my act edition.

it’s been a wacky summer. once upon a time, i posted 5 or more times a week. i deal hunted. i cataloged. i photographed my groceries like a crazy person. then sometime this summer, i got lazy. or busy. or both. not to be a crybaby, but committing to writing a blog every day (or almost every day) is really hard. nowadays i’m lucky if i can squeeze out one post between weekend pickthroughs. NOT COOL. anyway, consider this weekend pickthrough my profound apology, and sincere promise to try and get back to where i was when i started (or at least closer to it). here is a list of my potentially empty promises to you:

1. i will try to write at least 4 times a week. even if the posts are kind of crappy.

2. i will try harder to respond to comments within 48 hours, unless there’s like a 100 of them, which totally never happens.

3. i will relaunch my diet blog being bess marvin with a totally sweet (ok, actually, it’s kind of lame, but it does involve free candy) giveaway.

4. i will bring back the “worth the trip” feature, and actually get some deals up in this business.

ok, i should probably distract you with some weekend pickthrough right now, before i say anything else that could potentially end up being a lie. what i can promise you, is that you’ll never look at a snuggie the same way again.

you’ll also never be able to read your babysitter’s club books again.

a creative use for burritos! (although, i think i’d probably use bagels instead).

karate bears!

the mostly true adventures of lepage and rooks. (seriously, 207ers DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN TO OUR STATE).

i was never a hairdryer person or a gun person, but now i might be both.

no, mocha dick isn’t a porn title. but it totally should be.

you really can buy EVERYTHING on amazon.com, but the product descriptions here are priceless.

i really should have named my dog majestic crystal. although if brother brent doesn’t show up, maybe i can just hook up with this guy.

this is gonna make my ipad so awesome! you know, when i get one. or steal one. or make one in my garage.

and you smell like one too.

what day is today? it’s broke207’s birthday! what a day for a birthday, let’s all have some cake.

those of you who are also at one with the nerdness might recognize that as the birthday song from futurama. it always surprises me that “happy birthday” is out of play for the media, unless they’re willing to pay up to $30,000 for it. anyway, i don’t have that kind of cash, so the futurama version it is! because hell yeah, it’s my bloggy birthday today. or bloggiversary? or blogs day? you pick one that you like, i’m not fussy.

exactly one year ago today i started this shit, and i can’t say that i’m not more than a little bit surprised that it’s still happening.  it’s been sort of a wild ride actually. i remember the day that i got 7 pages views in one day, and i almost crapped my pants with excitement. then only a few months later, i got featured on freshly pressed and had over 3,000 pages views and 100 comments in 2 days. i also remember complaining about only having 6 twitter followers, and now i have more than 600. i am by no means “internet famous” quite yet (and that’s not really my goal anyway), but i’ve found people and support in ways and places that surprise me every single day. it’s been awesome, and i hope it continues to be awesome in the future. actually, i want it to be even more awesome.

maybe i’ll do a post someday about what i want broke207 to look like at this time next year, but for today, let’s look back and take some notes. my dad always used to make us go around in a circle at the thanksgiving table and say what we were thankful for. or at least he did until the year where my answer was “teen angst”, and then my sister said she wanted to be a stripper, and somehow the whole thing ended with us crying and throwing food at each other (true story, ask my mom). anyway, today i’m going to go around the table and list 5 things that i’m thankful for related to this here blog (brace yourself for wistful sap-fest):

1. after spending my whole previous life stressing about it and avoiding it, i learned this year that i really love writing. sort of a pleasant surprise to find something that i think i could be good at after a 33 year career of aimless wandering. it may not pay my bills, but if you told me last year that i would have articles published on part time vagabond or the flyte blog, i would have laughed in yo FACE. or possibly spit on you, depending on my mood.

2. for a long time, i thought i had met everyone worth meeting in portland. starting this blog (and tweeting my ass off) helped me unearth an untapped layer of totally kick ass people who are not just generally awesome- but are actually out there getting shit done. sorry old friends, you’ve been replaced. ok,  not really, but i’m just so fucking inspired by these new people rotating in my orbit that i want to take out a full page ad in some publication that people actually read (US weekly?) telling them how great they are. or maybe this guy can tell them.

3. i started this website with a maine readership  in mind (thus the 207), but somehow people who don’t even fucking live here have found a reason to rub up against me and show their love. it’s awesome. (i’m talking about you coupon goddess and infamous qbert).

4. somewhere underneath all the swearing and the snark and the grump, i have found some generosity hiding in there. i don’t think i knew that about myself last year. it started out with just collecting drugstore freebies to drop off at the preble street resource center every now and again, and has morphed into me actually understanding the value of volunteering, and how much you can still do to help even if you don’t have any actual money to give. from sending expired coupons to troops overseas to volunteering with at risk teens all of the sudden i’ve become the person who will someday drag her family to the soup kitchen on sunday mornings to sort cans in the food pantry. they’ll learn to love it, i swear.

5. i’m starting to figure out that it’s ok to fail, or at least to suck. i’ve learned this year that i totally blow at hosting giveaways, taking photos, being consistent, and returning comments on the day that i get them… but people still come around anyway. maybe there are ways that i could have built more followers, gotten more page views, or made things all daft punk style harder, better, faster, stronger…  if i had put my nose just a little bit closer to the gridnstone (why do you mock me grindstone?!). but maybe all of that pressure to be successful and not make mistakes would have made me blow out of this shit already. this is supposed to be what i do for fun, and it is certainly what i do for free, so i’ve adopted the morrissey method- “do you best and don’t worry“. and here i am, still here. and i’m pretty sure that it’s made me saner, happier, more creative, and more hopeful (sample that kanye).

so anyway peoples, thank you for an amazing ride (yeah, that’s overtly sexual). any suggestions for how i can make the next broke207 year even more kick ass?

i’m wordpress famous!

chances are if you are visiting my blog today, it’s because you got here from the wordpress.com landing page. you know, the one with the “freshly pressed” section where a random selection of blogs with provocative or interesting articles get a little pimp every few days? well, in case you’re in the 1% of my regular readers who didn’t wander here via the wordpress train, I AM ON THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW! (and i’m totally peeing my pants about it).

it’s funny actually, because a few weeks ago, i read an article entitled “5 ways to get featured on freshly pressed“. and i was all like “hell yeah i wanna be on freshly pressed”, what do i need to do? apparently, the answer was something about no typos and no adult content. considering that my blog is written entirely in lowercase, and is riddled (and i do mean RIDDLED) with profanity, i figured my chances of being picked were pretty much slim to none (leaning toward the none side). apparently, i was wrong. all i needed to do was write an inflammatory article about not paying for the education of my imaginary future children.

as it turns out, a lot of people have A LOT to say on the subject (some people’s responses were longer than my post!). at 62 comments and counting, i’m feeling completely overwhelmed (in an awesome way) by the response, but even more shocked that the majority of it has been positive. ok, one guy called me an idiot, and another person told me that my uneducated daughters would grow up to be whores (hand to god, you can not make this shit up), but mostly i was feeling the solidarity of so many people who just wished that they had put the secondary education on pause for a minute while they did some growing up.

i have every intention of answering all 62+ of those comments as completely and thoughtfully as i can. that said, it will probably take me a while.  so while you wait, in the absence of any neil diamondesque elevator music, please just accept my humble thanks for coming to visit and bothering to have anything to say (good or bad) about my insane ramblings (or if my thanks isn’t enough to keep you busy, maybe you can go look at this for a while). this has been the best blog day ever.