weekend pickthrough- bottom of the sea edition.

changing jobs is hard. somehow, i forgot about that part. i spent the majority of last week either lapsing into couch comas or trying to keep myself from bursting into hysterical tears at inopportune moments (with mixed results).

and then there was the part where i didn’t have time for the internet. which is weird, because i pretty much live on the internet full time. it’s my natural habitat (well, the internet and target).

basically, i was either trying to get my bearings at my new job (situation improving, if slowly), alseep, or sobbing hysterically in an unfortunate place. no twitter, no facebook, no gchat…  i feel like i was incarcerated, or in a coma, or at the bottom of the sea for the last 7 days, and i’m just finally resurfacing. i’m disoriented, and a little cranky. but i’m back, and as always, sorry for dropping off the planet for a bit.

i have a full lineup of posting schedule for this week (including my annual bad halloween costume roundup), but for the transition back into normalcy, let’s just start with a few easy links:

pillsbury bake on.

ever since i saw a documentary on the food network in 2003, i have been obsessed with the pillsbury bake off.

i don’t know what it is. the massive ballroom full of kitchens? the chance to rub elbows with the dough boy? an excuse to eat as many cinnamon buns as i can in the name of the $1,000,000 prize?

ok, yes to all of those things. but what really really gets me is that at the heart of the bake-off, is hope.

as opposed to throwing my dreams recklessly into the lottery hole- where i leave myself entirely at the mercy of chance, the bake-off gives its entrants the element of control. your chances of making it to the big ballroom showdown are only as good as the magic you can work with refrigerated biscuit dough and canned soup.  like pedestrian top chef (with scary life sized doughboy instead of scary snide gail simmons)!

i’m a top notch food assembler (vs. a real cook), so why couldn’t i attain the same level of glory as the guy who put cookie dough in the waffle iron (genius BTW)?

i took monday off from work to hunker down and tinker with my potentially prize winning “recipes” (adding stuff to prefab cake mix isn’t exactly the true spirit of the term), and i have to say that i’m pretty fucking pleased with myself. i’ve been wanting to enter the bake-off for almost 10 years now (i kept missing the every 2 year slots), and monday was the very last day to enter. i sort of wish that i had given myself more time to hone my assemblies, but as far as my general fatness goes (especially considering my recent puffy run-in at the mall)… one day every two years to gorge myself on biscuit dough and brownie mix (well, i do have to taste test) is probably wise.

i’m not entire sure what the rules are about revealing your recipe secrets, so i’ll refrain from spilling all the details until they announce the finalists in september. but for now, i can tell you that i did something with spicy chocolate and a twist on eggs benedict (2 recipes, no spicy chocolate eggs benedict). i will also tell you that i will probably be disqualified because they think i’m a representative for TOBASCO. what can i say, i was feeling the spicy this year.  [side note: growing up, my next door neighbor was the heiress to the TOBASCO sauce fortune].

so… should i start spending my $1,000,000 now?

but seriously, do any of you out there know anyone who has ever been a finalist? i want the first hand dish!

weekend pickthrough- icy dip edition.

ok, first let’s forget that it’s not the weekend. then, let’s give me a free pass for not posting last night because i was sick, and had a ridiculously insane weekend that included dunking my pasty flesh into icy ocean water while wearing polar bear ears and a tutu. i can’t say that my cold is any better for having done it (i’m fearing that i may have risked a sinus infection), but it was actually a pretty amazing experience. first and foremost, i did it with my two best friends (plunging your head under water in the middle of february is a whole lot easier when you’re holding hands and counting to 3 together). secondly, we raised almost $1,000 for camp sunshine (which made me feel pretty fucking great because i HATE fundraising). it was COLD AS SHIT, and i thought i might lose some digits to frostbite as soon as my wet flesh hit the icy air (36 degrees my ass), but it was over fast- and most of what i remember is the feeling of ultimate victory for having done something so ballsy, and the part where i got tipsy on mimosas and ate breakfast gnocchi at the front room afterward with some of my favorite people. verdict: polar dipping is incredible (if somewhat stupid and crazy). i think this week, i will write some original content for the wcsh6 blog about “how to be a polar dipper”, because when i was trying to figure out what it was going to be like, there was jack shit for resources.

and now, some random crap!

i don’t even know how to drive… yet somehow, i want a landrover now.

OH GOD NO!

who says that recent law school grads are having a tough time finding jobs?

the absence of the towels.

i’d never even heard of a lustron home before, and thanks to this article, now I’M OBSESSED. (too bad there aren’t any in maine)

this was funny in 2000, and it’s still funny now.

do you know the unspoken rules of the urinal?

fitness instructors of america- get your best hand job concentration face on and get ready to be the next shake weight trainer!

no seriously, there’s actually a movie called JOHNNY SKIDMARKS. (has anyone seen it?)

weekend pickthrough- scavenger *unts edition.

big weekend folks. BIG WEEKEND. first and foremost, it was halloween, and i went to the single most kick ass halloween party of my life. probably of anyone’s life. huge props to my friend and party planning hero @profdiddy (and his equally awesome partner in crime mike d.) for managing to organize and seamlessly pull off a city wide scavenger hunt with 35 costumed, drunken and belligerent participants. oh, and while keeping score of the 40+ scavenger hunt items that people were rapid firing via text message to home base, they still somehow managed to put together a comprehensive slide show of the whole mess and donate the proceeds of the evening to my favorite local cause, the preble street resource center. some things i learned:

1. do not underestimate the power of a wasted chick dressed up like a crazy cat lady (even if she can’t stop screeching about her pussy while littering the streets with stuffed cats). she somehow managed to sweet talk our way into the fire station and get photographed kissing a fire fighter in the front seat of the fire truck, AND convinced 6 patrons of one of the fanciest restaurants in town to make a human pyramid in the middle of the street. at times embarrassing, inappropriate, and totally unsafe… this is the one woman that your scavenger hunt team can not do without. thanks again jolene!

2. people will do just about anything if you tell them it’s for a scavenger hunt (especially if that scavenger hunt benefits a charity). i already mentioned the human pyramid, but we wrapped strangers up in toilet paper, had them do the human wheelbarrow, got them to juggle mini pumpkins, and do full splits (while still on their waitressing shift). we even convinced an older gentleman dressed like santa clause to pretend that his giant candy cane was a giant joint. city of portland residents- YOU KICK ASS.

3. being a good scavenger is as much about being smart and ballsy as it is about being opportunistic. one of our challenges was to recreate iconic rolling stone covers with our team mates and strangers from the streets (with extra points for creative use of non-human objects). while in the fire house getting our kiss picture, we managed to wander upon rescue randy here. with some quick thinking and a willingness to roll around on the fire station floor, my friend michelle knocked the john and yoko cover pictured above out of the park. save for the guy dressed up as darth maul who actually got naked to reenact the same photo for his team- it was pretty much the hit of the evening.

4. don’t use the word “cunt” in your team name, or you won’t win the best team name contest.

for the record, we didn’t win (not even close), but it didn’t matter at all. i wish i could share all the racy and ridiculous photos with you, but you’ll just have to draw some pictures of what you think happened. i don’t think my friends would ever speak to me again if i plastered them all over my blog.

the second big thing about this weekend, is that it marks the kickoff of national novel writing month.  basically, it’s a group of people who have committed to attempting to write a 50,000 word novel from november 1-30th. just 1,667 words a day. simple, right? i’ve actually failed 3 prior challenges (the prize is the ultimate victory of having finished a novel), but i have a strong support system this year and am making one big change that i hope will increase my chance of crossing the finish line for once:  don’t ask me to hang out this month, because i’ll probably say no. i’m making deep cuts into my social life in the name of my writing, including a commitment not to go out to eat (save for one overdue birthday dinner IOU) for the entire month (perhaps this will also have a positive effect on my wallet?).  if you’re interested in reading my novel as it slowly rolls out, or you wanna jump on the writing train yourself, you can find my info here (if you’re in the writing mood, i demand you be nano friends with me).

i know, another weekend pickthrough without actually picking through anything. with election day around the corner, most of what i’m finding interesting lately has been about politics- and i don’t think this is the right venue to open that pandora’s box… (although i am happy to discuss it with anyone privately if they’re so inclined). also, i haven’t really seen anything super funny for a while. well, except maybe this.

looking a little pastie.

a couple of months ago, i took my top off in a bar full of strangers and lived to tell the tale. i promised to give you all the full rundown sometime in the indeterminate future… well, that future is now- and this piece is 2 STRUTs for the price of one (one as a STRUTter and one as a not so casual observer). it’s posted on over at the observer, but their direct link is a little screwy right now, so you can find the piece in its entirety below. and in case you’re local and didn’t get a chance to see/feel/taste/participate in the carnage that was my  STRUT performance, i’ll be shakin it one final time tomorrow (october 14th) at geno’s. come support/join/ogle me, or at least come point and laugh.

Confessions of a late night STRUTter- A lesson in bringing it.

As a woman on a firm trajectory toward her mid-thirties who packed on an extra 30 lbs. 2 years ago and is still using “I got divorced” as an excuse for her somewhat doughy physique, one might not guess that I’d be jumping at the chance to get mostly naked in a room full of strangers. Two months ago, I probably wouldn’t have guessed that either. But then, burlesque happened.

don’t make me beg.

seriously, don’t make me do it. is it really so hard to take a blurry cameraphone photo of your favorite thrift store find and email it to me? is it really so hard to take the $25 gift card prize and go buy more awesome stuff? i’ve received a few more entries to the goodwill giveaway madness contest (as indicated by the AMAZING salty pete lamp in the upper right corner over there that takes you to the contest gallery), but it’s NOT ENOUGH! it’s flea market and garage sale season, so get your asses out there and do it. for example, i hit the montsweag today, and scored the very amazing crazy 60s airplane crossection picture at the left. and don’t be fooled by the pricetag, i only paid $10 for it.  you probably could have talked them down further… but i guess you don’t care about free money AND ultimate victory.  just in case you change your mind, i’m accepting entries until the 31st.

goodwill giveaway madness!!!

first and foremost, i would like to officially congratulate the fabulous colleen o. for kicking some jolly green ass and winning the april free veggie swag. woot! but that’s all behind us now. it’s may, it’s time for an exciting new giveaway, and i’m beta testing a crazy idea this month.

as you may already know, i am an avid thrifter. i make the rounds at my local goodwills and salvation armys pretty much weekly, and am constantly hunting for crazy vintage crap to put in my crazy vintage crap collections. at the present, i am collecting: 1940s era nancy drews, figures made entirely out of white porcelain, vintage fabrics, mod jewelry, midcentury modern furniture, and pretty much anything that seems just too awesome to leave at the store. many weekends i come home with nothing, but every now and again, i come home with something remarkable.

everyone, meet toot-a-loop (toot-a-loop, everyone).  about two years ago, while perusing the electronics aisle at the forest ave. goodwill, i found this little puppy nestled between the discarded 8-track players and multiple copies of herb alpert and the tijuana brass whipped cream and other delights albums. mostly, it just seemed weird and cool and was only $2.99, so why not. a brief googling, and i found out that not only was the toot-a-loop designed to be an am radio bracelet (that’s right!), but it also that it routinely sold on ebay for $40+. score! not that i sold mine, but it’s nice to know that i have the option.

so you might be wondering, does this seemingly pointless yammering about the toot-a-loop perhaps have a point? or perhaps, when do i get free stuff to entering a stupid contest? well, here we go: i just told you my amazing thrift find story, and i want to hear yours. the prize at stake is a $25 gift card to goodwill (or if your area doesn’t have a goodwill, we can work something out). here are the rules:

1. submit a picture of your hot hot thrift find (garage sales & flea markets are also applicable) to my email.

2. in the above mentioned email, tell me where you got it, how much you paid, and why it’s so freakin’ awesome.

3. i will then post the images on the broke207 flickr page for all to see and enjoy & comment on.

4. on the 31st of the month, i (and possibly a few trusted advisors) will choose the winner, and a great celebration will occur. (also, the aforementioned $25 gift card will be mailed)

i know this requires a little more effort than most blog giveaways, but i think it could be a really fascinating project. a project that i would like to keep ongoing. so please, get your photo on and show me what you got! enter as many times as you like.

add it up.

i’ve found them in hotel bar couch cushions, underneath potato chip racks, chipped them out of the ice with a ball-point pen, and rescued them from laundromat lint trays.  i’ve scanned sidewalks and check-out lanes from portland to jonesport (and all stops in between- and a few below), and dodged sideways glances from people who either thought i was a complete weirdo, or were jealous they didn’t get to it first.  all in all there were:

885 pennies

56 nickels

177 dimes

51 quarters

8 pieces of paper money (2 twenties, 1 five, & 5 ones)

1 golden dollar

*i also found 9 canadian pennies, 2 chuck e. cheese tokens, 1 boston subway token, and a few other assorted pieces of undefinable foreign currency.

for a grand total of $93.10. that’s roughly $.25 a day. not bad.

which means that cassie– with your guess of $89.50 (the closest without going over), you are the winner! woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot! good times.

p.s. extra props to the boyfriend who counted and cataloged every last penny of it on his day off.

party on contest winner!

the shamwow vince new year’s giveaway has officially ended, and we have a winner! a hearty congratulations to michelle f. who guessed 277- a mere 11 away (without going over) from 288-the actual number of times shamwow, vince, slap chop, or hooker were googled to get to my website. as promised, she will be taking home the sweet sweet burt’s bees giftbag.

i would also like to thank all of you who participated in my first decent giveaway! i will be having another one start up in a couple of weeks, where you will be guessing the amount of change in my found money jar – so keep those guessing muscles limber. perhaps buy playing a lot of guess who? while listening to the guess who. or whatever does it for you. mazel tov michelle!

i try it!- the game of life.

it’s happened! the game of life is finally here! i love sweepstakey crap, so i am all over this shit. actually, it reminds me a lot of the mcdonald’s monopoly game that i used to love (before i became a vegetarian and i found out that they spray their french fries with beef tallow– bummer).

it’s really very basic. every time you go to rite aid, you get these game pieces which you stick on the game board (get that from your checkout person if you don’t have one yet) to complete little pictures of products that apparently have nothing to do with the prize that you win. simple! also with your prize collection stickers, you get coupons or instant win prizes. i got a $.25/1of planters nuts coupon and an instant win for 2 more game pieces. woot! i also got both pieces of the cruise ship which apparently entitles me to enter into a drawing for a carnival cruise. the caveat: i actually have to stick my pieces to an index card and mail them in. what is this, 1948? i’ll do it (for science), but just for the record, i think it’s totally stupid.

i’ll be planning out my rite aid deals tonight so i can score some more game pieces tomorrow. so far i’m pretty excited, but i still have a host of unanswered questions:

1. will the checkers at my sketchy rite-aid remember to check the receipt and give me the appropriate amount of game pieces? (that seems like a weird choice to me )

2. will it be awkward for me to ask for them?

3. how long until they run out of pieces?

only time will tell. more to report tomorrow after my lunch break.