that awkward moment…

… when you realize that your ex husband is the most attractive prospect on an online dating site.

let’s just be clear here. i’m not ready to date.

it’s only been about a month now, and the ex and i are still sharing the same space (and to his credit, he is the most kind and agreeable person i have ever broken up with).  i need to focus my efforts on things like moving, working, breathing, and cuddling my dog. i need to not be an idiot and jump into anything before i’ve had a chance to regroup and recover- at least a little. you know, common sense… blah blah blah, good advice… yadda yadda yadda…

BUT.

the sensible path sorta sucks. it’s lonely. and painful. and sad. so you start to try to make the breakup, the newfound single status (set carefully to your facebook for all to casually notice), more appealing than it really is. you dream of the possibilities. you start to remember everyone you’ve ever had a crush on and stalk them to determine current availability (just in case) (for later):

what the F is birchbox?

anyone who has read the weekend pickthrough in the last few months knows that i have an undeniable crush on the hairpin.  what can i say, it’s a sassy online lady magazine that boasts such hardhitting articles as “how to make a doll into a wine glass in 23 quick steps“, and “9 things to name your oregon trail family“.  it’s true love.

well, a few weeks ago, i stumbled across this fine piece of journalism regarding a beauty sample subscription service called birchbox. you give them $10 a month, and they send you a very sexy (and i mean that packing is CRAZY FINE) box of hand picked samples designed to give you a big giant beauty boner.

in my package, i received the following:

juice beauty- green apple peel
archipelago- pomegranate soap
kerastase- reconstructive shampoo & a packet of something called “topseal” that i don’t entirely understand
ahava- mineral body lotion
jouer- tinted lip enhancer (i think it makes them puffy & glossy)

theoretically, you’re supposed to love the samples so much, that you go onto the birchbox website, and buy full sized versions of the products. and here is where i think we will part ways.

i’m not a fancy beauty product lady. there are 1,000,001 things that i feel like spending $50 dollars on, and fancy lip gloss and lotion are not included in that number. sure, $10 for samples of all the fancy stuff is perfect for me, so i can play without the financial impact.  but i’m never going to spend $25 on anything with the word “plumper” in the title, i’m just not.

selfishly however, i want their endeavor to succeed because i think it’s cool and i want more samples. therefore, if you are a beauty junkie, this is a really fun way to test drive all the newest smelly hair stuff technology before you buy. plus, the stunning little box you get in the mail makes it feel like motherfucking xmas.