spending too little on too much.

it was a spendy-ass sunday. took a little jaunt back to my hometown of augusta for brunch at the senator inn (a childhood fav that still holds up!), and a little light antiquing that turned into an entire day of shopping the town inside out. i got some pretty good deals that seemed necessary at the time… but seeing it all lined up at the end of the day (and added up), i start to wonder how much of my bargain shopping is really a bargain. i’m paying less for everything, but i’m buying more than ever.

shaw’s: 4 big G cereals @ $12.86 with $6 off when you buy 4 plus $4.40 worth of coupons ($.55/1 doubled from coupons.com) final cost= $2.46 for 4 boxes.

target: the liberty of london collection is on super sale at the augusta target and i snagged an adorable nightie for $8.98. there’s also a ton of zac posen stuff, but it’s not marked down enough for me to bother. give it another few weeks… i might have to go back to augusta and snag me a cocktail dress. i also found a mysteriously unblemished pair of striped espadrilles for $4.26 marked “AS IS”. their identical counterparts were just feet away in the full retail section for $16.99… maybe they’re going to explode in low speed collisions? i’ll keep you apprised if any defects should arise. lastly, i found a few boxes of puffs tissues with vicks vapo-rub in them (which i love but haven’t been able to find ANYWHERE- discontinued?) for $1.38 a box, and sacrificed 2 of my $.50/1 vocalpoint coupons. target total= an eerie $15.00 even.

big lots: to my credit, i did put back one movie and a $6 box of diet granola bars. but a $3 copy of funny face?! i have a list of movies on my iphone that i’m looking to buy. the problem being, that my price point for DVD buying is $5 of less, usually less. today i encountered 3 of those titles in the $3 bin. is there really anything else at big lots that’s even worth looking at? funny face, art school confidential, & confetti= $9.00.

goodwill: i used to own and love this jacket in another size that i am not officially too fat to wear. lo and behold, here it is at goodwill in brunswick for $4.99! oh wait, is that a yellow barb? make that $2.49!

cvs: i had $14 worth of extrabucks expiring tomorrow, and this evening was my only chance to cash in.  with the gillette proglide razors already sold out, i had to improvise a bit and use a few more extrabucks than i otherwise would have preferred. i ended up with a bunch or random crap (most of which will get donated), but it felt like a good haul considering the circumstances:

2 john frieda root awakening shampoos @$5 each with $3 ECB back when you buy $10 + $5/2 coupon= $2
2 right guard total defense deodorants $4.49/ea. on BOGO + $3/2 coupon from coupons.com= $1.50
1 covergirl wetslicks amaze-mint @ $4.99 with $3 ECB back, and $1/1 coupon= $.99
1 colgate proclinical toothpaste @ $3.99 with $2 back in ECB, and a $1/1 coupon= $.99
2 gillette bodywash @ $8 with $8 back in ECB and a $4/2 coupon= +$4 ECBs (the flier said limit 1, but it turned out to be limit 2!)
total OOP= $17.47 (paid $17 in ECBs + .$.47 in cash plus tax), received $16 ECBs

total spent this weekend (for all above pictured goods, not actually counting meals, groceries for the week, and a ridiculous failed dinner party that will never speak of again)= $29.42 of stuff that i didn’t actually need. on one hand, i could have spent a whole lot more on a multi-store shopping binge, and gotten a whole lot less. on the other hand, is spending $30 on anything that i don’t need really a bargain? it might be time to put the debit card away for a while and think about what i’ve done.

weekend pickthrough- sleepless demon dog edition

fuck you dogsitting. i won’t give you all the grisly play by play, but let’s just say that day one of watching my boyfriend’s parents dog is NOT going according to plan. cliff’s notes version- i woke up on the couch at 6:45 (after a solid 3ish hours of sleep), and spent my morning getting dragged around town sniffing every pee puddle in town (view inset of demon dog sniffing sketchy street futon), and writing thank you notes to my neighbors for not calling the cops on us after the 2 am barkfest. FUCK.

but anyway,  i’m a ridiculous mess, and it’s all i could do all day to remain seated upright in my chair for 8 hours.  so sorry, the pickthrough this week is bit late and a bit (completely) all over the place.

uh oh, maybe trader joes move to portland is more sinster than we thought?

one girl. one year. one dress. one of the most brilliant projects i’ve ever seen.

this guy spends all day staring out the window to monument square and oogling the crazies, so you don’t have to.

finally, a comprehensive volume on the history/socio-economic impact of poop.

i’m not proud of my negative net worth, but i don’t think it’s healthy to be obsessed with it. living in your parent’s house? at 30? in a twin bed? i’ll take debt thank you.

the most amazing childhood toy you never had. (or if you did, i want to punch you)

seriously, who has a livejournal anymore? although… if you’re going to have a livejournal about something, it better be about all things creamed, chipped, and suspended in jello.

sassy, amazing, touching, brilliant. everyone, meet the irreverent widow.

a good christian’s guide to stripping.

vegans & vegetarians, arm yourselves! it’s time for some defensive omnivore BINGO!

hipsters beware! you’ll never know it’s happening until the transformation is complete.

DIYikes.

i like to think that i’m pretty handy. i can cook, sew, take on minor home repairs, write a kick ass resume, open jars, list all my US presidents in order in under 20 seconds… i’m completely capable of doing a myriad of assorted tasks, both in and out of the home. taking into account these skills and combining with my cheap/broke factor, one might assume that i’m a DIY junky. surprisingly, one would be wrong. very wrong.

i’d like to make something abundantly clear here today: DIY projects are only a good deal/idea if  you actually have the skill to execute them on the same level as a professional. sure, it might be slightly cheaper in the moment, but  is a few bucks worth the heartbreak and shame (and often additional cost of having the mistake professionally fixed) that often come with a botched DIY job? i think not:

1. prom dresses. prom dresses these days are stupid expensive, so it may seem like a perfectly reasonable idea to cut a few corners and make one yourself. your daughter may even be excited about the prospect of designing her own gown. DON’T DO IT. unless you’re a tailor (in which case be my guest), formal wear sewing is exceedingly difficult to do in a way that doesn’t scream “my mom doesn’t sew that well!”. even if you are a tailor, for the love of god, give your teen limited input on the creation. teenagers have bad taste, and are often trying to slut things up with glitter and inappropriate cutouts.  but seriously, just save yourself a lot of time (you’ll be up all night the night before the prom guaranteed) and heartbreak, and take your child to the g-d mall. someday you’ll both be glad that she wasn’t humiliated by your sub-par sewing skills, and that she didn’t attend the prom looking like a day shift stripper or solid gold dancer.

2. salon services. hey, did you know that you have to be licensed to work in the beauty industry? i wonder why that is? the excessive amount of home beauty systems available at the drug store would lead us to believe that we as unlicensed individuals are capable of doing everything from hair coloring to bikini waxing at home as well as any paid professional. why would we waste the money? well, if you don’t mind having orange highlights or a mangled moustache area, be my guest.  the quality of salon products is higher, and surprise! they know how to do it right. i speak from experience! i personally have given myself (on multiple occasions) something that looked like bloody crotch hickeys trying to wax my own bikini area. i have also had big brown splotchy patches of hair for several months when i got drunk in college and decided to become a blonde. admittedly, factoring out the alcohol will help, but not that much. also on the list of at-home personal care “must avoids”: anything you would usually have done at a plastic surgeon’s office (injectibles!), self tanner, and of course, home vajazzling.

3. home repair. that’s right, you are devaluing your home with every single hatchet jobbed home improvement project you attempt. once again, home repair professionals are also licensed for a reason. they’re also expensive for a reason: quality home improvement is both difficult and time consuming. if you’ve never laid tile before, chances aret that it’s more difficult to get those lines nice and flush than you might think (especially if you’re using an assortment of bargain basement tiles). we got a great deal on our condo partially because it was filled to the roof with badly installed (and completely inappropriate) tile, lazy paint jobs, and highly questionable electrical configurations (lucky for us, the boyfriend’s dad is a LICENSED electrician).

4. gifts. oooh. nothing guarantees a fast track ticket to the goodwill like a crappy home made gift. i’m not talking about adorably lopsided hand turkeys and xmas ornaments from children, we love those! nor am i talking about beautifully hand knit sweaters, stunning quilts, or incredible baked goods from friends and family that have the skills. the key word here is SKILLS. if you are not the creative type, please don’t think that you can just whip something up with stencils and craft paint that someone is going to cherish for a lifetime. more likely than not, it’s going to cause an awkward moment or two before they hide it in the back of their cupboard just long enough for it to be socially acceptable form them throw it away. some classic non-nos:

wine glasses with crap poorly painted on them.
smelly candles with seashells trapped in them (or worse).
anything that involved you glue gunning something to something else.

seriously, people hate this shit.

in summation, put that sawzall down, scoop up your dignity, and put that money back into the economy where it belongs by supporting yourself some trained professionals and local businesses. there are a million different ways to save money, but trust me, using your own unskilled labor isn’t one of them.

baking day of doom- now with less doom!

well, the month of january has come to a close, as has my first official baking day month. it started out as kind of a clusterfuck, and after the vegan pulled pork disaster and the missing pizza dough, i wan’t entirely convinced that this was a lifestyle that i could happily lead. but once my portions were neatly stacked in the freezer, and i was able to steal back the little portion of my day usually reserved for food preparation, things started to feel a little less hopeless and a little more sexy. not perfect indeed, but i did learn a few very important things:

1. unthawed veggie shepherds pie takes 2 hours @ 450 to cook. if i intend to do this again, i really need to learn to thaw things out overnight, for the sake of both my stomach and my electric bill.

2. if frank’s red hot wing sauce can make my vegan pulled pork (screw you and your crappy recipe vegetarian times!) edible, then it may very well have other essential curative properties. we should look into that.

3. just because a recipe says that it serves 8, doesn’t mean that it actually does (maybe if everyone is served dinner in an egg cup).

4. this is the most delicious thing i’ve had in ages.

5. as it turns out, my faux chicken & biscuits recipe gets really bland in the freezer (who knew!). luckily, copious amounts of shredded parmesean cheese & red chile flakes (combined with my macgyveresqe culinary skills) turned it into my best batch ever.

6. i eat out way too much. just because the meals are pretty much oven ready, doesn’t mean that i won’t still find ways to be lazy about it.

7. i can make a little less. after everything, i still have 1 portion left of lasagna roll-ups, spaghetti sauce, veggie chile, sausage gravy, & mushroom gravy. although it is comforting to know that i have back up food in case of emergency.

8. trying to make my own pizza dough is a terrible idea.

9. a little dessert would have been really nice.

10. i felt extremely guilty about the ziploc & aluminum toss factor that came heavily into play this month (even if it made my freezer look real pretty). it might be nice for me to invest in some freezable (and reusable) glass baking dishes.

so yes, i’m doing it again. sunday is the day (with a hearty & coupon laden grocery shop on saturday). here’s the master plot:

2-3 portions of vegetarian meatballs
2 faux chicken pot pies
2 veggie shepherd’s pies (the biggest hit of the month)
2 double batches cheesey broccoli & potato soup
2 double batches sausage gravy
1 batch spicy green chile corn muffins
2 enchilada pies
3 batches bisquick biscuits
2 portions orange curry faux chicken & rice
1 batch cookie dough in frozen single portions (i’m thinking maybe oatmeal/walnut/chocolate chip)
1 batch chocolate lava cupcakes (if i can just choose the right recipe!)