welcome to purge-atory. (part 2)

the ever mounting "TOSS" pile.

purge weekend certainly did not unfold completely as planned. whereas my paperwork stash did make significant gains (via significant losses), i mostly succeeded in moving things from one shelf to another, and squinting a lot at my shelves while attempting to determine exactly how i wanted things to look. i did scrape off a good chunk from the living room bookcase (which has been notoriously overrun with crap since day one), much of which actually ended in the donate pile (see inset).

i also nearly broke all of my bones falling off the counter… which i was standing on in socks (socks are slippery) to clean out my kitchen cabinets. but did find yet a few more things that can go (if anyone wants a popsicle mold shaped like rocket ships, you might want to hit the forest ave. goodwill this week).  it was probably worth the almost shattered pelvis.

after that though, things kind of unraveled. i was off to old port fest for fried mushrooms and panic attacks (WHERE DO ALL THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?), and then accidentally ended up having beers for 6 hours with some very smart and chatty friends. needless to say, when i stumbled home around 11:30, i was in no mood finish putting my toys away.

still, some positive things have still emerged from this somewhat wrecky purge weekend:

1. laura at fore front fashion has graciously offered to show me the ways of fashion minimalism. (can you say closet gutting session?)

2. the boyfriend actually did keep his promise and got all of his shit out of the living room.

3. 2 loads of trash and goodwill donations have already left the house, with the promise of more to come over the coming week.

4. i used my hangover as an excuse to eat cheesy pazzo bread for breakfast.

the gears are turning

still recovering from the very nutcracker into xmas shitstorm, but yesterday’s snowstorm provided something of a rest and regroup. well, except for the part where i had to take my dog out to pee in the insanity. as it turns out, kazuki LOVES the snow. me, not so much. but anyway, before i go ahead and do another full on rant about bad gift giving (obviously a serious pet peeve of mine) and broken polar bears… here are a few interesting bits and pieces that have floated to the surface in the last week or two:

i’ve done a lot of crazy shit this year. thus, i thought it would befit 2011 if i kicked it off with something equally nuts. on february 12th, i’ll be hurling my pale and fragile body into the icy waters of casco bay for charity. if you wanna help me out, this polar bear will give you the details (it’s a PDF, but i promise it’s safe to download!).

i went straight from the makeup project directly into nutcracker madness, and i don’t know if anyone noticed the wrap up that i did on the update page. the short version is that it was very well received. with lots of help, i managed to throw it together in less than a month (which was all kinds of incredible), but i’d love to get started RIGHT NOW for next year. nothing organized yet, just planting the seeds. so if you have an opportunity to score free makeup or other teen-friends stuff this year in your coupon travels… you know what to do.

i know, 2 donation requests in one post is kind of hardcore… but don’t say i never gave you anything:

the ikea bus is fueling up! i talked about it many moons ago, but the wheels are finally turning (pun intended). the portland daily sun even wrote an article about it (no turning back now!) come april (tentatively the 23rd), there will be approximately 50 spots on the bus (which i am assured will have the capacity for an in-flight movie). i was hoping to keep it under $25 a person round trip- but it looks like if we up it to $28-$30, we can also rent a uhaul so that people can buy big ass furniture (mattresses! couches!) and not worry. and considering that a round trip to boston on greyhound is like $40… and ours will come with snacks and even possibly in-town furniture delivery…  i still think it’s a pretty good deal. i have started an email list, so either go to the ikea bus page, or send me an email and i will add you. no commitment, just updates on progress, prices, and dates.

finally, i’m working on a super secret project with some local fashion bloggers that i think you’re all really going to like. obviously, it’s super secret, so i don’t have a lot of information to give… but hopefully soon i’ll be able to explode the details all over your face. i promise, you’re gonna love it.

shaking the bell.

so a while ago when i first discovered ulta, i mentioned that i was working on a super secret makeup related project that i would eventually tell you about. well, that day has finally come.

a really really long time ago, i had scored a bunch of freebie cosmetics with extrabucks that i didn’t know what to do with, and i wrote a post about donating makeup (or trying to unsuccessfully). when i called my favorite local charity to see what their stance was on the topic, they mentioned that they didn’t have a huge call for cosmetics, but that the teen girls go nuts for it. anyway, as the xmas/generically inoffensive holiday season started to approach, i started to think a about how all the programs are like “TOYS FOR TOTS” and such. it seems that people don’t seem to get the same warm holiday fuzzies getting gifts for older kids as they do for the grade school set, and how much does that suck?  anyway, it occurred to me that i could be stockpiling my free makeup, and then assemble little kits to donate around xmas time.

well, as of today, i have a pretty good hoard, but i still have some sizable gaps. i spoke with preble street yesterday, and they have 50 girls that their teen center services, and they want the finished product by december 9th! THAT’S 2 WEEKS!! so here is the part where i ask for your help. i am aiming to put together 25 kits (apparently they have a little gift mini mall and let the kids pick out what they want). if any of you other crazy coupon ladies out there have a makeup stash that is just taking up space, or you don’t give a shit about coupons but you just want to help out… here is your chance! i am looking for donations of the following items:

get your cake on!

i don’t remember a single kid in my entire elementary school that had a peanut allergy. maybe bees (epi pens look so fucking cool when you’re 7), but not peanuts- and certainly not gluten. as a matter of fact, i lived the majority of my adult life not really even knowing what gluten is, or that people even could be allergic to it. but there it is. all of the sudden, everybody and their grandma has celiac disease or is gluten intolerant… where there were once no food allergies or sensitivities, now even walmart has a gluten free department. wacky.

i hate to conjecture as to why there has been this apparent spike in food allergies and conditions (pesticides? medications? evolutionary failure?), because it will just make me want to enclose myself in a plastic bubble (and not the sexy jake gyllenhaal kind, the creepy john travolta kind). but the fact is that gluten allergy/intolerance is a new reality that many have to deal with every day, and it totally sucks.

i fucking love gluten.  i can tear through a bread basket in the blink of an eye (no seriously, if you ever go out to dinner with me- DON’T BLINK if you have any interest in pre-show bread), so my heart goes out (way out) for anyone who can’t enjoy the glory that is starchy, glutenous goodness. that said, there are a growing number of products out on the market dedicated to our gluten repellent friends that are actually quite tasty. for example, i’m a big fan of the lucy’s brand cookies (specifically the sugar cookies). what i’m learning, is that gluten free baked goods can be totally kick ass, as long as they’re done well. unfortunately, this doesn’t always happen.

to add another layer of suck, gluten free shit is FUCKING EXPENSIVE. can you imagine having to spend $6 every time you wanted to buy hamburger buns? so basically, there’s not much you can eat, and what you can eat is ludicrously pricey. and then what about things like birthdays and holidays? maybe you can get some gluten free  mix or something from the whole foods, but it’s not hardly the same as having someone make you real cake or cookies from scratch.

therein lies the subject of our blog post/love letter today. cakeface contacted me about a week ago about doing a review of their startup gluten free bakery business.  now, i get contacted semi-regularly to review things on my blog, and i don’t always say yes.  what appealed to me about cakeface is the fact that they’re local, they’re vegan, and that i would get to eat cupcakes. sold! i headed on over to their website and ordered half a dozen peanut butter cupcakes, 3 blueberry scones, and 3 chocolate chip scones. the goods were delivered to my office promptly the next afternoon (they deliver to a good chunk of the southern maine area).

reason #1 to love cakeface– the people who own it are some of the best people you will ever meet. jj does the baking, simon handles the business end, and they are both ridiculously nice, charming, and completely genuine. i kind of want them to be my new best friends.  basically, you can rest assured that your cupcakes will not be made by assholes.

i decided to share the scones with the people in my office, and hoard the cupcakes for myself (well, and possibly the boyfriend).  everybody snarfed theirs down in record time, and the only complaint by one of my coworkers was “not sweet enough”.

reason #2 to love cakeface- they make smart food. as far as i’m concerned, people who who like their food overly sweetened have stupid tongues. too much high fructose corn syrup and processed snack cakes have made them unable to appreciate any flavor above and beyond twinkie level sugar shock. it’s tragic. i thought they were the best scones that i’d ever eaten (they are so not paying me for this in cupcakes or otherwise, i just thought they were kick ass scones). moist but not soggy, not too sweet, and with just a tiny bit of salty in there to make things more interesting. similarly, the cupcakes had a nice flavor balance (mildly sweet and nutty), were the perfect moist but not oily texture, and had exactly the right amount of jj’s killer peanut butter frosting (just ask the boyfriend who shoved down 3 of them in a sitting).

cakeface simon and i actually had a funny conversation today about how too much frosting can destroy a perfect cupcake experience. too much frosting for me is a clear sign that the cake portion of a cupcake can’t stand on its own. it’s showboating. excess frosting is full of lies.

reason #3 to love cakeface- they’re unpretentious. food that tastes good doesn’t need 4 inches of buttercream and a fondant daisy to make it worth eating.  my cakeface treats came neatly packed in a brown bag, simply presented, without a ganache floret in sight. oh, and they also threw in a  totally adorable bumper sticker, just because.

ok, so we’ve covered their charmingness, their taste goodingness, and their lack of showboatingness… all excellent and necessary qualities in a bakery. but what’s the bottom line on all this deliciousness?

reason #4 to love cakeface- you can afford them. i’m a girl who has (and will again) paid upwards of $5 for a single cupcake, and you might expect a company like cakeface that uses pricey ingredients like hazelnut flour and vegan sugar to be in the upper ranges of the cupcake market. not so! starting at $1.50 a cupcake, $1 a scone, and $.50 a cookie (less if you order more), you’d be lucky to get some gas station hydrox for the same price.

ok, before this lovefest carries on for too long, let me just say one thing- i know hardcore product/ pimping is not my general modus operandi, but when really good people are doing something admirable and worthwhile (and delicious)… i think they deserve a little shout out.  along with throwing down an order of your own (what’s on their order page is just a starting point- give them a call for everything from birthday cakes to alternative scone flavors), if you want to help support cakeface’s future development (they’re working on a second set of dedicated cookware so that they can also offer nut-free treats), you can also donate to their kickstarter account to help assure that their venture gets started with a real chance. after all, it’s always the right time to get your cake on.

now what the hell do i do with it?

perhaps you’ve heard me spout off before about how i refuse to buy anything that  i either don’t use, or that can’t be donated. the scary truth is that you can technically “donate” anything by ditching it at an unattended donation center, or camouflaging the rogue goods in with other more useful items, but i don’t play that way. my concept of donation-worthy means that the product being donated can actually be used by cause it is being donated to. for example, i’m pretty sure there isn’t a cause that exists that needs lee press on nails. thus, i don’t buy them.

anyway, blood glucose monitors had always been on my “no buy” list, but this week i’m reevaluating that stance after reading this kick ass article on couponsdealsandmore. it really made me think about all the other things on my list that might be more donate-able than i give them credit for. air fresheners? nope. box haircolor? still nope. diet pills? NEVER! make-up? maybe.

i’m a pretty low maintenance girl, and what products i do use,  i’m fiercely brand-loyal. however, there are usually tons of great drugstore deals on cosmetics every week, and every week i pass them by.  maybe it’s time to reconsider.  i did a little bit of research today, and was able to come up with a few ways that your unopened lipstick stash (be it from couponing or impulse buying) can find a good home.

1. my first call was to the preble street resource center. although they don’t list cosmetics on their in-kind donation list, they will most definitely accept them. i spoke with the (very nice and extremely helpful) head of their in-kind donations program, and she said that they don’t get a lot of that sort of thing, but that they do go over well both at the women’s shelter and teen center. that said, they don’t exactly need a dumptruck of eyeliner to show up at their doors, but unopened cosmetics included with other in-kind approved products are most certainly welcome.

2. my next stop was the southern maine branch of dress for success. a very cool program that promotes  economic independence of disadvantaged women by providing professional attire and career development, they do accept donations of unopened cosmetics.  Unfortunately at the moment (due to the small size of their current facility), they have had to put a halt  on accepting donations of any items (including cosmetics), except the following:

-women’s winter dress coats/lined raincoats in all sizes
-women’s professional clothing ONLY in sizes 16 and up
-new knee highs and trouser socks
-shoes that are new or barely worn in sizes 8 and up

they will update their website when they are able to accept more items, but in the meantime- go dig through your closet, or load up on knee-highs the next time you’re at rite aid!

3. in my googling travels, i also came across this pretty cool new jersey based organization called cosmetics for a cause. if nothing else, maybe we can send our donations in the mail?

all in all, it looks like there aren’t a ton of cosmetic donation opportunities, but maybe more than you thought (certainly more than i thought). if you can’t find an opportunity that works in your area, you can always use your good old fashioned yankee ingenuity and make one of your own. maybe there’s a local community theater that could use some new make-up, a broke friend who needs to throw a kick-ass sweet 16 party, or you could just sell it on ebay or craigslist and donate the money to whoever you like. as tim gunn would say, make it work!

although as a side note, you might want to leave the day-glo clown-whore make-up at the cvs. try to go for things that are professional, clean looking, and appropriate for all ages.