to the boy with the blue haired girlfriend.

like much of america, i spent my president’s day honoring our founding fathers with my credit card. george washington is totally going to love my new pencil skirt (H&M was having a BOGO on all sale items). but my purchases, shockingly, are not the central focus of this post.

while at the forever21 (i know i’m probably too old to shop there, but i fundamentally don’t give a shit and they had a lot of really cute work blouses for under $20), i saw this young girl cruise by- boyfriend in tow. this is a pretty unremarkable thing at the mall, since it’s pretty much wall to wall teenagers (enough to give me a massive panic attack at the delia’s). but in the vast field of skinny jeans and ankle boots, messy ponytails and graphic Ts, this girl was a standout. bright blue hair in braids, and this enormous home made bow perched on top of her head that looked like she ripped it off a samantha doll circa 1992.

and there was her adorable boyfriend. trailing behind, happily bobbing through the cacophony of racks, fluorescent lighting, and pushy high schoolers.

and i looked at that ill advised bow. and i looked at that boy. and i realized that i needed to send a thank you note to every boy that i ever dated from age 14 to about 25.

surprise attack.

a few months ago (at the big thaw actually), i had a heinous allergic reaction that caused my feet and legs to be covered in enormous, swollen, itchy hives (see inset). it was a pretty sexy look, but i figured i’d take  a brief jaunt to the emergency room, just in case.

unfortunately, my hives went away while i was sitting on the gurney in my very flattering hospital johnny. actually, one of the hot doctors (for some reason the maine med ER docs are always super sexy) actually uttered the phrase “wow, i’m watching the hives disappear in front of my eyes”. at which point like 3 more doctors came in, asked me all the same questions, and then they told me to go home and take a benadryl.

helpful.

about a month later, i was pleasantly surprised to get a bill from maine med for a mere $0 for my visit. way to go insurance!

FALSE ALARM.

friday, i got a replacement bill for $362.

fuck.

as you might remember, i was just scraping by last month. and i made it work. i ate dinner at home and had $3 beers! i didn’t have to dip into my saving’s account to pay my bills! but things are still tight. i just can’t afford a big chunk of change like that right now and have any chance of catching up with my finances.

i have a feeling that these kinds of bills (unexpected expenses!) are the kinds of bills that really get people in trouble.  i have certainly been more than guilty of putting off paying a medical bill for as long as i possibly can (usually until they send me the letter telling me it’s about to go into collections), even when it’s only like $8. but unlike that situation, this isn’t the kind of circumstance where i can pay it off indiana jones style at the last minute. i don’t have $362 extra dollars now, and i probably won’t anytime soon.

so what now?

the financial walk of shame.

every year, various outlets compile lists of companies that they think won’t last out the next year.  in a way it’s sort of interesting, but it’s also exceptionally depressing. whether a mark of the lousy economy, or just the evolution of popular technology (i mourn your impending death eastman kodak!), it’s kind of like watching the dinosaurs die out right in front of your eyes, and not be able to stop it.

last week, the borders company sent out this letter to their customers, letting them know that shit was going down (chapter 11), but that everything was still essentially “ok”. except that it’s not ok. with tons of stores closing all over america (our maine locations are safe for now!), it’s hard to have faith that a little reorganization (whatever that means) can fix what’s broken. the chapter 11 email of shame is almost always a last spasm before death.

but more than the sadness over the loss of yet another US business, i feel empathy for the man who had to write that letter. the first time i got laid off when i was 22, i had to call my mom and beg for money for food and rent. she actually turned me down (a story for another day), but that phone call was excruciating. admitting to your loved ones that you’ve gotten yourself into financial trouble is one of the most embarrassing and complicated situations that a person can be in. can you imagine having to make that call to an entire country?  having your financial missteps broadcast and analyzed by the wall street journal?

so with that, 2 questions:

1. what dinosaur store/brand/company will you be saddest to see die out?

2. have you ever had to do the financial walk of shame?