the september issue.

if you’ve ever been a reader of fashion magazines, you know that the september issue is notoriously huge (usually about 2 inches thick). one would think that its increased bulk is due solely to the coverage of the fall collections, but one would be wrong. sure, maybe fashion week coverage adds a few pages here and there, but far more than half of the 758 pages in this year’s september issue are ads, ads, and oh- isn’t that some more ads over there?

now, these ads are usually for all sorts of high and brands- your standards chanels, and guccis and marc jacobs types… nothing remarkable (actually, they all tend to look exactly the same to me, you would think they would try harder). however, this year, i noticed and interesting trend. in addition to the standard fancy pantsness, there was a disproportionately large amount of ads for more pedestrian (discount even!) chains trying to keep up with the couture.

lots and lots of celebrity designed lines (karadashians for sears? oh lord!), but also just a general attempt to show that dowdy department stores are at least trying a little bit more than usual to keep up in the contemporary fashion marketplace. edgy ad campaigns! more modern shapes!

well, i ripped all the ads out, and decided that i would do a shopping tour of this supposedly affordable high end design. i am most excited for lagerfeld for macys, and french connection for sears, but my initial inspiration came from the very charming (most especially amongst the satin draped airbrushed bone racks that the rest of the ads were schilling) “money can’t buy style” campaign by kmart.

well, it just so happened that was going to augusta this week, where resides one of the last remaining kmarts in maine. also, it is my hometown.

worth the trip- the black album (with a plaid b-side).

i feel like it was just halloween. how exactly is it thanksgiving already? now, thanksgiving means a lot of things to me- pie, defending my vegetarianism against people who think it is a personal attack, pie, rolling my eyes at football, pie, and most of all… BLACK FRIDAY.

to many, getting up at the pre-crack of dawn in order to shiver outside in the icy icy weather in a line of other assholes who also think that this is a good idea does not seem like a privilege. i know it seems wrong on a number of levels, but i can’t stop myself. i’m not even buying any xmas presents. i’m not even trying to score big ticket items at crazy low prices. i just really love a hot bargain, and have designs on expanding my chick flick collection for less than $2 a dvd.

now traditionally, one gets the thanksgiving paper and weeds through the ads while digesting their  gravy coated food baby after dinner (sort of like half time before the pie round). but since this is the internet age, and we’re all a big fucking pack of cheaters, there are multiple websites offering up all the black friday deal fliers days before anyone has to stick their hands into a frozen turkey and pull out the “giblet sack” (and people question my vegetarianism?).

i love black-friday. net, but it really doesn’t make a fucking difference if you go there or to blackfriday.info or even blackfriday.com. the point is that i’ve been planning my black friday shopping strategy for DAYS. here is my present  ACTION PLAN:

already reduced.

took a brief jaunt to the maine mall this afternoon, and it is not looking good over there.  as much as i’m enjoying the sales, never in my 32 years of life do i remember seeing so much stuff marked down to so little. not that it stopped me from picking up a cashmere sweater for $11 @ the gap (marked down from $98)…. but it was sort of sad, and made me wonder if the mall really has the razzmatazz to make it through this depress…i mean downturn.  on the upside, it appears that there’s some pretty kick ass sales going on this weekend:

the gap has racks and racks of good looking merch knocked down to $15 or less. I saw sweaters & tops for $5-$8. plus, you get an extra 25% off if you use your gap card.

ann taylor loft has a decent selection of moderately reduced sale goods including some cute jeans and dresses for $15-$40, and (for an indeterminate time) they appear to be offering an additional 50%.

express is a little euro-trash for my taste, but they have a ton of sale stuff right now, and i believe that they are also taking an additional 40% off sale prices.

macy’s as usual has racks and racks and racks of clothes marked down from 40-75% off (they even had some cute things in the teen ho section- i swear!).

victoria’s secret seems to be having a lite version of their semi-annual sale, with $2.99 underpants and $15ish bras.

if you’re in the market for running shoes, the sports authority has a ton of high end brands for %50 off. or if you’re looking to stock up, olympia sports is running a buy one get one 1/2 off deal on almost all of their athletic shoes.

forever 21 as usual has a whole room dedicated to crazy markdowns- although no more remarkable than usual, you can still get some pretty sexy stuff for under $10.

as previously stated, it was a brief jaunt, so i didn’t get a chance to go in everywhere. but it does appear that if you’re needing some mid-winter clothes, now is most certainly the time to hit the mall. makes a girl wonder, even if/once the economy does rebound- how long will it take consumers before they’re willing to pay full price again?

i try it- cheap tights.

although you wouldn’t have know it the last couple of days, it’s coming up on winter here in maine, and the 30ish temps are here to stay. as the universe does not appear to make pants that fit me, i’ve always been a skirt girl, and in the wintertime, that means tights. tights are great- they suck your stomach in, cover up your spider veins, keep you warm, and come in amazing colors and patterns… but DAMN! are they pricey.  even at target and walmart they’re in the $5 range for one pair. OUTRAGEOUS! especially because the usually run or snag IMMEDIATELY (admittedly, higher quality tights are less likely to do this- but who can afford that shit?), making them a roughly disposable item. for a girl that wears a pair of tights almost every day in fall/winter, it adds up quick.

anyhow, this weekend i came across a sweet sweet discovery by the register at the local forever21 (NH had one before we did- THE SHAME!)- 3 pairs of black tights for $4.50! at $1.50 a pair, i can almost afford to throw them away (almost). i test drove my first pair today at work, and my feelings were mixed:

1. as everything at forever21, they run small. if you’re under 5’7″ and under 150 lbs, i’m sure they’d be great. at 5′ 7″ and 165, they were a little bit snug and a little bit short. i managed to squeeze into them ok, although i did have to intermittently yank them up when no one was looking.

2. microfiber tights are amazing in terms of stretchiness and ability to snap back to their original shape. these are by far not microfiber. they’re not terribly stretchy, and i have a feeling that they may not snap back entirely after washing (baggy knees). we shall see.

3. the weave is a little stripey & irregular when pulled tight. not distractingly so, but they look like what they are- cheap tights.

verdict: well, they made it through the day with no runs. the fit wasn’t great, and i’ve certainly had better looking tights… but they were most definitely presentable. for $1.50 a pair, i don’t think i’m going to do better. i’d love to afford better tights, but the reality is that i can’t.