know when to fold em.

kenny rogers wasn’t foolin’ (and he still isn’t).  even though i’m only $234 into my $250 experiment (and six days short of the full month), after the weekend’s foxwoods trip, i’ve decided that it’s time for gambling month to come to an end. not that foxwoods wasn’t amazing, because it was (and always is)- as evidenced by the photographs on my flickr site (i can’t believe i didn’t take more pictures!) of light up lucite statues, fiberglass fish, and abandoned buffet-line polident.

blame it on the recycled air and dried up eyeballs. blame it on the fact that i won $130 immediately from a slot machine ($10 into the night), and then proceeded to blow through my remaining $90 in record time with nothing to show. blame it on the 1.5 hour wait in the buffet line next to a smashmouth cover band. blame it on the fact that i need new running shoes, and that i am tired of spending my money on worthless pieces of paper.  whatever it is… after foxwoods, i just sort of snapped. the excitement had officially worn off.

i’m sure for some richy rich high rollers out there, gambling is about the excitement and the power and making your dick feel huge. but for low earning jerks like me, gambling is about hope. hope for a life without debt or money worries. or maybe hope for a mansion or a jet ski or house boy (or perhaps all three).  hope for stuff that we might never get, no matter how hard we work.

after allowing myself to get sucked into the vortex of big dreams and fast spending for a month, what i learned is that the odds will always be better if i put my money down on achievable dreams that don’t require too much luck. not that i think i need to aim low, but there is a level of realism that does need to be maintained. medical school- yes! paying off my credit card debt- yes! a full set of diamond teeth- no!

it was definitely fun for a while, and worth doing 100% (but just this once). but next time i get the urge to buy scratch tickets or powerball, i think i’m going to just stuff $3 in my piggy bank and be done with it. my biggest dream right now is to be debt free- and that ain’t gonna happen if i keep flushing my money down the fantasy toilet.

final totals:

money spent on scratch tickets: $55
money won on scratch tickets: $33

money spent on powerball: $4
money won on powerball: $0 (i matched ONE NUMBER total on all 4 games- fuck you easy pick!)

money spent onine gambling: $25
money won online gambling: $0

money spent at bingo: $50
money won playing bingo: $0

money spent at foxwoods: $100
money won at foxwoods: $130 (i squirreled it away in my bra for the rest of the weekend so i wouldn’t lose/spend it.)

total spent: $234
total won: $163
total defecit: -$71

we’ll be right back.

so sorry for the radio silence! i brought my laptop to foxwoods with full intention of writing my post immediately upon my return to the hotel. well, right after I rolled around naked in my winnings. unfortunately, i didn’t plan on an almost 2 hour wait in the buffet line, or how shriveled up and hung over i would feel after 6 hours in a windowless canned-air environment with a bunch of chain smokers. by 1 a.m. i was exhausted, bloated with starch (note to self, casino buffets are NOT for vegetarians), and my eyeballs were so dried out i could barely see. thus, no saturday post. profound apologies. i am headed north as we speak (writing this post on my iphone- so don’t judge the spelling mistakes too harshly), and will give the full account of both my casino adventure, and friday night bingo blowout in sopo. in the meantime, please enjoy this snapshot from my evening.

p.s. no pressure, but if you had been following my twitter, you could have seen me waiting in the buffet line IN REAL TIME, and you’d know already whether i won or lost.

let the gambling begin.

as i stated last week, i’m going to be gambing it up this month to prove to myself that gambling is not really a viable source of income.  in theory, i already know this. regardless, i repeatedly buy scratch tickets and pump quarters into slot machines because somehow i want to believe that i could be the lucky one.  hey, at least i have a  foolishly optimistic side.  also, i won’t lie- i think it will be fun to give myself permission to be hopeful and reckless. you know, for science. recklessness aside, there will be parameters.

first and foremost, the amount of money i allow myself for this little adventure, and how i spend it:

total amount allotted for the month: $250

amount to be spent weekly on scratch ticktets & powerball: $20

amount to be spent on weekend field trip to foxwoods: $100

amount to be spent on mini adventures in the world of bingo & internet gambling, etc.: $70

actually, if anyone knows of something fun that i could gamble on, let me know. (anything but animal racing- it’s just not an industry i feel good about about supporting).

for my first trick, i will buy 10 $1 scratch tickets of the same variety. i always wondered if people had more luck that way- rather than buying 10 different games. the truth will be revealed later this evening!

the basement lab.

maybe i’m a masochist and i’m just not fully aware of it, but i really enjoy experimenting on my life.  and not just in a “i love trying new things that might be fun” kind of way. more like a “i love trying new things that have high potential for disaster and terror but that might end up being a funny story” kind of way. recently, that uncontrollable impulse has developed into a master plan for this blog. starting next month, i am going to spend each month of 2010 exploring an element of debt, finance, saving, spending, and money in general. it took me 32 years to develop these bad habits, and i think that shaking things up a little might help me gain a new perspective.

unlike a lot of coupon/personal finance blogs out there, i’m not debt free. i don’t have the answers. i fall off the wagon almost every day. in no way am i trying to get people to live like me (what a mess!). more than anything, i’m sharing my own extremely off-road journey to financial responsibility, knowing full well that i may never get there. but hoping that maybe if we stumble around in the dark together for a while, eventually, we’ll figure something out.

but on to the good stuff! here is what i have planned so far for financial adventures. please note- these are not all just exercises in frugality, they are designed to help me explore money from every dimension- socially, morally… the whole shebang.

february- gambling. this month, i’m going to press my luck and see how viable various forms of gambling are in terms of making money. yeah, i know the odds are against me. yeah, i know that gambling can be addictive. but i’m curious, and foolhardy, and want to try it first hand. i have decided on fixed amount (check back in february for the big reveal), and will be investigating everything from scratch tickets, to bingo halls, to online gambling (can you say weekend trip to foxwoods?) big money! no whammies!

march- $1000 challenge. at various points in my life, i’ve had to find money quickly (remember that time i got fired from my $10/hour temp job with $7 in my bank account?), and have had varying levels of success. in march, i’m going to see what i can do to raise myself a little capital in just 31 days.  the goal is $1000. odd jobs, etsy, ebay, bake sale… whatever. as long as it’s not completely demoralizing (moderately demoralizing is ok), or completely illegal, i’m game.

april- all cash. how do people live without credit cards? checks? i try to figure it out when i spend the month of april on an all-cash diet.

well, that’s three months… i’ve got a few more ideas percolating, but i could definitely use a few more. want to see me do something crazy, now’s your chance!