bring on the hooker shoes: a product review.

so one of the various perks (or is it a curse) of being a blogger, is that sometimes i get asked to review things.  companies send me free shit in exchange for a review, and sometimes i actually even write one. like today!

usually, i product test things that are either edible (debatable in some cases), or that i can easily smear on my face/body during my morning routine. so when i got these dr. scholls for her high heel inserts (from my current favorite blog-swag provider, bzzagent), i wasn’t quite sure what to do.  i actually own a lot of high heels, so that wasn’t the problem. but tragically, i just don’t have many opportunities to actually wear them.  on account of the whole not driving thing, i tend to be perpetually in flats- except for the odd “special occasion” (which are pretty rare in my universe).

anyway, i was supposed to test these puppies out, but no high-heel bearing days presented themselves (stacey london would be so ashamed). so i did what any dedicated product tester would do- i decided to do my laundry in a pair of four inch hot pink patent peep toes that i hadn’t worn since my ill fated wedding back in 2007.  that’s right, i tottered around my bedroom & basement in hot pink heels and my laundry day sweatpants for 3 hours (i did allow short safety breaks when carrying large quantities of laundry down flights of stairs. like hell i’m gonna break both my legs for a pair of $12 insoles).

here is what i learned during my very scientific testing process.

shaking the mystery box.

sometimes, i apply for so many freebies and shit online, that i completely forget what i’ve applied for. in the last few weeks, i’ve had not one but THREE  mystery boxes show up on my porch with a WTF, and then subsequent OMG upon opening them. i’ve gotten some really kick ass stuff in the last month… and now i’m gonna tell you about it:

weekend pickthrough- mail call showdown edition.

this has been a good couple of weeks for free stuff in the mail. between the soy milk and the cleaning stuff, i also applied for some samples online, which showed up this week. i realized after i wrote that post last week about product testing sites, i had completely left out free sample sites! you may not get full sized products, but i am a sucker for tiny scale models of real products, and they almost always come with a pretty decent value coupon.

this week, i got two sample deliveries- one from target, and one from proctor & gamble (evil i know, but FREE STUFF!). when i originally saw the post for the target beauty bag on my favorite freebie website, i thought it might be a phishing scam. so much awesome stuff for free! my bag arrived a mere one week later.

though not packed with the same goods pictured (where’s my full sized sally hansen nail enamel?), still had some pretty hot shit inside (full sized neutrogena lip balm!). also, it came packaged in the most adorable tiny makeup bag known to man, and had $25 worth of target beauty coupons. and you know what that means… STACKING!! i was blown away.

then, i got my p&g brandsaver… and there was blowing alright, just not the good kind. one tiny sample and two tiny coupons? i hear these stories about people getting all sorts of crazy awesome shit from p&g, but i have never gotten anything good. this was better than the time they sent me a single metamucil packet in a huge box, but not much.

sadly, the target beauty bag is already sold out, but i would recommend finding yourself a freebie listing service so that you have a chance of getting in on the action next time around. i also follow deal seeking pros like hip2save on twitter, who usually have first knowledge of the good shit.

but since you’re probably still really jealous about not getting the beauty bag, here are some links to ease your pain:

lactose intolerant.

well, for a few days at least. those crazy cats over at bzzagent sent me free silk soymilk coupons under the condition that i give up milk for 10 days (like it’s some sort of challenge or something). not one to back away from a challenge (especially one that involves me getting free stuff), i decided that i’m not only giving up milk for 10 days, i’m giving  all dairy.

i have sort of a cheese and butter problem to start with, even though my personal ethics would really love for me to be a vegan. i thought this would be a good way for me to test the dairy free waters, without any major commitments or expectations. although i already spent over $100 on dairy free groceries that i am convinced will help me make it through the tough times that i assume to be ahead. what i’ve learned so far:

weekend pickthrough- surprising free stuff edition.

so a while back, i got one of those really sweet amazon free magazine deals, and i got a subscription to marie claire magazine. obviously not a terribly remarkable event, but it would be the catalyst for me getting a UPS package full of crazy free stuff last week, so listen up.

so, by subscribing to their magazine, i got the “privlige” of winding up on the marie claire email list- most of which i deleted and ignored. except one.

“join the marie claire style council”

it was really unclear exactly what the job involved (and still is), but i heard the magic word “free stuff, and decided to fill out the survey. and then, congratulations! the next survey. and then one more survey after that. and then, i had to make a video. 2 minutes about how fashionable and articulate i am. i had a month to get the job done, and i had all these lofty plans about scripting and star wipes… but somehow i ended up waiting until 3 am the night before the videos were due, and did the whole thing on my laptop web cam in bad light in my sweatpants. i was an ugly, styleless, babbling mess, and i assumed that it would mark my end journey toward hot fashion magazine swag.

not so!

a few weeks after the video disaster (so humiliating that even in my general shamelessness, i refuse to put it up on you tube for the world to scrutinize), i got an email telling me that i had been selected for a telephone interview. weird. another 10 minutes of crazy babbling and manic giggles, apparently i impressed my (very patient) interviewer with my knowledge of some more obscure labels (at least that heinous fashion job i had for 2 years was good for something!). i was in! although i’m still not entirely sure what that means. all i do know is that they sent me a sweet package full of random free stuff just to say hello. fancy kitchen spray, some sorta novel, tote bag…

on an partially related note, i also go a weird email from a local marketing firm about product testing out some new flavors of baileys coffee creamer for national coffee day! although national coffee day is 9/29, and i still haven’t gotten my samples yet, so maybe they changed their mind. regardless, people are at least considering sending me free stuff, and i like it.

oh, and here’s some random weekend pickthrough stuff. i had a busy week, so it’s less than impressive, but those hipster dinosaurs make it ok.

this volcano used to have integrity (and other sentiments from hipster dinosaurs).

a big list of things that you think are true, but totally aren’t. (i’m a little crushed that george washington carver didn’t actually invent peanut butter)

i completely forgot that there were movies at the PMA, and october there are some pretty kick ass selection. mark your calendar for october 29th- damnationlad. 7 short horror films from maine directors. apparently, it’s “the way life should bleed”.

just so we all don’t have to have any embarrassing showgirls style faux pas, somebody finally made a resource to help us clueless jerks figure out how to pronounce fashion designer’s names.

kind of a gross article that involves the most hilarious star wars gag i’ve heard in a long time.

calling all single ladies! the classiest craigslist personal ad ever. (jump on this shit now before it disappears!)