weekend pickthrough- greetings from moose mountain edition.

vacation is awesome! well, except for the part where i’m horribly bloated from starchy diner food and my neck hurts because my motor lodge pillows are too firm. but hey, i’m far away in a beautiful place (moosehead!) with nothing to do but sleep, snack, read trashy novels, horribly fail at NYT crosswords, and spend 5 hours straight catching up on this season of project runway. bliss. anyway, my wireless connection is spotty at best, and i’ll possibly be doing some vacationy stuff like riding on boats, hiking up mountains, and getting terrible sunburns, so i’ll be in and out this week. however, i will not forget you! i have every intention of posting on my regular schedule, although i’m sure the content will be tainted with my carb drunkenness, regular drunkenness, sun stroke, sea sickness, and the kind of apathy for work that can only come with 5 hours in bed with a danielle steel novel. just sayin, i warned you.

p.s. yes, there is a store here where you can get blowup sex dolls AND regional jams & jellies. incongruity FTW!

overheard in the office was one of the very few things that kept me from stabbing everyone at my last horrible office job. now, we can eavesdrop on our whole city. nice work overheard in portland!

another charming entry into the maine blog scene! if this chick can make buying toilet paper interesting, we’re bound to be in for pretty decent ride. although i could teach her a few things about getting her TP double extra cheap (work those coupons!).

just in case you didn’t hear me bragging about it constantly this week… the portland phoenix knows who i am! i didn’t make the best blogs list, but they are aware of my existence. next stop, world domination.

the single most seizure inducing web design (if you can call it that) that ever existed. although frankly, i think that the waving santa gif really brings it all together. maybe i need one? (via @mdesjardins)

this makes me so angry!

it starts in filenes basement, and then it spreads to your soul.

why can’t my crazy gramma have a fuck buddy?

buffy AND battlestar alums? the syfy channel knows what i like.

hot in the city

when last you saw me, i was fleeing the shopaholics boutique in shame. BIG thank you btw to everyone who called that guy a douchebag and told me that they wouldn’t shop there! your support warms my black little heart. but onward… i still had like 20 minutes to burn before my dinner date, but needed to get my scorned ass out of there immediately. it just so happens that several of my sexiest lady friends were performing some burlesque at the recent sanctuary tattoo 10th anniversary party, and i thought it would be fun to get them saucy little good luck presents of some sort (which actually didn’t end up happening, but i did try!). but where does a girl go for saucy goods in this town that doesn’t also employ jizz moppers (i’m talking to you video expo) or carry bong parts (you too treasure chest)? the answer is nomia.

tucked up on the 2nd floor above a comfortable shoe store, you likely didn’t even know it was there (unless you’re in the habit of taking poorly lit stairways into the unknown).  but you should, because nomia is a super amazing woman-owned shop with a femme-centric approach porno and sex toys.  it’s white-glove clean, flatteringly lit, and laid out like a charming local bookstore- with the exception of the fact that the only genre is erotic. sure there are strap-ons and lube displays aplenty, but it’s very private (thus it’s 2nd floor location with no easily peepable windows), has women-only hours, and just feels comfortable, safe, and like a nice place to browse for all things rubber and vibrating. plus, they know what they’re talking about. there isn’t a question out there that will make them blush, and they’ve got resources and recommendations up yaz (pun intended).

i will spare both my mom and the other people who read my blog and actually have to look me in the eyes on occasion the details of what exactly i did or didn’t buy, but it’s irrelevant anyway. after my unceremonious dismissal from shopaholics boutique, it was so amazing to walk into a store that was warm, inviting, and cared about my needs. where the person behind the counter was more than happy to engage in a conversation with me, answer my questions, and even looked online for something i had asked about but they didn’t carry. and you know, i left that store with $22 worth of stuff i didn’t actually need (although i do firmly believe that good sex is an excellent investment), feeling good about my purchases and good about myself. my previous shame and anger had been equalized by good customer service. who knew? nomia FTW.