i try it!- danger in the kitchen laboratory.

if this blog post had a subheading, it would read: why leaving it to the professionals is sometimes the right thing to do.

so, during the SWAPmaine event a few weeks ago, the lovely keriann of mainely mara, turned me on to the starbucks black iced tea lemonade. HOLY CRAP. new heights of refreshing-ness! since that time, i think of drinking nothing else.

i’m not a coffee drinker, so the amount of time i spend at starbucks (which is inconveniently located multiple blocks from both my home & work) has always been fairly minimal. however, since SWAP day, i have been making any possible excuse to scoot my ass down to exchange street, all for the privilege of paying like $4 for something that tends to take me roughly 10 minutes to consume.

YET I CAN’T STOP.

the crack like pleasure that it affords me, appears to make the $4 surcharge fully worthwhile.

but $4 is expensive, and the $15 giftcard i had left over from xmas lasted almost about as long as it takes me to drink one of these fuckers. so in the spirit of practicality (starbucks is far) and frugality (starbucks is expensive), i decided that i would just gather the ingredients to make this mystical beverage, and assemble it myself in the kitchen lab. just think of all the dollars i would save!

HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

as it turns out, REAL HARD.

the plastic files.

first and foremost, i would like to apologize for not posting yesterday. i am still getting the hang of the daily posting gig, and also drank one too many bourbons after a particularly rough day and ended up face down on the couch at 8:30 instead of  writing my post. i repent. also, i am hungover as hell today- so my body is repenting too. but on to the promised content!

so i am very proud to say that a year has come and gone, and i have not used my credit cards even once. i did have to borrow money from the boyfriend on a couple of occasions, and i did certainly have more than a few months of barely scraping by (including and especially this one), but it still feels like progress to me. am i delusional? is learning to control my finances a gradual evolution, or should i have figured my shit out by now? i worry that it’s like being an alcoholic, where i either need to quit cold turkey or never get better…

as usual, i still have dreams and hopes of getting a tighter grip on my money and finally making a bigger dent in my debt this year. i’m still way behind from xmas and more other random unexpected shit (burst pipe!), but i’ve started a new habit to help defray at least a little of any future emergency money madness: i have become a gift card hoarder.

usually after xmas, i take any gift cards i might have and rush my little ass to the mall and spend spend spend…  but this year i promised myself that i would hold on to them for a bit and see what happened.  i have also amassed a few more from rebates and online surveys (i’ve had great luck with these guys), and my cache is looking quite tidy (see above). here’s my master plan:

happy boxing day!

today is boxing day in various nations around the world. today is also a different kind of boxing day right here in the USA. today is the day that people haul home their xmas loads, grab a big cardboard box, and start sorting out the shit that they’re going to drop off at the goodwill ASAP. (a friend of mine brings 2 bags to her in-law’s house- one for stuff to bring home, one to ditch at the goodwill on her way home).

for example, my boyfriend’s parents have a large extended family. and even though trying to celebrate everyone for xmas is expensive and extremely inconvenient, several family members refuse to give up the tradition. unfortunately, it’s not the family members with large disposable incomes or most intimate insights into their wants and interests doing the gift giving. mostly it’s distant and out of touch (often with reality) relatives without much to spare in the gift giving budget. now, as a person who writes a budget blog, i am certainly not one to poo poo an inexpensive gift. however, any gift not given with care is likely to end up discard bin, and the only thing you’ve really given your friends and relatives is the task of writing an awkward thank you note that won’t reveal the fact that your gift is already donation fodder.

so to you coworkers, extended family, in-laws, acquaintences… my gift to you this year is a cautionary tale of three ceramic polar bears:

ode on a target endcap.

target is my natural habitat- inexpensive, well lit, good merchandising… but i’ve never quite managed to score the big bargains in a way that felt worth the effort. maybe it’s because i can’t walk to the target- and thus i only go there once every couple of weeks. or maybe it’s because all the really awesome deals get cleaned out super fast at the south portland store. or maybe it’s a combination of the two. whatever it is, despite my undying  love/lust for target, i’ve never really felt successful in deal mongering there- until last weekend. i don’t now what happened, but something snapped in my little brain and i think i finally figured out what i was doing wrong. here’s the secret formula:

1. arm yourself. first off, understand that every target in the universe is different. regardless of how well you prepare yourself with careful circular study and deal website stalking, what gets reduced at one store might not be reduced at another, or be reduced to a different price, or not exist at all. clearance items are wild cards that crop up and disappear suddenly like a game of discount whack-a-mole. timing is paramount, and you wouldn’t want to accidentally stumble into an amazing deal without your arsenal (because it definitely won’t be there when you come back later). basically, if you’re headed anywhere within a 15 mile radius of a target (admit it! they have a have a strong and mysterious pull), pack your damn coupon folder. and don’t forget to hit up coupons.com & the target website to shake down the best printable action. you’ll often find target-centric coupons that can be stacked with manufacturer coupons for double your pleasure (um, i mean savings).

2. stalk the endcaps. going to target with me is always an hour+ proposition (sorry boyfriend!). i generally weave my way through the clearance clothing racks (my fashion lifeline), past the $4.75 dvd shelf, and then on through beauty, eventually ending in foodstuffs. but whatever your target takedown pattern, make sure to veer off the main concourse and hit the back end of the display shelves- this is where they stow all the crap that they’re trying to get rid of (you know, the good stuff). pretty much every department in the store has  a clearance area, and they’re all worth checking out. from toys to tampons, get ready to bring on the markdowns! sure, it starts with a paltry 15% off, but over time those sexy red stickers will start piling up and piling up, and your once $5.49 facial scrub will eventually dive down to $1.36. careful now, it’s time to strike.

3. load up on gift cards. a ton of the really great target deal scenarios also result in a $5 gift card. hoard the hell out of these! you can also often get free target cards from credit card points and paid survey sites. point being, target is givin it away like a drunk chick on girls gone wild, so grab grab grab while you can can can. the only thing better than finding a great product on sale for a few pennies, is being able to pay those few pennies with zero bank account impact. $5 gift cards may not seem all that hot, but if you’re doing it right ( the coupon goddess can squeeze the bejeezus out of a target deal like no other), that $5 can last you a shockingly long time.

i still may not necessarily be able to come home with a trunk full of toilet wands like the pros, but this weekend, my target stars aligned in a way that i found very satisfying:

pantene hair spray: regular price- $3.79, marked down to $1.61. using a $1/1 from the P&G brandsaver= $.61

listerine whitening mouth rinse: regular price- $3.99, marked down to $1.98. using a $1/1 printed from coupons.com= $.98

better crocker warm delights minis (these bitches are TASTE-TEE and only have 150 calories each): regular price- $1.89, marked down to 1$1.07 with a $.75/1 coupon from coupons.com= $.32 each (i got 4)

eggo waffles: on sale for $1.75, there’s a $1/1 target printable on coupons.com that brought them down to $.75 each (i got two)

la croix sparkling water 8 packs: regular price- $2.50, there’s a sweet $1.25/1 printable on coupons.com that made them them $1.25 each (i got two)

total price tag for the goods: $5.37. not huge bragging rights, but i feel like i’m just getting warmed up. definitely putting target on the weekly circuit, i think we might have a future together.