weekend pickthrough- fatty resurrection edition.

what, i didn’t even manage to pull out the weekend pickthrough during the actual weekend? even after i promised that i would try harder? yeah, on the surface, it looks right now like i suck pretty hard (and it’s true, i probably do). BUT, what i did do this weekend instead of writing the pickthrough was to resurrect an old corpse i had lying around the house (just in time for halloween)- my old diet blog being bess marvin.  since i am again attempting to take off the 30 divorce (and subsequent lazy-ass cheese whore) pounds, it seemed like a good idea to resuscitate ole bess, as it is a proven fact that people who write down what they eat lose more weight. now, i won’t be boring you with the details of my daily meals (unless i happen to eat something really extraordinary), but imagine how many pounds i can lose talking about blowing the crotch out of my spanx!

i can’t promise you that i will lose any weight, but i can promise you this:

1. grisly and detailed recountings of my frequent dietary failures.

2. i will continue to catalog every time that nancy drew took a cheap shot at bess marvin’s weight (that bitch!).

3. i will kick this shit off with a giveaway. ok, it’s a little bit lame- but it is free candy, a big boxy t-shirt, and a diet journal to write about how ashamed you are for eating all your candy in one sitting.  but if you want the goods, you do have to go over to being bess marvin and leave me a comment about the food that throws you off the diet wagon with both hands. or, if you’re some smug bitch who has a healthy relationship with food, you can write about that too.

if you made it this far and have actually noticed that i didn’t technically have anything to pick through this week, i apologize. maybe you could just toddle over to youtube and watch this a few times. it should pretty much make you forget your irritation, and just about anything else you have on your mind. 35 million people can’t be wrong.

don’t make me beg.

seriously, don’t make me do it. is it really so hard to take a blurry cameraphone photo of your favorite thrift store find and email it to me? is it really so hard to take the $25 gift card prize and go buy more awesome stuff? i’ve received a few more entries to the goodwill giveaway madness contest (as indicated by the AMAZING salty pete lamp in the upper right corner over there that takes you to the contest gallery), but it’s NOT ENOUGH! it’s flea market and garage sale season, so get your asses out there and do it. for example, i hit the montsweag today, and scored the very amazing crazy 60s airplane crossection picture at the left. and don’t be fooled by the pricetag, i only paid $10 for it.  you probably could have talked them down further… but i guess you don’t care about free money AND ultimate victory.  just in case you change your mind, i’m accepting entries until the 31st.

go go gadget contest gallery.

in case you were wondering when i would get my ass in gear and put up the first round of photos from this month’s goodwill giveaway… the time is now. that’s right, as of exactly 1:19 am tonight while watching “sorority boys” and drinking tequila, the gallery is finally fully functional (and semi-permanenty located in the upper right hand corner of this website).  good times. however, though high in awesomeness, the entries are still looking very SCANT. that’s where you come in. it doesn’t have to be an amazing photo (you know about my love for crappy iphone photos), and it doesn’t have to be a recent purchase. seriously, NO PRESSURE! i’ll even pimp your website right there in the gallery. come on, you know you want to! so get your ass out there, and GET THRIFTING!

gelatin free giveaway!

here we go. myblogspark sweetly (and quickly) set me up with a secondary non-gelatin laden giveaway after the great bathrobe meltdown of 2010. kind thanks to them for providing me with something i feel good about pimping.  i present to you: free stuff from jolly green giant. apparently, they’ve been gearing up for a promotion with the nature conservancy and have been tooting their own green horn (heh) about the progress they’ve made toward more sustainable farming over the course of their century-long existence.

here is what they had to say about what they’ve been doing to make a difference:

reducing the amount of land and water needed to grow vegetables.

packing vegetables in smaller, lighter cans, so it takes less fuel to deliver them to supermarket shelves.

utilizing traditional seed breeding methods over the last 35 years to double the amount of sweet corn grown on an acre of land.

teaming up with growers to install a more efficient irrigation system that can reduce water use by more than a million gallons a year.

switching to more earth-friendly paperboard to package frozen vegetables, saving approximately 54,000 trees annually in the process.

well, i wasn’t really sure what to make about all those high and mighty claims. so, i decided to consult my friend michelle, who is one of the most environmentally conscious and sustainability minded people i know. here is what she had to say:

“I definitely get suspicious whenever big companies like this make environmental claims, but I also don’t want to criticize them for trying. Most of the steps they are taking are self-serving… getting more production/acre, increased water efficiency, etc. But I trust the Nature Conservancy’s judgment in who they choose to team up with. I don’t have a problem with genetically modified crops- they decrease the need for land, water and fertilizer so it’s a trade off.”

and the survey says… PASSABLE! i’m totally with michelle on this one. not everyone (especially big companies)  is ready, willing, or able to make big environmentally impactful changes. even if they’re only doing it because it’s fashionable to be green right now, changes are changes no matter how small. also, the nature conservancy is a kick ass cause, so it’s nice to know that they’ll be getting 200 Gs out of the deal.

but regardless of your feelings about sustainable farming, how about some free stuff? looks like there’s a reusable shopping bag (a little imagination green giant please!), a tiny grow-your-own herb garden, some bamboo utensils, and a coupon for free veggies. all expressed mailed to your house in a perfect brown box that will make you squee and feel important.

i’m feeling uncreative today, so i think in order to enter, i would like you to leave a comment about what you plan to do with your free vegetables (or other swag, whatever does it for you). for example: “i’m thinking about making a green bean casserole, but in reality i will probably just let them migrate to the back of my freezer until a time of dinner desperation.”

step #1: leave stupid comment about vegetables. (the quality of your comment will not affect your chances of winning).

step #2: wait until contest ends on april 30th.

step #3: at said contest end, i will then pick an entry at random to be the winner (i hear random.org is good, but a hat might be easier to operate).

step #4: wait for me to announce the winner within 24 hours of the end of the contest.

step #5: be excited about winning or depressed about losing.

oh, and p.s. jolly green giant via myblogspark gave me the same free stuff that you might be getting, just in case you were concerned about my opinion being colored by swag. as you can see, it’s not. i can also say that there is a significant likelihood that they will not ask me to do another sponsored giveaway after this…

weekend pickthrough- lazy saturday edition.

i declare the mermaid pants hangover officially cured. admittedly, it took 12 hours of sleep, 2 netflix movies, $30 worth of indian food, and 4 new pairs of shoes… but i’m finally starting to feel normal again. well, as normal as i ever do. again, apologies for the lack of content this week. i even blew off the weekend picktrhough on friday, which is traditionally the easiest piece for me to write, because i don’t really actually have to write anything. however, due to lots of work at work and lack of sleep, my time for link hoarding was dramatically cut down. so today, i hoard for you on the fly (which i’m sure will be crazy-town), and give you promises that i’ll try harder next week.

bad tony visits maine. set your tivos! (and apparently simply divine brownies are going to be on unwrapped too)

not that i needed any help gaining the freshman 15, but this information would have been incredibly valuable when i was in college.

some quiet reflections on last week’s topless protest. why is it that when maine gets in the national news, it’s always about tits?

who wants to take the subway with me to acadia? i’ll meet you on the blue line at thunder hole.

ice-t  always knows exactly what to say.

i kind of hate this guy because he’s cute and has more subscribers than i do, but he did teach me how to make money by selling wine corks.

i can’t even keep a cactus alive, so what chance do you think i have of growing a successful salsa garden?

if you still want a whack at that free bathrobe, money saving maine-iac has what you want.

everything you might have missed about the recent portland POTUS visit.

weekend pickthrough- stale peeps edition.

i won’t eat them, but i can certainly still enjoy a good peeps show.

how dare they present this as a comprehensive list of venn diagrams, when they’ve omitted the king of them all?

some interesting ideas about coupons and class. (via the portland penny pincher)

in honor of our recent visit from the POTUS, a little lesson in teabonics.

is it possible for couponing to go…TOO FAR? (outrageous!)

videoport jones may be unmasked, but he still has good things to say.

finally! a budget style magazine that is actually stylish (sorry all you, but your wal*mart pedigree REALLY SHOWS).

it is the meaning of life after all, 42 lessons from frugal bloggers.

ohmygod it’s a going out of business sale! what do i do?

finally, after much deliberation, i’ve decided not to host the gelatin yogurt giveaway. i was going to give away the robe, but then i heard about this. sorry suckas! seriously though, the company has graciously offered me another giveaway that is both environmentally responsible and entirely meat free (and not too lame according to the pcitures). details forthcoming.

p.s. look to your right. you might notice a new sidebar item over there. even though they don’t have anything to do with brokeness, they have everything to do with 207. i present for your pleasure a list of my favorite local blogs (of all varieties). did i miss any?

and now for something completely different.

i tire of moral dilemma week. i had a whole post half written about something vaguely instructional and semi serious, but then i realized that i don’t give a shit about being instructional and semi serious. at least today i don’t. instead, i speak of a subject far more engaging and less of a bummer, the mall. over the last 10 years, maine has been overrun with big boxes. wal*marts, targets, old navys, and best buys are springing up all over the landscape, along with the requisite gamestops, panera breads, and famous footwears that for whatever reason ALWAYS orbit around the larger stores. i think it’s weird and gross how all the towns in maine worthy of the big box blessing now look all the same. although on the other hand, i do love target.

what’s really weird, is that now that all these smaller towns in maine have their own shopping districts, nobody needs the mall. in the last 5 years or so, the maine mall has been CLEANED OUT. filenes got booted by macy’s, but the space is still empty. countless other stores have bounced in and out, changed locations, disappeared forever. the urban behavior has gone out of business and been resurrected no less than 5 times (i think that bankruptcy is their business model). the sears wing is deadsville (despite their urging, i never have quite found the softer side), especially since unattractive but very sensible shoe emporium lamey wellehan cleared out. even mcdonald’s is hitting the bricks for some mysterious reason.  i did hear a rumor that we were getting a sephora, but the flowering of the maine mall into the mall of america (that i’ve been fantasizing about ever since the H&M moved in) just isn’t happening. it’s the downturn y’all. the way people shop is changing, and it’s kind of amazing.

case and point, the new goodwill. usually, when you cut off the head of one big box, another one just sprouts right back in its place. when circuit city’s broke ass shut down last year, i don’t think anyone thought that a thrift store would or could move into that massive space complete with sky high mall area rents. but goodwill made it happen (even if their bath and st. john street locations had to be tragically sacrificed), and the results are glorious.

are you looking at that line up of gleaming hooker boots over there in the upper left? i know one person who can’t wait to see those bitches sprouting up around town. in short, the new goodwill is fucking gigantic, and presently filled with both stuff and people. the book section looks like a bookstore. a decent bookstore (although you will still find the required copies of divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood). the racks are endless. it was hard to really take it all in because it was opening weekend, and the place was crazy mobbed like black friday, but i did manage to get a few representative snaps on the ole iphone (check em out on my flickr). when i was a kid, it was shameful to buy second hand. now, it’s almost shameful not to. i like that.

and because i like that so much, i’m going to start holding a monthly goodwill oriented giveaway. i’ll give the details in a more official way in a few days, but for now, ransack your closets shelves and cupboards, and try to find the best thing you ever bought at goodwill. you’re gonna need that.

life on the ground.

as of february 11th, i will have been collecting street change for 1 full year. not pocket change (i have a separate jar for that)- sidewalk change, floor change, gutter change, snowbank change… abandoned money, dropped accidentally or cast aside by people who didn’t think it was worth the effort to bend over and pick it up.

when i first started this little project, i wasn’t really sure how long it would entertain me. and at first i felt extremely awkward about people seeing me picking up dirty pennies on the street (i tried to be so slick about it at first). and then i found $20 in front of the porno store on congress street, and all my awkwardness faded away (now i’m completely shameless about it). what i learned this year is that A) nobody is really paying attention anyway, and B) there is REAL MONEY on the ground. i found not one but TWO twenties this year. 5 ones. and 1 five. and a golden dollar coin wedged in the couch cushions at bubble maineia. that’s $51 before i ever had to pick up my first dirty penny. all left behind by their previous owners and trod on by people in too much of a hurry to look down.

did i tell you about that time i found a check for $57,000 made out to a local microbrewery? sopping on the ground in a rainstorm, i walked it back to their office and was gratefully gifted with a free case of beer (really good beer). so now we’re up to $51 and a free case of assorted microbrews.

seriously yo, change hunting is awesome.

to celebrate my first year of collecting, i am dedicating my february giveaway to the practice. everyone now knows that i have at least $51 dollars in my found money jar (pictured above). leave a comment below guessing the total amount, and win a sweet prize. here are the rules:

1. one comment per person.

2. price is right rules- the winner will be the closest without going over.

3. the game begins right now, and ends on february 15th.  the winner will be notified via email on or around the 16th, and a celebratory post in their honor will let the losers know that they’re the losers (sorry guys!).

oh, and the prize is this totally hilarious bank that looks like a giant save key (below), pre- stuffed with a crispy $20 bill. that’s right, sweet bank & twenty bucks. it could be you!  let the guessing begin!

listen to the flamingo.

he wants to give you something. apparently, by cashing in on the free grapefruit deal this weekend, i may have earned myself 2 free grapefruit spoons! woot! many thanks to fabulous reader jen (god knows how she even stumbled across this crazy ass deal in the first place), who pointed me in the right direction.

it looks like the florida grapefruit people have hired a web designer (a kind of funny girly one at that), and if you buy either a 3 lb. or greater bag of florida grapefruits OR a 54 oz. or greater container of 100% florida grapefruit juice (no cocktail!), you can mail in your receipt and get 2 pink plastic grapefruit spoons. after careful inspection, it appears that the grapefruits i picked up are from no discernible state (shawsabama?), but the ocean spray juice clearly says “florida” on the label propaganda- so im pretty sure that it applies. i generally wouldn’t bother to haul ass to the post office for something quite so trivial, but the following conditions apply:

1. i was feeling a little bummed out for getting sucked into such a mediocre deal ($5 for juice that i don’t generally buy -with no coupons!), and free spoons make it very slightly less mediocre.

2. i have a 3 lb. bag of grapefruits now, and no way to eat them. (think they’ll stay fresh for 6-8 weeks?)

3. i’m pretty sure that flamingo is giving me the sexy eye, and i think i might have  a chance with him if he sees how enthusiastic i am about florida grapefruits.

party on contest winner!

the shamwow vince new year’s giveaway has officially ended, and we have a winner! a hearty congratulations to michelle f. who guessed 277- a mere 11 away (without going over) from 288-the actual number of times shamwow, vince, slap chop, or hooker were googled to get to my website. as promised, she will be taking home the sweet sweet burt’s bees giftbag.

i would also like to thank all of you who participated in my first decent giveaway! i will be having another one start up in a couple of weeks, where you will be guessing the amount of change in my found money jar – so keep those guessing muscles limber. perhaps buy playing a lot of guess who? while listening to the guess who. or whatever does it for you. mazel tov michelle!