secret stash.

so, i wrote a post for the goodwill of northern new england blog today about my insane vintage fabric collection… but i’m not sure when it will be put up. unfortunately, my broke207 post for today is the B side to that post. and of course,  i don’t have a back up plan.

so today, you’re just gonna have to watch the outtakes of the of the movie before you actually see the feature attraction.

i’ve been watching a lot of hoarders lately, and it is SCARING THE CRAP OUT OF ME. i’m a shopper, a collector, and a lousy housekeeper. i do actually delight in throwing/giving things away, and my house is never so messy that it can’t be cleaned in an afternoon… but as a card carrying member of the OCD club, i worry that something traumatic could happen and all of the sudden that switch could click on in my head and *bam* i could be living in this.

its here…

yesterday, i chartered a bus. i promised that i would attempt to bring the ikea bus to portland, and i’m doing it (APRIL 23rd! MARK YOUR CALENDARS!!). however, i have a few details i need to iron out before  i can officially put tickets on sale later this week. for example, how much will tickets cost?  well, there are two possibilities:

1. $22 ticket where people are allowed to bring home only as much as will fit in the 7′ X 8′ under-bus compartments.

2. $30 ticket where i rent a supplemental U-haul box truck so that people can get couches and mattresses and shit.

i’m inclined to go smaller scale for the maiden voyage, but i also am scared that if people can’t bring back whatever they want, nobody will come! ok, i am scared in general that nobody will come, but i can cancel and get my deposit back 15 days before the event… so the risk isn’t too high. still scary though.

anyway, i’m trying to gauge what ikea bus riders might prefer- lower prices or greater capacity, so i rigged up this little poll to help sort it all out:

cranky pants: an ethical conundrum.

surprise! i’m a fucking wreck this week.  the balls to the wall schedule, the stress (MUST LEARN TO TAP DANCE!), the poor diet (toast and hersehy kisses again?), the lack of sleep… i suck hard right now, and there’s no denying it. i’ve even been cranky with my poor dog (who has been attempting to eat his own poop lately,but still doesn’t deserve the ‘tude)!

unfortunately, my intense level of crank got spit out into the universe this week in kind of a crazy way.  i sent an EXTREMELY BITCHY email to a company that at the time I felt had seriously wronged me. and then i regretted it. and then i didn’t regret it… and then i asked you to tell me whether or not i should regret it (i think i feel a poll coming on).

shaking the bell.

so a while ago when i first discovered ulta, i mentioned that i was working on a super secret makeup related project that i would eventually tell you about. well, that day has finally come.

a really really long time ago, i had scored a bunch of freebie cosmetics with extrabucks that i didn’t know what to do with, and i wrote a post about donating makeup (or trying to unsuccessfully). when i called my favorite local charity to see what their stance was on the topic, they mentioned that they didn’t have a huge call for cosmetics, but that the teen girls go nuts for it. anyway, as the xmas/generically inoffensive holiday season started to approach, i started to think a about how all the programs are like “TOYS FOR TOTS” and such. it seems that people don’t seem to get the same warm holiday fuzzies getting gifts for older kids as they do for the grade school set, and how much does that suck?  anyway, it occurred to me that i could be stockpiling my free makeup, and then assemble little kits to donate around xmas time.

well, as of today, i have a pretty good hoard, but i still have some sizable gaps. i spoke with preble street yesterday, and they have 50 girls that their teen center services, and they want the finished product by december 9th! THAT’S 2 WEEKS!! so here is the part where i ask for your help. i am aiming to put together 25 kits (apparently they have a little gift mini mall and let the kids pick out what they want). if any of you other crazy coupon ladies out there have a makeup stash that is just taking up space, or you don’t give a shit about coupons but you just want to help out… here is your chance! i am looking for donations of the following items:

a little help.

did i ever tell you about the time that i was addicted to entering online sweepstakes? for like 5 or 6 months, i spent every second of my free time entering every contest i could get my hands on. instant wins were my preference (i’m impatient), but i wasn’t really that discriminating. i would throw down for whatever, from cash prizes to year supplies of beef jerky (this was in my pre-vegetarian days). after all of my insane efforts, my bounty equaled exactly one goldfish cracker shaped coin purse, and one unflattering orange lip gloss. it was a complete and utter bust. not only did i not win anything good, i didn’t actually want either of the things i did win. sweepstakes are cruel that way. i had wasted so much time, and it wasn’t worth it, not even a little.

but then i found couponing (i’m a fickle little bitch), and i realized that not only was sweepstakes entering a pitiful waste of time, but that i could have been entering awesome giveaways on blogs and actually winning stuff the whole time. maybe there are no million dollar prizes, but you can get some pretty kickin stuff, and the odds can’t be beat (usually less than 100 entrants per contest).

so about that favor i need… as i mentioned in the weekend pickthrough, i recently entered a writing contest over at one of my very favorite sites- red head writing. i actually have no idea what the prize is, or even if there is a prize at all (but rumor has it that her last winner got a $150 gift card), but it isn’t about that. after my crushing defeat at burlesque amateur night (still writing it up, but soon!), i require the glory of ultimate victory to reinflate my flaccid ego. or maybe i just like writing and wanted to see if i could win this shit. but anyhow, the way to win is to collect more positive comments (actual comments, not just hitting the “like” button) on your piece than all of the other story tellers. i’d like to believe that random strangers will wander in and be captivated by charming little tale of nosebleeds and mojitos, but that’s looking pretty unlikely at this moment in time.  instead, it’s going to be an exercise in how many of my friends i can sweet talk into voting for me regardless of whether they like my story or not.  are you sweet talked yet?

how about now?

but seriously, i would really love it if you would toddle on over to the contest, and check it out. you don’t have to vote for me, but it would be wonderful if you would vote for the person that you like the best. a bunch of really interesting people put a lot of love into their 300 words, and they deserve to get some feedback.

and if you’re horribly annoyed that i’m even asking you to do this at all, just ignore me for today, and i promise that i will not abuse the privilege again anytime soon. (but if i do win- IN YOUR FACE!).