i can not be trusted.

remember that time when i told you about how lousy i am at transitions? well, behold! what you are looking at here in this picture is 9 pairs of shoes. 9 pairs of brand new shoes bought over the course of the last 24 hours. 5 were purchased online because they’re my favorite shoe ever, and they were on sale for $22 each at 6pm. 1 was purchased for the upcoming burlesque nutcracker (i might also need to purchase a related naughty santa costume). 1 was a practical office shoe choice. and, 2 were just sky high wedges that will look very pretty collecting dust in my closet but i felt very very compelled to buy- so i did.

9 pairs of shoes, all but 3 of which i don’t actually “need” (and we’re defining “need” here as “would be nice to have but definitely don’t actually need”). 9 pairs of shoes, all of which were purchased because the tectonic plates of my life are shifting yet again, and sparkly new feet somehow seem like the most productive way to deal with that discomfort.

it isn’t.

bring on the hooker shoes: a product review.

so one of the various perks (or is it a curse) of being a blogger, is that sometimes i get asked to review things.  companies send me free shit in exchange for a review, and sometimes i actually even write one. like today!

usually, i product test things that are either edible (debatable in some cases), or that i can easily smear on my face/body during my morning routine. so when i got these dr. scholls for her high heel inserts (from my current favorite blog-swag provider, bzzagent), i wasn’t quite sure what to do.  i actually own a lot of high heels, so that wasn’t the problem. but tragically, i just don’t have many opportunities to actually wear them.  on account of the whole not driving thing, i tend to be perpetually in flats- except for the odd “special occasion” (which are pretty rare in my universe).

anyway, i was supposed to test these puppies out, but no high-heel bearing days presented themselves (stacey london would be so ashamed). so i did what any dedicated product tester would do- i decided to do my laundry in a pair of four inch hot pink patent peep toes that i hadn’t worn since my ill fated wedding back in 2007.  that’s right, i tottered around my bedroom & basement in hot pink heels and my laundry day sweatpants for 3 hours (i did allow short safety breaks when carrying large quantities of laundry down flights of stairs. like hell i’m gonna break both my legs for a pair of $12 insoles).

here is what i learned during my very scientific testing process.