parental advisory: explicit lyrics.

right now, i’m exactly like a slowly rolling katamari of blogs. every few months or so, i pick up yet another so-and-so and the ball just keeps getting bigger and bigger. this is awesome in the way that i get to write about a variety of crazy shit (this week i get to make granola bars and test drive a puffy skirt), although less awesome in the way that nobody actually pays me. well, last month, i rolled up yet another opportunity. this time, posting my prime content on the wcsh6 portland blog.

now, reposting content should require very little work on my part. SHOULD, of course being the operative word. however, ease is an experience reserved for people who use proper capitalization and aren’t quite so liberal with the f-bombs. wcsh6 might want my content, but understandably, they want it a little less colorful and a little more family friendly. pg-13 at best.

anyway, if you ever wanted to recommend my blog to your gramma, grade school english teacher, or friends from church camp, but didn’t think they could hack the racy themes and rampant overuse of commas… this is your chance! i’ve been filing the corners off all my material so that it’s safe for children, and no longer a choking hazard for the elderly.  you can see the distilled result of my most recent effort right here. or if you think that’s balls, if nothing else you can look at both posts side by side and try to spot the differences.

mall recall.

CALLING ALL PAST AND PRESENT MAINE MALL WORKERS & LOVERS! the marvelous alex steed (who can be found everywhere all at once, but especially here, here and here) has started a facebook fan page (well, technically it’s classified as a religious organization) for maine mall alumni! the project sprung from a combination of  his own alumni pride (you may remember him lurking around the wacky t-shirt kiosk in the early 2000s), and also being utterly aghast at the fact that the BANGOR MALL HAS 1200+ FANS, and the maine mall isn’t even breaking 800… well, alex is already campaigning hard to remedy the situation, and the alumni page is busting with excitement such as:

– musings on the odd positioning of record town & tape world in the late 80s (across the hall from each other).

– angsty anti-mall rambling from bygone blogs.

– relics from our beloved mall’s past life.

so yes, if you’ve ever known the mall intimately, please head on over and friend that shit up. or like it. or fan it. or whatever the hell it is that people do on facebook.  share your tender mall moments, awkwardly reconnect with old coworkers, and start your own dialog about how the mall just hasn’t been the same since porteous disappeared.

now i never worked at the mall, but i can tell you with no hesitation that i have logged A LOT of hours in its tiled corridors. well, by tapping into my deep and abiding love  for the maine mall, alex has somehow managed to get me stuck in his swiftly rolling katamari of energy and ideas. it’s Q & A time! i’ve come up with a list of questions for all the mall workers out there past and present, and it’s your job to answer them, and elaborate, and go off topic in the most entertaining way possible (part 1 of 2):

1. What never goes on sale?

2. What is the best deal you ever saw someone score?

3. Sometimes I hide things in the store that I can’t afford to pay full retail for- in hopes that they will not be found until markdown time. Is this a viable method?

now is the time to share your insider knowledge with the world. now is the time to declare your alumni status!