the currency of villainy.

first and foremost i want to thank you all for being sweet and sticking up for me today. you all made my crappy weekend infinitely less stupid. in addition, i am definitely feeling less sick, and we were able to talk the condo roof assessment down to $3750 per unit.  although if you see my insurance adjuster, please tell her to fucking return my calls!  but enough about that.

after getting that mean comment yesterday, i’ve been thinking a lot about what the future holds for me and my identity as a blogger. at this point, i feel exceptionally lucky that i’ve only ever had 2 negative comments in the 6 month life span of my little website. but as my traffic count starts to swell (swell obviously being a  relative term), so does the possibility that people aren’t going to like what i have to say. and the truth is, i’m not that nice. the person who told me i should stick to reviewing PB&Js did so because i completely eviscerated a local restaurant. and i did so unapologetically. i’m blunt and brutal and bitchy. sometimes for comic effect, and sometimes because i’m honest and i don’t care to waste time candy coating things with a protective layer of waffling and neutrality.

unfortunately, with this inability/unwillingness to play nice, i make myself a target for naysayers. as much as there are people in the universe who would shank their own grandma to avoid a conflict, there are other people out there who would shank their own grandma to start a conflict, because picking fights gets them off. the internet is the perfect place to do this because you never have to use your real name, use your real email address, or tell anyone what restaurant you work for when you’re telling someone they’re not qualified to opine about anything higher up the food chain than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches… the internet makes people ballsier and nastier than ever with absolutely no fear of repercussion.

but is it really so bad? if i want my readership to grow, is it time for me start filing off my sharp edges? criticism feels bad right now because i’m not used to it, but a lot of people have gotten very famous being the bad guy. howard stern, rush limbaugh, gargamel, destro… being hated means that people are paying attention. being hated means that people care enough to have formed an opinion. is being merely likable compelling enough to keep people visiting every day? exactly how evil do i have to be to get more people to subscribe to my RSS?

but seriously, i don’t think i’ll be amping up or amping down my level of darkness any time in the near future. i’ll never be polly people pleaser, but i also have a hard time being pointlessly mean spirited. as those cheap shots start rolling in… it will be a challenge to decide how to handle them. it is tempting to join the pissing match, be the villain, especially when being the hero seems like such a fucking snooze (sorry captain america, no thank you). in the meantime, before i start concepting possible furniture layouts for castle grayskull, i think i’ll settle quietly somewhere in the anti-hero category for a while. that way, i can still be fundamentally good, without having to be fundamentally boring or having my purity of spirit make other people uncomfortable (i’m pretty sure people probably make an effort not to swear in front of superman).

bummed out.

i decided to take a little break from posting this weekend because things got really crappy for a minute and i just wanted to hide in a hole at the bottom of the sea. it’s all for the best really, all i really would have been capable of yesterday was mashing my hands against the keyboard in rage, or maybe coughing up a little phlegm. not as compelling and one might like. the grisly details:

1. i am still sick. 2 weeks now, and i’m not feeling any better. in addition to being a mucous filled sack, i apparently have also developed a case of glossopharyngeal neuralgia (intermittent stabbing throat pain) that may or may not go away when i get better.

2. i was really excited to be having my very first sponsored giveaway next week, until i found out that the product mysteriously contains GELATIN. as a faithful veg, i just can’t bring myself to pimp the meat products on my blog- no matter how plush the swag. (more on this later)

3. i just got a hot and heavy not from my condo association president who says that me and the boyfriend unit and i need to come up with $5000 by june to pay for a new roof. you mean those cutting boards we nailed over the missing shingles aren’t doing the job? fuck. good thing i didn’t blow my amateur night load yet, looks like i’m gonna need it.

4. did i mention that my insurance company isn’t returning my calls about the water damage that occurred over a month ago?

5. i got my 2nd really mean comment today, and although i realize that it is a hazard of the trade… it makes me sad when people who don’t care for my opinion about something attack me directly, instead of defending or presenting their own opinion. just because we disagree on one particular point doesn’t make me a demon, does it?

anyway, you can see why a girl might be a touch on the grouchy side. i had high hopes for this weekend, and on top of the crappy crap that happened, i didn’t get fuck all done (unless you count staying up until 4 am updating my linkedin profile). i enter into this week on a “$5000 in the shit” super low, with no sleep and no clean socks. oh, and i’m probably going to have to send back that sweet free bathrobe.