chastity belt.

well, i made it through two weeks on $68, only to find myself in almost the exact same predicament again this month. will i ever live to float above the desperate line?  and i’m not desperate because i’m feeding my kids (or even my dog), or putting myself through school so i can stay off the pole. nope. i’m a victim of my own careless spending.

although i no longer spend money that’s not mine (credit cards), i do certainly rob myself of the pleasure of things like a reasonable savings account, or even just the comfort of being able to manage my money like a responsible adult (what, $7 isn’t enough for groceries?).

so last monday, i decided that i was going get my shit together and go on the “all cash system” that everyone financially responsible is always raving about. i  took $60 out of the ATM.

by tuesday night, i had gone out to eat 3 times and bought a new dress. i had burned through my cash and was using my card again. ALREADY.

this is exactly what happens to me when i go on a diet. by telling myself that i can’t have food that i want, i automatically end up eating 4 times more than i otherwise would… like somehow i think that by dieting, that means that i’m never going to eat anything good again. so i spaz out and eat everything.

it is clear that i am too stupid to overcome these impulse control problems with logic. thus, my only remaining option: BRUTE FORCE.

simply, i can’t spend money if i don’t have it. and this week, i’m giving up control. i have a small stash of bills (very small this week), and the debit card has been safely handed over to the boyfriend with strict instructions not to let me have it unless it’s an utter emergency.

like medical or family emergency, not amazing dress on sale emergency.

this can’t possibly not work. right?

any other crazy ideas out there for wrapping my hands a little more tightly around my financial situation? or am i hopelessly hopeless?

 

welcome to purge-atory. (part 1)

day one of the purge was less than remarkable. just like those sad folks on hoarders, i got sucked into a microproject that yielded limited results. to my credit, i did clean out an entire file cabinet of old bills and pay stubs.  (on a side note, if anyone wants to steal my identity, this upcoming trash day might be a good time). also, my house is not going to be condemned if i don’t finish my purging by the end of the second day.

yesterday was also further complicated by the boyfriend deciding that he wanted to join in the purging by bringing up 7 fully packed storage bins or childhood crap  from the basement to the living room and starting to dig through them. he is definitely the hoardier one of the two of us, and i got really stuck on trying to get him to throw his shit away. i actually at one point uttered the phrase “why did you just put that kite string in the ‘keep’ pile? you don’t own a kite.”

the fact that his stuff was all over the living room (making it impossible to move or clean) stressed me out horribly, and i became very mean. apparently, the boyfriend also becomes very mean when other people hover over him and try to force him to get rid of his stuff. it was a brutal afternoon.

after some vegetables and a full 9 hours of sleep however, i am looking at my shelves with renewed scrutiny, and am surprising myself with how much i am willing to give away.  today will be better, i’m sure of it (i’m not sure of it).

look for and update on the results of day 2 later today.