walking out: why “step up 4” was a way better movie than “the dark knight rises”.

until last week, i’ve only ever walked out of one movie- meet the parents.

picture it, it was the year 2000, and my boyfriend at the time (who also happens to also be my boyfriend at the present) had seen it with friends, and assured me that it was hilarious. i do think it’s notable to mention here how weird it is that the company that you’re with has so much sway in how much you enjoy a movie. but yeah, i don’t think i have to explain why i walked out of that one (robert de niro- WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?).

but then last week, i went to see the dark knight rises at the nickelodeon (again, with that boyfriend who possibly has a chronic case of the bad movie karmas).

with an 87% fresh rating on rotten tomatoes, and having enjoyed the first two movies very much, i was poised and open for peak enjoyment. i really really wanted to like it. i wanted it to be amazing. i wanted it to be the booming crescendo in a symphony that was the (so far pretty good) dark knight trilogy. but right from the outset, i just couldn’t get on board. also, i accidentally spilled most of my smuggled in wheat thins on the floor during the opening credits.

let me make you a nice tidy bulleted list of where things went wrong for me: p.s…. SPOILER ALERT.

in defense of netflix.

dear netflix,

you and i have been together for a long time. since november 2004 actually. that’s longer than any relationship i’ve ever been in. and so far, you’ve never really let me down. sure, occasionally i’ve gotten a scratched disc, but you always dispatch a replacement within 24 hours. and yeah, sometimes you take an extra day or two to get my movies to me… but that could just as easily be the fault of the postal system. what i’m saying is that overall, it’s been good. really really good.

and then last year, we decided to take it to the next level. i purchased a roku, so that i could take advantage of your unlimited streaming. and i STREAMED. i streamed so hard. remember that time we watched all 7 seasons of buffy in a row? you’ve always known what i like.

2 dvds and unlimited streaming, all for a mere $15.74 a month. life was good.

but then, last month you announced that things were going to change. and at first, i felt hurt, betrayed… how could you do this to me after all of our good times together? 7 years of history, and you’re jacking up your rates?! $19.98 for my current plan to continue?

for a while, i stamped around like a spoiled brat.

but then, i realized something: netflix, you’ve been very good to me all these years. we’ve had 7 glorious years together, where i’ve taken all that you’ve had to give. and you only increased your prices once.

the reality is that our relationship has changed over the years. it takes me longer and longer to return my dvds (i’m pretty sure i had “logan’s run” for like 6 months), while i bask in your streamy goodness, every single day. maybe, it’s just time that we reconfigure the way that we do business.

so, i’ll make a deal with you. come september, i’m going to downgrade to streaming only. $7.99 for all the movies & crap tv that i can digest is a really really good deal. a great deal. a deal with a future. as for new releases and other various holes in your streaming library… (it’s hard for me to say this), i’m going back to videoport. it’s close to my house, and i’ve been feeling really guilty about not showing them more love over the last few years.

but i just wanted you to know how much i value our time together, and hope that we can continue seeing each other on these new terms for many years to come. i’ve paid a lot more for a lot less from other services, and it’s time i started giving you the credit and respect that you deserve. i took you for granted, and i will never let that happen again.

i love you netflix. i love you forever.

xo.

-a.

acid flashback.

i am a child of the 80s. when i was born, video stores didn’t exist. but by the time i was 6- BAM, there they were. you could rent an atari 5200, or any one of tens of titles on VHS or betamax.  as a young child being seduced by the glory of in-home movie viewing (commercial free!), there were precious few titles available in the G ratings bracket in 1984.

also, my comprehension of the english language was still in its formative stages. so, i relied entirely on movie box pictures to make my choices. i was particularly obsessed with the movie above: angel- high school honor student by day, hollywood hooker by night.

obviously at 6, i didn’t know what a hooker was. i merely saw pretty shoes and shiny hot pants. what could possibly be inappropriate? my older sister and i would BEG repeatedly for this movie every single time we went to the video store… never fully understanding why we were being shut down. unfortunately,  being the prudent parent that she is, my mother never caved.

flash forward 25+ years later.

despite being readily available on netflix (with a 4 star recommendation based on some other hilarious movies that i’ve watched), i have never managed to view it as a consenting 17+. actually, i had forgotten about it entirely for many many years (it would fade slowly from local video stores to be replaced with “higher quality” fare usually starring eddie murphy in a fat suit). until…

LAST SATURDAY.

worth the trip- full cosmetic takedown.

so i’d never even heard of ulta before i drove by the mall a few days ago and saw that one had sprung up in the gaping void left by vinny ts (ok, maybe gaping void is a little dramatic- did ANYBODY go to that restaurant?). now generally, i would not entirely give a shit about a giant box store peddling makeup (sorry sephora, i’m just a low maintenance kind of girl), but they seduced me in with a $5 off $10 coupon in my sunday paper. i also did a little research and found out that in addition to their own lines and the high end lines they carry, they also carry all the drugstore brands, AND they take manufacturers coupons. SCORE! their flier showed a host of buy one get one 50% off deals on the drugstore brands, and i rounded up my very best coupons and headed over to see what i could do:

2 neutrogena blushes at $5.99 each with the BOGO50% sale, a $3/1 coupon (from all you) and a $2/1 coupon from this weekend’s paper= $3.99

2 NYC color nail polishes for $1.99 each with BOGO50% sale and a BOGO coupon from all you (seriously, if you don’t get all you, you’re doing yourself a profound coupon disservice)= $.99

2 cover girl eye shadows at $3.29 each with the BOGO50% sale, and 2 $1/1 coupons from the P&G brandsaver= $2.94

total= $7.92 minus the $5/$10 coupon from the paper= $2.92! i got all of the above makeup for less than $3! AND for joining their rewards club (totally free and painless to join), they gave me a sack of free goodies including a full size nail polish and eye shadow, scented body cream, and some fancy hair serum.  oh, and a 20% off coupon for next time. SUPER SCORE. also, the staff was super friendly and extremely patient with my crazy coupon ladyness. i’m hoarding this makeup for a secret project (details soon), so especially if they keep the coupon love flowing, i will definitely be going back again.

shaw’s- ok, i have never been a big fan of the “can-tastic savings” event, and this week was not particularly different. the only thing i deemed worth grabbing was the $.88 progresso soup. i had a $.50/2 coupon (doubled of course) from a coupon book i got in the mail, and considering they’re usually around $2 a piece, i thought that $.38 each was a good deal.

target– sadly, all the clearanced all natural fruit roll ups & herbal essences 2 packs were already gone (who are you target shelf cleaner? reveal yourself!), but they did have a good deal on hunts diced tomatoes at $.82 a can (screw you can-tastic savings) and i had a $1/3 coupon. $.48 a can seems pretty good, especially because chili season is upon us. they also had the deluxe velveeta mac & cheese (i’m obsessed with mexi-mac) for $1.52, which is pretty much as low as i’ve seen it anywhere (including walmart). there was a good $1/2 coupon in the paper last week (i think!), so $1 a box for me at least, seemed like a score. although again, nothing amazing.

rite aid- the free crest toothpaste and nivea lip care are definitely on the top of my list, but that schick coupon they’re all talking about on the deal websites doesn’t exist up here (kind of like the revlon coupons that never show up in the maine papers). also, i’m gonna pass on the incontinence pads. otherwise, meh. decent deal on frosted flakes ($1.60 per box when you buy 5), and cottonelle 12 packs are only $3.99 after +UP (the only coupons i could find were $.50/2), which is a pretty good price for toilet paper (especially if you’ve ever paid $1 or more for a “desperation roll” at a gas station).

cvs- roughly as much excitement going on at the cvs, but there is a good $.99 revlon nailpolish deal (after ECBs- limit 6!), which would be free if you had any revlon coupons floating around. i didn’t, but i got it anyway because i didn’t want to waste the $4/$20 that the emailed me this weekend. however, the big deal to look out for is lurking in the magic coupon machine. $5 off all halloween decorations and costumes with NO MINIMUM PURCHASE! i bought a pair of striped tights and some purple hairspray for  $.99.  the big bummer was really getting the coupon (it’s a “one day only”) in a store that had kind of a minimal halloween section.

big lots- there is a 4/$10 movie deal goin on at the big lots right now on all regularly $3 movies. i couldn’t find 4 that i liked (my local store didn’t have deep blue sea as advertised- FAIL!), but i did find a copy of rocket science, which is a great movie starring portland’s very own oscar nominee, anna kendrick.  anyway, even though i didn’t buy 4 movies, it still came up as $2.50. they’ve got some decent horror, and the usual sub “straight to DVD” quality (heartbeeps anyone?), but if you like to dig through big bins of crap- there are occasionally some gems in there.

still life with diet food.

at some point this winter, i signed up to run a 5k. at the time, it seemed like june was terribly far away and that the exercise and diet required to be able to take on such a task were no real threat to my sedentary and butter-hoovering ways. well, it’s may 3rd today, and that gives me exactly 1 month to peel my ass off the couch and get moving.  this realization crashed down on me this weekend when i received an email from the maine cancer foundation, letting me know that the race was on the 3rd, NOT the 25th as i had somehow randomly deluded myself into believing. and for emphasis, i had to break down and buy a pair of size 12 jeans (see below re: old navy binge), after my well broken in (and stretched out apparently) size 10s suffered a catastrophic crotch blowout. yep, i’m getting chunky and out of shape. yep, if i’m gonna haul this carcass 3.1 miles in 1 month, i should probably get it together.

for a little back story, i used to run all the time. 3-4 miles a few times a week in between yoga and pilates and other such fitness nonsense. i was in good shape,  really good shape. and i was a size 6. ouch. ok, those size six days may be gone forever (time to inject at least a little reality into the situation), but the point is that i know how to be fit. i know how to exercise. i know how to run. i just have to remember how to get off my ass and do it.

fortuitously, the boyfriend also seems to finally be ready to get back into the groove (we fell for each other when we started running together a few years ago), and specifically requested that we try to eat some lower calorie food this week. we even went for a little jog around mackworth island on sunday morning.  it was a rough 1.25 miles, but we didn’t have to stop, and both made it back to the car alive.  i think that’s a good sign that we both still have a little running potential hidden underneath the fat. now we just need to keep it up.

after our jog, we hit the shaw’s for some healthy food buying. goodbye pot pie… cheesy polenta casserole… biscuits and gravy… hello fruits, vegetables, and lean protein. i’m feeling inspired by the coupon goddess and her summer slim down detox. and without any real coupon pre-planning, i still ended up picking up a few sweet (marginally healthy deals) this weekend.

healthy harvest pasta is on sale for $1.49, and with the $.75/1 coupon from the 4/11 smartsource doubled, i got 2 boxes for free.

land o’ lakes cage free eggs were $2.99 this week, and i had a $.50/1 from somewhere that made them a mere $2. almost as cheap as regular eggs!

lindsay olives recloseable tubs  are currently $1.69, and with a $1/1 that i got in a recent newspaper insert, i snagged mine for $.69.

think thin bars are on sale for $1.99 (if you can call a $2 granola bar a sale…), but if you were able to snag those $.50/1 printables from a while back (now no longer available), you could have gotten them for $.99 each after doubling, which is almost reasonable! i got 3, and i’m really hoping that they’re not gross. (any thoughts?)

**UPDATE** the lovely lynn @ the portland penny pincher has alerted us to the fact that the $.50/1 think thin coupon is still active on their site!! also, it’s a PDF, so NO PRINT LIMIT!! eat up.

i also grabbed a couple of things at the super walmart…

if you haven’t signed up for kraft first taste yet, you totally need to. there’s a great $1/1 coupon off philadelphia cream cheese minis right now (philly has finally gotten into the 100 calorie game), and priced at $1.99, they’re definitely worth beta testing for $.99. did i mention that i’ll try pretty much anything once if it’s under $1?

lastly, if you were able to print all those great dvd coupons that were hanging out on coupons.com last month (no longer available), i scored a copy of  in her shoes for $3. ok, kind of a sucky movie, but i looooooooves the crappy chick flicks. and for $3 (regularly $5 with a $2/1 coupon), i can afford to give it to goodwill in a few months when i decide that i’m embarrassed about buying it.

on a related (and less shameful) note, if anyone knows where i can get cheapy copies of some like it hot and the graduate for low low prices, i still have $2/1 coupons for those burning a hole in my coupon folder.