r/nonwild: why shopping on the internet for self-esteem is probably a mistake.

DISCLAIMER: i’ve been writing this post since september, and actually changed the date to october when it took me a month to get it even half done. now it’s almost february. the cliff’s notes version here is that i’m sad. i’ve been sad for a while. i’m feeling a lot better, but things are still sometimes confusing and hard, and i haven’t been writing because i couldn’t. i know that’s not funny, or snarky, or even interesting, but it’s the story of why this post took me almost 6 months to write.

october was a pretty shitty month. i would venture to say (save for that year when i got divorced), that this october was probably the shittiest month i’ve had for a long time. and while no one big thing went awry causing the downward spiral (time to break out the NIN), it was more of a 10 car pile up of tiny awful little things combining into a juggernaut of unstoppable sadness, and self doubt, and too many days spent curled up in my bed with my dog playing internet scrabble and praying for sleep.

i am not prone to depression, not even a little. usually, i’m a joke cracking, bright side finding, pollyanna-grade fucking optimist. i don’t get sad, ever really.  so on the very rare occasion that everything decides to crumble into dust for a minute, sad is this foreign intruder who busts in, makes himself comfortable in my bed, demands snacks, and refuses to go home. i’m paralyzed. i’m useless. so, sad and i curl up in bed together, call my mom, and try to wait it out.

weekend pickthrough- parking lot commerce edition.

i once knew this guy who had saved up $2,000 for a new computer. as luck would have it, he stopped to get gas, and 2 guys in an van asked him if he wanted to buy a really nice set of speakers that they happened to have in their van. as chance would have it, the low low price was exactly $2,000. SO HE BOUGHT THEM. i wish i could remember the brand, but according to him, they were $10,000. the deal of the century! and probably only slightly stolen.

it worked out pretty great for him i guess, but not so well for this lady who tried to buy an ipad from a mcdonald’s parking lot. oops. maybe she can use it as a doorstop, or burn it for warmth? although seriously, who buys a parking lot ipad (ok, who buys a parking lot ipad at all…) and DOESN’T OPEN THE BOX? as much as i hate to see people get taken advantage of, this chick kind of deserved it. at least the article didn’t use her real name!

once a guy tried to sell me weed in monument square, but i can honestly stay that i have never been approached to buy suspect goods out of a van in a fast food parking lot.  what’s the shiftiest thing you ever bought?

oh, and here’s some links: