weekend pickthrough- red hot and boozy edition.

so, i finally got my “i’m on a boat” badge on foursquare this weekend, and i definitely EARNED that shit. this past friday, red hot and ladylike was having a saucy benefit booze cruise, that involved me throwing on some hot pants and shakin it on a boat to top 40 til the wee hours (ok, like 10:30). sure, i got hit on by marginally creepy dudes old enough to be my dad. and sure, there was one drunk couple that i was pretty positive was actually doing the horizontal monster mash on the dance floor. but i forgot how much fun it is to get shitty on champagne and go dance with the lady friends. and dancing on a boat- TOTALLY AMAZING. the casablanca appears to have regular cruises with live music or djs all summer long (at very reasonable rates). and lemmie just tell you, there is nothing else like pulling into portland harbor while you’re crazy dancin’ in your underpants to “got your money”. ODB would be proud. (word)

the subtle intricacies of prison hooch (you just need to round up a little grape juice, a dirty sock, some moldy bread, and a toilet).

the portland press herald and i are having an argument. does this guinea pig look more stressed out, or more concerned?

25 free songs from urban outfitters (most of which don’t suck)! finally, some free downloads that aren’t christian audiobooks (now that’s a miracle).

there’s no crying in the break room. i need to hire my own joan holloway to make sure that i don’t embarrass myself.

the adorable and clever @aubinthomas has started a new blog to help preserve the memory of fine graffiti before some jackoff with a bucket of beige paint decides he wants to clean up the town.

$555,000 in student loan debt? sallie mae needs to back the fuck off.

for all you meat-a-vores out there, that fat guy from portland food coma takes you on a BBQ tour of maine. now somebody needs to generate me some passable faux pulled pork, or i am gonna LOSE IT.

weekend pickthrough- disruptive holiday weekend edition.

days off are nice i suppose, but holiday weekends are made of lies. sure, up front it looks like you get an extra day for lounging and merriment… but the reality is that those dangling days are fodder for family barbecues and other- though not entirely unpleasant, still mandatory time burglars.

friday, i had a busy day at work chased by an early exhaustion crash before i was able to squeeze out the weekend pickthrough. then yesterday, a fun but timesucking family party rendered my saturday limp and useless. oh, and then i ate too many faux buffalo wings and passed out in a puddle of my own drool on the couch. and so that brings us to sunday morning, where the weekend’s mostly over, and i still haven’t gotten my ass in gear to write the weekend pickthrough. the bad news is that it’s not that exciting this week.  the good news is none of you are around to read it because you’re all attending obligatory family reunions and pool parties. or if you’re really unlucky, a birthday party for a child who is way too young to appreciate it

i’ve long thought that kids these days are big fat pussies (entirely the fault of their overprotective parents). this weekend (to the horror of your neighbors), prove that your kids aren’t walking wuss-factories, and send them out to play- UNATTENDED! (shocking, i know)

portland’s resident fat bastard joe ricchio lists his top 10 eats in portland for 2010, and it’s not all fois gras and pinkies up. the man appreciates good food on the cheap from chili dogs to my beloved sicilian slab.

the most useful tutorial i’ve seen in a while. why didn’t they have youtube when i was 14!?

according to the coupons.com coupon scientists, rich (well, rich-er) people use more coupons. do wealthier people value money more? do wealthier people feel entitled to keep more of their hard earned cash? or is it some sort of insane competition to see who can get the most for the least?

in case you missed this year’s celebration, may 25th was nerd pride day. i hope you all were able to don your traditional costumes, dust off your babylon 5 figures, and engage in a rousing discussion about who would win in a fist fight between george lucas and gary gygax (r.i.p. sweet geekfather, i’d put my money on you any day).

i wish i was the kind of girl who wrote blog posts about being the kind of girl who ices her muffin. well, except the part about sticking rhinestones to my cooch.

ok, and not to end on a bummer note, but did anyone else (save for my friend michelle from fun with tofu who pointed it out to me) notice this seemingly racist cartoon in last weekend’s parade magazine? it’s seems screwed up to me that more people aren’t really pissed.

weekend pickthrough- underwater edition.

much like a gigantic jellyfish, this week came out of nowhere. i had all these brilliant plans about getting 8 hours of sleep and being a productive and worthy human… and giant jelly just wobbled in and knocked the infrastructure out of my whole week. fuck.

obviously the wordpress.com feature was totally awesome, but my goal to try and answer all my comments is slowly killing me. maybe i’m 1/4 of the way through… and then of course there was the demon dog. not only did i have to pick up poop for the first time in my life (not impressed jamie- please stick to your regular pooping schedule!), but i also had to rearrange the whole way i formatted my life. no reading in bed because the light will keep the dog up… get up half an hour earlier than usual to take the dog on a walk… my texts to the boyfriend during the work day were no longer about our days or our plans, but about the dog’s bathroom habits and who was next on the walking schedule…

and then this morning, i awoke to find that the gentlemen putting on my new roof, had sealed me into my condo with a large piece of plywood over the door and several layers of blue tarps. i had to locate a hole in the tarps to scream through so that they could let me (and the dog) out. they seemed unimpressed. also, i got asphalt in my hair.

because i was so crazy sleepless behind this week, i haven’t mined as many great pickthrough items as usual.  but hopefully you can still find something to enjoy in this slightly truncated and hastily thrown together weekend pickthrough:

i thought that reviewing applebees on tripadvisor was the lamest possible thing you could do on the internet, i was wrong.

ghost towns of the recession.

does anyone else have one of these? i’m obsessed with trying one out (and frankly i see the “sexually suggestive” nature of the product to be a pro and not a con).

amanda jennifer shows us the hidden hazards of spanx.

what’s better than an adult spelling bee? a DRUNKEN adult spelling bee.

wait, you mean that the 3rd dimension isn’t new? incessant ramblings on the suckyness that is 3-D.

dirtnap daydreams. that portland food coma guy plans the ultimate fantasy binge before he heads to the big vomitorium in the sky. (bonus points for wanting to eat sushi off a naked lady).

am i totally stupid for not realizing that you can make ketchup in your very own kitchen? yeah, probably.

and of course, the week isn’t complete without a wistful fanboy wave goodbye to LOST (i don’t know about you, but i’d cut a bitch to get my hands on daniel faraday’s notebook).