sexy times.

a little over a week ago, fabulous reader winnie sent me a sexy little letter she had written to stop & shop. hilarious. erotic! i think she’s invented a new genre: COUPON PORN. i had meant to include it in this week’s weekend pickthrough, but in my 2 am delirium, i completely dropped the ball. no bother. it more than deserves its own post anyway. thank you winnie!

bingo.

no seriously. are you looking at this? i would like to take this opportunity to thank the amazing julie who sent me arguably the most hilarious/awesome present i have ever received. not only was it an incredibly nice thing to do, but are you looking at it?  i mean, how could i have lived my life until now not knowing that this existed? god bless new orleans for knowing that universe needed these. lots of these.

and if you’re wondering if i’ll be wearing it next week when i throw myself into the dog eat dog world of weeknight bingo, the answer is an unequivocal HELLS YES. i need to show those grannies who’s boss. i will also be wearing it at foxwoods next weekend- regardless of whether i’m playing bingo or not.  actually, i’m considering wearing it all the time. i think it will work  seamlessly into my office casual wardrobe.

listen to the flamingo.

he wants to give you something. apparently, by cashing in on the free grapefruit deal this weekend, i may have earned myself 2 free grapefruit spoons! woot! many thanks to fabulous reader jen (god knows how she even stumbled across this crazy ass deal in the first place), who pointed me in the right direction.

it looks like the florida grapefruit people have hired a web designer (a kind of funny girly one at that), and if you buy either a 3 lb. or greater bag of florida grapefruits OR a 54 oz. or greater container of 100% florida grapefruit juice (no cocktail!), you can mail in your receipt and get 2 pink plastic grapefruit spoons. after careful inspection, it appears that the grapefruits i picked up are from no discernible state (shawsabama?), but the ocean spray juice clearly says “florida” on the label propaganda- so im pretty sure that it applies. i generally wouldn’t bother to haul ass to the post office for something quite so trivial, but the following conditions apply:

1. i was feeling a little bummed out for getting sucked into such a mediocre deal ($5 for juice that i don’t generally buy -with no coupons!), and free spoons make it very slightly less mediocre.

2. i have a 3 lb. bag of grapefruits now, and no way to eat them. (think they’ll stay fresh for 6-8 weeks?)

3. i’m pretty sure that flamingo is giving me the sexy eye, and i think i might have  a chance with him if he sees how enthusiastic i am about florida grapefruits.