i want to steal all your clothes.

i’ve been busy.

you know it. but this time i’m not writing to apologize for not posting enough (remember that time i was trying to post every day- what happened to that shit?). this time, i’m writing to let y’all know one of the super secret plots i’ve been hatching all these long months. (ok, and maybe to apologize a little bit for not posting)

anyway, me and a stunning assortment of lady fashion blogger friends have been meeting almost weekly (did you know that the armory has a free cheez plate? you really need to go there) to put together our own CITY WIDE CLOTHING SWAP.

if you’ve never been to a swap before (you should be sad for your loss), it’s basically just a big party where you bring all your awesome clothes that don’t fit you or that you’ve become tired of, and swap them with other people who have better fitting clothes that fill you with excitement.  except that this time, instead of haggling over sensible rayon skirts over 7-layer dip at your lame coworker’s house, you get to paw through the cast offs of all the most fashiony people in portland.

well, at least that’s what we hope.

basically, a swap is only as good as the people who show up with their shit. so please, if your dance card is empty for saturday, the 21st of may, please consider penciling us in. if the people who organized the event are any indication of the quality of the swappables that will be there, this shit is gonna be amazing (do people still say “off the chain”?).

ok, i can’t exactly speak for the quality of my own stuff (i am easily always the worst dressed one at our meetings) but the rest of the ladies all have incredible style, and i know you want what they’re swappin. i know do.

and if the promise of recycling your best hipster finery isn’t enough to get you in the door, let me throw down 2 last points:

less is more.

so i was reading this weird article last week about a restaurateur in new york who is opening up a temporary fine dining restaurant (in a building that will either be demolished or sold within a year). it was sort of an interesting read in and of itself, but about halfway through, i ran directly into this quote:

“sometimes no money is better than money.”

in the scope of the article, they were talking about how the budget forced them to make creative design choices. but in the scope of my life, i think it might be my new mantra.

in my past, i have lived comfortably with less (much less). in fact, in my very earliest years on welfare with my mom and sister, i don’t even remember being poor because my mom was a magician. she made quiche out of government cheese and picture perfect little bo peep costumes out of our bedroom curtains (just like scarlett o’hara!). she taught me that being broke doesn’t mean not having what you want. it just means being resourceful with what you have to create what you want. dear lord, how did i forget?

though it may provide a momentary jolt of pleasure and feeling of fullness, there isn’t a whole lot of satisfaction to be had in going to the mall and buying a sweater. knitting a sweater on the other hand is a triumphant experience. for example, my brilliant friend cindy unraveled a damaged cashmere sweater and made it into the most stunning pair of cable knit mitts ever. an amazing and thoughtful xmas gift that i’ve been wearing like crazy, and that cost her virtually nothing (except time, and of course, love).

true ingenuity comes from necessity, and when we’re broke, we’re forced to be creative about how we use our resources. buying stuff is my crutch. it solves the problem in the moment (although it often creates greater problems down the line), but i feel like my “makin do” muscles have atrophied. i may not be as broke as i once was (but worry not, i still have like $16 in my bank account right now), but that doesn’t give me an excuse to forget the value of maximizing what i already have.

10 days ago, i made a resolution to PAY ATTENTION! to how i spend my money (and my time and my calories…). i also declared that this would be my only resolution this year. well, i lied. sort of. technically it isn’t new year’s anymore… so consider this to be a mid-january resolution addendum.

number 1 will still be PAY ATTENTION!, but 1a will be BE INGENIOUS. if my mom managed to materialize a fantastical christmas out of food stamps and home made barbie clothes when i was 5, i can certainly figure out how to reel in the excess and stop solving my problems with my bank account.

i need inspiration! tell me how you have been creative with limited resources, so that i can try to outdo you.

weekend pickthrough- extra litigious edition.

i’ve already expressed my displeasure with the 3 day weekend. well, just to even things out a little, i would like to discuss my equal disdain for the 4 day week. 4 day weeks are a waste. schedules are thrown off, and nobody even really knows what day it is… but all are hyper aware of the unfairness that they are no longer on vacation. spaced out, phoning it in, like everyone in my life (including me) was stricken with a 4-day case of ADD.  needless to say, it was certainly not my most productive week ever.  the icing on this crazy short-week mental derailment cake is that someone actually threatened to sue me. of course it was a baseless accusation (and a whole lot of posturing), but disruptive and distracting (ok, and mildly amusing). but it pretty much took down what was left of this week with a stun gun and rendered it completely immobile. here are the few things i managed to filter out of this otherwise limp and unmanageable 4 days:

portland trash bags are getting more expensive (as if $7.50 for 10 trash bags wasn’t pricey enough!), load up now before they go up to $10.

pinkies out! the subtle etiquette of dumpster diving.

check your shaw’s flier! this week’s dollar doublers make this a kick ass week for crazy coupon ladies.

i might use “too many commas”, but at least i don’t use “unnecessary quotation marks“.

apparently, chunkys don’t hold up very well under extreme heat. the oven test determines the sturdiest beach candy.

bitch is lucky she didn’t get shanked.  don’t you EVEN get between a girl and her coupons.

yeah, i heart wood too. (in both the dirty and not dirty way)

i wonder what will happen to the bayside apartments if they blow out as student housing? love hotel? haunted house?

there’s a great deal on fiber one stuff at target this week. too bad it’ll make you wicked farty.

**UPDATE** according to the wonderous @jjdactyl over at gluten-free win, resistance is futile with the portland trash bag rate increase. apparently when the new bags come out, they’re just going to stop taking the old bags, and you’re just screwed. so ignore what i just said, and definitely don’t stock up! she recommends that we get a second recycling bin (ooh what about composting?!) to defray costs (both environmental and financial).

seeking redemption.

this is bound to be a kind of schizophrenic post, as i am writing it while i’m watching the oscars. at a party. slightly drunk. as a matter of fact, it’s taken me no less than 39 minutes to write this much. but that’s okay, i don’t really have a lot to say on the subject of bottle redemption.

after collecting ground change all year, you do start to notice discarded bottles as well. they’re like dirty sticky nickels that won’t fit into your pocket. there have been moments when i’ve considered going after them… but there’s already a lot of competition in town, and there’s something about throwing my hat into that ring that just seems a little unfair. i’ll stick with the boxtops for education. if i even have the balls to do that. digging through other people’s trash is a place that i’m still a little afraid to go.

but back to the bottles. the best thing about having a big party is that everybody brings beer, drinks beer, and leaves bottles behind. score. also, copious road trips, my unquenchable thirst, and general untidiness meant that the car was also packed to the gills with empty water bottles. smaller, secondary score.

we ended up taking our drippy pastic bagged bounty to the RSVP redemption center out on forest ave. this kind of classic redemption center is, as always, smelly, sticky, noisy, and horribly inconvenient.  you have to sort each  bottle by type, which means that you end up with like 10 different slips- not counting the ones for the bottles that the machine won’t take that you have to get from the cashier up front.  then you have to schlep across the way to the liquor store to  cash in your slips, which a checker has to enter in individually into the register before she gives you your $7.25.

they clynk program at hannaford’s all over maine is by far a better solution. you put your returnables into one of their special bags, drop them off at any clynk location, and they keep a running tally in your account until you’re ready to cash out. although i suppose it’s only a better solution if you don’t need cash right now,  or if you don’t mind parting with $.20 for every bag full of bottles you bring in. but it’s definitely easier, cleaner, less smelly, and a great way to keep your bottle fund growing quietly until there’s enough to make it worth withdrawing.

i’m likely to make at least a couple more bottle runs this month as we blaze through the leftover party beer, and i clean out the bottle stash at my office. but i’m going to need more than another $7.25 to make it to my $1,000 goal. unless you’re willing to spend the day scouring the streets and garbage cans for recyclable cast offs… bottle returning is definitely not the path to easy money- unless you just want to use it to buy more beer.

weekend picktrhough- surprising walnut edition

day 5. still have zero dollars in the kitty for my little project. it’s a really good thing that i don’t have an actual emergency to tend to. although i do wish i could muster up the sense of urgency i need to really make this experiment work. also, i overselpt and forgot to bring my coinstar change to work with me.  this week was such a fucking wreck. to distract from the “problem area”, here are some interesting and useful tips from some other (far more put together) websites:

paint chips are beautiful and free. and for anyone who ever had to buy coloraid for art school, it’s the perfect poor man’s substitution.

we talked a lot about taking surveys for money this week, and this article is a near perfect round-up of everything you could possibly ever want to know. (and by near perfect i mean there’s not enough profanity for my taste). thanks for the link commenter katherine!

free P&G coupons for shaw’s card holders!!! (and they’re even valid in maine- woot!)

30% off for recycling.

hell hath no fury like 5 sticks of butter. (throw a couple of cakeballs on there, and i’m pretty sure we’re in business).

“in a stunning darwinian moment, jake’s dad immediately begins to cry, proving that the pussy gene is indeed hereditary.”

you did WHAT with a walnut?

$10/10 online with your old navy card. nice.

want! want! want!

this is more wrong than anything that has ever been wrong in the history of wrongness.

what i got.

at one point, i almost wrote a post about everything i wanted but didn’t get for xmas. selfish much? sometimes i feel like americans (including and especially me) are so focused on what we want, and what we don’t have- that we don’t rightly see how much we do have. i’m not just talking about forgetting the newest model of whatever- and making do with what you’ve already got going (although that’s a good idea too), but by attacking  life each day knowing that we already have pretty much everything we need.

nothing to eat!
the concept of the “eat from the pantry challenge” is that most people already have more than enough food in their cupboards to get by, and in many ways, that weekly (daily for some) trip to the grocery store is nothing but a bad habit. the goal is to be creative and find ways to use what’s already on your shelves to get yourself through the month.  i love this idea! sometimes i like to fantasize about what would happen if there was a disaster of some sort and i was housebound for a while. the truth is that i could probably eat pretty well (weird, but well), even though i am often heard complaining about how we have no food in the house. i’m only willing to tackle one food-related challenge at a time, but i will definitely be trying this out at some point in the near future (although i’m not sure if my meager pantry could hold me for a full month).

nothing to wear!
i’m a bit of a clothes-whore… and at times have been guilty of getting caught up in the mall-vortex and spending way to much money on something that i “have to have right now! “, only to find out that i don’t love it as much once i’ve worn it a few times… the truth is that i’ve dearly loved garments that cost me $1, and i’ve loved garments that cost me $100 (or more *shame*). proving thus, that it’s not about the money (it never is, so why don’t i learn?). the folks at wardrobe refashion know this better than i do, and have all committed to a mall-free period (2-6 months) of thrifting, scavenging, reworking, sewing, knitting, and generally making of beautiful new wardrobes without actually buying anything new. the beauty of this group is that the money-saving is peripheral. what you’re really getting is a reason/inspiration for art/craft/sewing/knitting projects, and the solidarity of a place to talk (or brag) about them.

nothing to use!
lifehacker is a brilliant website for a number of reasons, but they really drove it home this xmas with their article about the “most popular repurposing tricks of 2009“. not only do they show you how to make cookies in the waffle iron (best news ever!), but they also cure tonail fungus, manage your computer cords, and clean your toilet- all with things you have around the house.

shopping is fun for sure, but sometimes we just need to pause for a moment, put the credit card away, and get a little creative. i hope that for me, learning the difference between need and want, could be the difference between debt-full and debt-free.