death of a salesman.

let’s be clear: i am a terrible sales person.

when i was in 2nd grade, i quit girl scouts because i didn’t like being forced to sell cookies. in 5th grade, i quit trick or treating because it felt too much like solicitation. despite the fact that everyone loves girl scout cookies, and virtually every person in america has a bowl of candy at the ready on halloween, i couldn’t shake the dirtiness of asking someone to give me something- or worse, BUY SOMETHING!

it’s kind of my worst non-dismemberment related fear. like twitchy cold sweat vomit grade fear.

so here we are at IKEA bus time again, and we have 27 people signed up for a bus that holds 50. and on the inside, i’m all like OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT. but then again, i don’t actually want to ask anyone to to buy a ticket. or flood my facebook and twitter feeds with plugs for my little project. so i’m sort of at a stalemate.

so my decision was to try and overcome my fear in the least invasive and annoying way i could think of- a short and to the point blog post. just one more before i give up, pat myself on the back, and say “hey, 27 people is still pretty sweet. you’re gonna have a kick ass time”.

so here it is.

secret vaseline money maker?!

after sleeping until noon (yes, noon), i spent the majority of my afternoon/early evening gutting my coupon folder and trying to prioritize anything good that was going to be expiring in the next week. randomly unearthed, two $3.75/1 coupons for vaseline sheer infusion lotion. i’m not a huge lotion user, but i’ll tell you what i do like- FREE SHIT. actually, i like products that pay me for buying them. the lotion, normally $5.79 at shaw’s, is apparently lumped in with the $2.49 vaseline deal going on this week. i bought two, and made myself a tidy profit of $2.52. if you still have those coupons (from the 4-11 redplum), you should consider running your ass down there and picking some up. pad your purchase with $2.50 of other stuff, and get it all for free.

i  had a bunch of mother’s day quiche stuff to buy, so i went slightly over $2.50… but i did manage to pick up a couple of other decent finds while i was there too.

pace salsa (the only salsa that i’ve ever truly loved) is on sale for $1.99. the $.60/2 from the 5-2 smartsource brought them down to $1.39 each. i need a lot, because i’ll be dumping it all over these (the coupon goddess knows her shit when it comes to yummy).

i bought another crop of think thin bars (the chocolate fudge variety was AMAZING) still on sale for $1.99 each, brought down to $.99 with that $.50/1 coupon doubled. bitches need to go on super-sale. $.99 for a single granola bar is INSANE.

i also got 2 boxes of blackberries (my favorite spring fruit) for $1.69, and a couple bags of snikiddy grilled cheese puffs (they hit the cheez doodle spot without the garbage ingredients) on sale for $2.49 each with a bogo coupon i got for doing a survey for them. you can get them for almost as cheap by signing up on their website and getting this $1/1 coupon. so delicious.  go. go now.

already reduced.

took a brief jaunt to the maine mall this afternoon, and it is not looking good over there.  as much as i’m enjoying the sales, never in my 32 years of life do i remember seeing so much stuff marked down to so little. not that it stopped me from picking up a cashmere sweater for $11 @ the gap (marked down from $98)…. but it was sort of sad, and made me wonder if the mall really has the razzmatazz to make it through this depress…i mean downturn.  on the upside, it appears that there’s some pretty kick ass sales going on this weekend:

the gap has racks and racks of good looking merch knocked down to $15 or less. I saw sweaters & tops for $5-$8. plus, you get an extra 25% off if you use your gap card.

ann taylor loft has a decent selection of moderately reduced sale goods including some cute jeans and dresses for $15-$40, and (for an indeterminate time) they appear to be offering an additional 50%.

express is a little euro-trash for my taste, but they have a ton of sale stuff right now, and i believe that they are also taking an additional 40% off sale prices.

macy’s as usual has racks and racks and racks of clothes marked down from 40-75% off (they even had some cute things in the teen ho section- i swear!).

victoria’s secret seems to be having a lite version of their semi-annual sale, with $2.99 underpants and $15ish bras.

if you’re in the market for running shoes, the sports authority has a ton of high end brands for %50 off. or if you’re looking to stock up, olympia sports is running a buy one get one 1/2 off deal on almost all of their athletic shoes.

forever 21 as usual has a whole room dedicated to crazy markdowns- although no more remarkable than usual, you can still get some pretty sexy stuff for under $10.

as previously stated, it was a brief jaunt, so i didn’t get a chance to go in everywhere. but it does appear that if you’re needing some mid-winter clothes, now is most certainly the time to hit the mall. makes a girl wonder, even if/once the economy does rebound- how long will it take consumers before they’re willing to pay full price again?

big meat hammer.

wow. a whole lotta meat in this week’s shaw’s flier. almost an entire page top to bottom (save for a little cheese filler here and there). other than the meat parade, there isn’t a whole lot going on this week. i think they’re taking a little break from super hot deals after 2 weeks of catalinas, but there’s still a few decent situations packed into the cracks between the meat:

kelloggs cereals @ $1.88. i have a $.50/1 from coupons.com for raisin bran (not there anymore) that will hopefully double and get me $.88 cereal.

wolfgang puck soup @ $2.49. i have a $1/1 from the 1/10 smartsource, and a $1/2 catalina i’ve been holding for a while. looks like $1 corn chowder is coming my way.

$.99 zatarain’s rice. i don’t have any coupons, but i do love their cheesy jambalaya.

bogo riceworks. got a really nice $1/1 in the 1/10 smarsource. don’t know how much they cost ($2.49 or less is my hope, but at shaw’s that’s probably a pipe dream), but it could be pretty sweet.

halls cough drops @ $1 each. $.50/1 from the 1/10 smart source- could double making for free coughdrops?

then there’s dollar days! which don’t seem that exciting (mostly shit that i can’t/don’t/won’t eat), but a couple of decent finds:

quaker rice snacks @ $1 each. supposedly there was a $.75/1 coupon in the 1/10 redplum, but i can’t find it. either i’m getting  sloppy in my clipping, or maine didn’t get it (like the ever-elusive revlon coupons!).

softsoap hand soap @ $1 each. according to hot coupon world, there’s a $.40/1 printable lurking on the interweb somewhere (coming soon!). hopefully it will surface soon, because i could definitely use some $.20 hand soap (i like the one that smells like grapefruit).

picking up the pieces.

ah, the post xmas hangover. i slept for 12 hours after a full 24 hours of merriment. hey, putting a convincing “i love it” face on (even when it’s clearly a crocheted sweater vest that smells like an ashtray) is exceptionally taxing. that said, xmas overall was mostly a success:

– everyone seemed to like their presents

– save for the aforementioned sweater vest, i got pretty good stuff (the boyfriend got me THE BAG that i’ve been dancing around for over a year now)

– i got a chance to do some cooking (my first fruit salad, and two ugly but delicious quiches)

– i watched 3 of my favorite xmas movies in a row while eating candy (elf, scrooged, & love actually)

– the boyfriend and i got cocoa and checked out the local xmas light displays (city of portland- A+ as usual. residents of portland D at best- weak!)

– and of course (first and foremost really)- i got to spend some pretty fun quality time with my my family (both in person and via telephone).

in short, it was good. but now what? cut off by tradition from consumer consumption for a full 24 hours- now that i’ve awaken from my holiday coma, what do i do?  um, clearly the answer is- I SHOP!

post holiday sales are just warming up, and it’s time to get back into the world for a first taste. as far as things like clothes, electronics, whatever… i generally like to wait until the “prices are still high because people are using their gift cards” period is over. however, i am one of those crazies who stocks up on discount wrapping paper. seriously, i can’t remember the last time i paid retail for xmas paper. if it’s not at least 50% off- then i don’t want it.  also on my list is stocking up on cheap cheap morningstar farms goods at target. they have a printable $2/2 right now AND i still have about 12 of those $.75/1s from the great tearpad incident of 2009. that shit’s expensive, so i’m going house.

other than that, i’ll probably stop by old navy. their wrapping paper is always pretty good, and i heard tell this morning via email that they’re having a $15 jeans sale, and i can get behind that.  i also plan on doing some internet shopping tonight, and picking up some sweet modern ornaments at cb2 and urban outfitters (bummer that the alessi nativity scene that i covet never goes on sale!)…. other than that, i’ll see where the day takes me. details to follow.