i try it!- danger in the kitchen laboratory.

if this blog post had a subheading, it would read: why leaving it to the professionals is sometimes the right thing to do.

so, during the SWAPmaine event a few weeks ago, the lovely keriann of mainely mara, turned me on to the starbucks black iced tea lemonade. HOLY CRAP. new heights of refreshing-ness! since that time, i think of drinking nothing else.

i’m not a coffee drinker, so the amount of time i spend at starbucks (which is inconveniently located multiple blocks from both my home & work) has always been fairly minimal. however, since SWAP day, i have been making any possible excuse to scoot my ass down to exchange street, all for the privilege of paying like $4 for something that tends to take me roughly 10 minutes to consume.

YET I CAN’T STOP.

the crack like pleasure that it affords me, appears to make the $4 surcharge fully worthwhile.

but $4 is expensive, and the $15 giftcard i had left over from xmas lasted almost about as long as it takes me to drink one of these fuckers. so in the spirit of practicality (starbucks is far) and frugality (starbucks is expensive), i decided that i would just gather the ingredients to make this mystical beverage, and assemble it myself in the kitchen lab. just think of all the dollars i would save!

HOW HARD COULD IT BE?

as it turns out, REAL HARD.

ode on a target endcap.

target is my natural habitat- inexpensive, well lit, good merchandising… but i’ve never quite managed to score the big bargains in a way that felt worth the effort. maybe it’s because i can’t walk to the target- and thus i only go there once every couple of weeks. or maybe it’s because all the really awesome deals get cleaned out super fast at the south portland store. or maybe it’s a combination of the two. whatever it is, despite my undying  love/lust for target, i’ve never really felt successful in deal mongering there- until last weekend. i don’t now what happened, but something snapped in my little brain and i think i finally figured out what i was doing wrong. here’s the secret formula:

1. arm yourself. first off, understand that every target in the universe is different. regardless of how well you prepare yourself with careful circular study and deal website stalking, what gets reduced at one store might not be reduced at another, or be reduced to a different price, or not exist at all. clearance items are wild cards that crop up and disappear suddenly like a game of discount whack-a-mole. timing is paramount, and you wouldn’t want to accidentally stumble into an amazing deal without your arsenal (because it definitely won’t be there when you come back later). basically, if you’re headed anywhere within a 15 mile radius of a target (admit it! they have a have a strong and mysterious pull), pack your damn coupon folder. and don’t forget to hit up coupons.com & the target website to shake down the best printable action. you’ll often find target-centric coupons that can be stacked with manufacturer coupons for double your pleasure (um, i mean savings).

2. stalk the endcaps. going to target with me is always an hour+ proposition (sorry boyfriend!). i generally weave my way through the clearance clothing racks (my fashion lifeline), past the $4.75 dvd shelf, and then on through beauty, eventually ending in foodstuffs. but whatever your target takedown pattern, make sure to veer off the main concourse and hit the back end of the display shelves- this is where they stow all the crap that they’re trying to get rid of (you know, the good stuff). pretty much every department in the store has  a clearance area, and they’re all worth checking out. from toys to tampons, get ready to bring on the markdowns! sure, it starts with a paltry 15% off, but over time those sexy red stickers will start piling up and piling up, and your once $5.49 facial scrub will eventually dive down to $1.36. careful now, it’s time to strike.

3. load up on gift cards. a ton of the really great target deal scenarios also result in a $5 gift card. hoard the hell out of these! you can also often get free target cards from credit card points and paid survey sites. point being, target is givin it away like a drunk chick on girls gone wild, so grab grab grab while you can can can. the only thing better than finding a great product on sale for a few pennies, is being able to pay those few pennies with zero bank account impact. $5 gift cards may not seem all that hot, but if you’re doing it right ( the coupon goddess can squeeze the bejeezus out of a target deal like no other), that $5 can last you a shockingly long time.

i still may not necessarily be able to come home with a trunk full of toilet wands like the pros, but this weekend, my target stars aligned in a way that i found very satisfying:

pantene hair spray: regular price- $3.79, marked down to $1.61. using a $1/1 from the P&G brandsaver= $.61

listerine whitening mouth rinse: regular price- $3.99, marked down to $1.98. using a $1/1 printed from coupons.com= $.98

better crocker warm delights minis (these bitches are TASTE-TEE and only have 150 calories each): regular price- $1.89, marked down to 1$1.07 with a $.75/1 coupon from coupons.com= $.32 each (i got 4)

eggo waffles: on sale for $1.75, there’s a $1/1 target printable on coupons.com that brought them down to $.75 each (i got two)

la croix sparkling water 8 packs: regular price- $2.50, there’s a sweet $1.25/1 printable on coupons.com that made them them $1.25 each (i got two)

total price tag for the goods: $5.37. not huge bragging rights, but i feel like i’m just getting warmed up. definitely putting target on the weekly circuit, i think we might have a future together.

twitter deficiency.

remember that time 4 months ago when i was lamenting about how i had lost 2 of my 6 twitter followers, and feeling very pitiful about the whole situation? well, things have turned around a bit. not only do i now have 120 followers (still sort of sad, but a distinct improvement), but i have also become a complete twitter whore. neither of these facts are probably of any real interest to most of you, but in my slutting it up all over the twitterverse (twittersphere? twittopolis?), i’ve learned a few things worth sharing:

1. don’t be scared. despite the fact that justin bieber has never not been a trending topic, twitter is not just for the youngins. actually, this article clearly shows that twitter is for grownups. so take that .

2. yeah sure i can use twitter to tell people that my dog’s farts smell like peanuts, or that i just got a bitchin high score on guitar hero. but more and more people are actually using twitter to send out  news stories, or start discussions, or to promote businesses, seminars, and networking groups. the point is that twitter right now is more thoughtful than you think. twitter is saying things that you want to hear (with a little bit about dog farts on the side).

3. but still, why am i bothering with this shameless twitter pimp? well, just about every coupon blog lady on the continent has one. instead of having to keep up with a roll call of bookmarks and daily website visits, or copious email subscriptions, you can give a quick scroll through their daily tweets- blatantly ignoring the ones that don’t interest you. find out what’s free, what’s on sale, what’s worth doing, what’s not worth doing… pick a topic- it’s all there (especially justin bieber). in the last frew months since i got my tweet on, i have:

1. been reminded that i needed to opt in to get a full size bottle of shampoo from vocalpoint.

2. learned that there was vegetarian broccoli cheddar soup @ a local coffee house that i had never been to.

3. had goodwill tweet me the color of the week, and marden’s let me know when the good stuff has arrived.

4. said something clever enough that my mommyblog hero (mindi cherry @ mom’s need to know) started following me! (spoiler- it involved hardcore hamster sex)

5. learned about a kick ass twitter management program called hootsuite. (thanks josh!)

6. been contacted by the reporter who would eventually interview me for the press herald.

7. found out that there was a monthly tweetup where my twitter friends materialize into real people.

8. been informed that the review i wrote got posted on the counter at peanut butter jelly time.

ok, so i meant for there to be 10 points, but it’s late and i just ran out of big love, so i’m going to bed. but i think my message is still clear. twitter is about connecting. whether it’s with deals, or locals, or just people who have something good to say… it has the potential to save you time, and money, and give you a reason to think or laugh. it’s everything interesting that the day has to offer, all rolled up into bite size (140 character) chunks. and you can keep the dog fart level as high or as low as you want.  come on, you’re missing it!!!

for my fellow twit-hos, who’s your favorite follow? (and how can i be following you?)