the shame of the parental hand out.

9 04 2010

i am one of 5 children (all girls in fact). growing up, this meant hardcore hand-me downs, crowded bathrooms, that my guidance counselor didn’t know my name (4 of us were in high school at the same time), and that when i graduated from high school (save for birthday gifts and helping pay for college), the hand-out money completely dried up. when you have that many kids, being both equitable and economical is tantamount. which isn’t to say that my parents are not loving and generous people.  it just means that my mom hasn’t slipped me a twenty since i was 17, and i’m ok with that. at this point in my life, i think it would actually be really weird and awkward.

and speaking of weird and awkward, here come the future in-laws! actually, i really love them. when i was married before, i always used to fantasize that my current in-laws were actually my now future in-laws (um… still sleep deprived- does that make sense?).  anyway, they’re great, but they are professional level money slippers. last week, we took them to po’ boys and pickles to thank them for being generally wonderful and generous of both their time and their money while we’ve been fixing up the ole condo (future-dad built us the most amazing dvd shelf). because when you really love someone, you say it with sticky toffee pudding.  anyhow, we basically had to wrestle them to the ground just to get them to let us pay. but THEN, they slipped the boyfriend a couple of twenties while i was in the bathroom! no matter what we do to try and show our gratitude, they immediately undo it as soon as i leave the room (they boyfriend is weak when it comes to free money).

so here’s today’s major dilemma: as you might already know, we need to materialize $3750 by june 1st to pay for our share of a new roof. we have the money, but it seriously depletes our savings cushion in a way that is both scary and uncomfortable. so obviously, we’re a bit stressed about it. the future-rents know about this, and of course at easter dinner…. out comes the checkbook. had there not been a giant ham there, i would have strongly considered throwing myself across the table to knock it out of their hands.  in hindsight, ham pants would have probably been a better option than taking the cash. it’s not enough to cover the whole thing, but it makes a SERIOUS DENT. which is great, but i feel really terrible about taking it, especially when i know we can afford to pay for it on our own. in my head, we’re grown-ups and we should sort out our financial issues together- not together with his parents.  there’s no way in hell that i can convince him to give it back. so now what? how do i say thank you? how do i not feel like i will always owe them something? how do i get them to stop!? am i being a complete spaz? should i just take the money and not give it another thought?

lousy smarch weather.

1 03 2010

life is hilarious sometimes.  and by hilarious, i mean cruel and tragic. so after blowing all my cash on gambling and the sandwich party, i decided that march would be the month where i try to make it all back. the truth is that many (most?) people are completely without a savings cushion. even though i finally have a little bit tucked away (hardly the recommended 3-6 months of expenses… but it’s a start!), i’ve been free ballin for my entire life- one lost paycheck away from complete financial ruin. wow. that’s really scary when i say it out loud.

the plan is as follows: imagine that i have no savings, and that a serious financial emergency has occurred where i need $1000 above and beyond what i get paid this month. what do i do?

the irony here is that i woke up to some semi-serious bedroom water damage (see photo) this morning (after fuck-storm 2010), and that if my insurance company doesn’t play nice, i actually could have some significant unexpected expense on my hands. surprise! screw hypothetical, i actually need the money. so how am i going to get it?

here are my ideas so far:

1. ebay & craigslist selling my stuff bonanza.

2. blood plasma.

3. labor ready.

4. amateur night at PT showclub.

5. odd jobs.

6. cash in bottles & cans.

7. cash in loose change around the house (found money jar excluded).

8. make stuff for etsy.

that’s all i got. what else can i do? no good idea will be refused!