weekend pickthrough- it’s totally still sunday edition.

i have never seen more truly awful images in my life than i have today google image searching the word "sunday" . this was supposed to be a picture of a pair of "days of the week" underpants. but apparently, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET. good day.

ok. so i posted about my adventures at the mittapheap instead of doing the pickthrough yesterday… i just didn’t want to have 2 pickthroughs back to back. i could have skipped it entirely, but then there were a bunch of hot links that i didn’t want to get cold. also, i was sick. also, daylight saving time… i blame everyone/everything else but me. (and i’m positive that assessment will hold up in a court of law.) (did i mention that i watched 3 seasons of law & order SVU this weekend?)

so yeah, let’s keep this quick and dirty. here are the goods:

yes, auto-europe even has travel guides for vampire slayers.

joseph gordon levitt vs. kittens. NO CONTEST.

48 hours in lewiston auburn. (no really, it’s cool, i promise)

everyone loves an infographic about graveyard symbolism. right?

i never tire of looking at pretty girls in pretty clothes.

oh god. i guess i’ll be buying local honey from here on out…

this sock bun tutorial is going to revolutionize the way i handle my frequently unwashed hair.

i haven’t painted my nails in years, yet i find myself fully obsessed with the supernaturally perfect manicures on this nail polish blog.

a totally weird article about outsourcing fast food drive throughs… (or is it spelled THRU?)

why don’t i find awesome shit like this when i go thrifting?

forcing people to look like they’re shoplifting- for art. sorry lady, i don’t want your damn dirty break-up sweater.

weekend pickthrough- icy dip edition.

ok, first let’s forget that it’s not the weekend. then, let’s give me a free pass for not posting last night because i was sick, and had a ridiculously insane weekend that included dunking my pasty flesh into icy ocean water while wearing polar bear ears and a tutu. i can’t say that my cold is any better for having done it (i’m fearing that i may have risked a sinus infection), but it was actually a pretty amazing experience. first and foremost, i did it with my two best friends (plunging your head under water in the middle of february is a whole lot easier when you’re holding hands and counting to 3 together). secondly, we raised almost $1,000 for camp sunshine (which made me feel pretty fucking great because i HATE fundraising). it was COLD AS SHIT, and i thought i might lose some digits to frostbite as soon as my wet flesh hit the icy air (36 degrees my ass), but it was over fast- and most of what i remember is the feeling of ultimate victory for having done something so ballsy, and the part where i got tipsy on mimosas and ate breakfast gnocchi at the front room afterward with some of my favorite people. verdict: polar dipping is incredible (if somewhat stupid and crazy). i think this week, i will write some original content for the wcsh6 blog about “how to be a polar dipper”, because when i was trying to figure out what it was going to be like, there was jack shit for resources.

and now, some random crap!

i don’t even know how to drive… yet somehow, i want a landrover now.

OH GOD NO!

who says that recent law school grads are having a tough time finding jobs?

the absence of the towels.

i’d never even heard of a lustron home before, and thanks to this article, now I’M OBSESSED. (too bad there aren’t any in maine)

this was funny in 2000, and it’s still funny now.

do you know the unspoken rules of the urinal?

fitness instructors of america- get your best hand job concentration face on and get ready to be the next shake weight trainer!

no seriously, there’s actually a movie called JOHNNY SKIDMARKS. (has anyone seen it?)

siiiiiiiick.

took a day off of work today, which i never do. slept all day and still exhausted. sent the boyfriend to the cvs to pick up the kind of cold medicine where they don’t put the boxes on the shelf- only pictures of the boxes. don’t they know i’m too sick right now to try and make meth?

anyway, after a day of shaking and drooling on my couch, i had promised a dear friend i would host an engagement party for her. which actually turned out really amazing… except for the part where it’s 2 am now, i’m like 3 mimosas in the bag (vitamin c!), and i have to do a polar dip in like 9 hours. oh, and i still kinda feel like death. fuck.

but i’m trying to write SOMETHING every day. although maybe i should just get my own yelling bird to fill in when i’m a wreck (which lately is often).

looking a little pastie.

a couple of months ago, i took my top off in a bar full of strangers and lived to tell the tale. i promised to give you all the full rundown sometime in the indeterminate future… well, that future is now- and this piece is 2 STRUTs for the price of one (one as a STRUTter and one as a not so casual observer). it’s posted on over at the observer, but their direct link is a little screwy right now, so you can find the piece in its entirety below. and in case you’re local and didn’t get a chance to see/feel/taste/participate in the carnage that was my  STRUT performance, i’ll be shakin it one final time tomorrow (october 14th) at geno’s. come support/join/ogle me, or at least come point and laugh.

Confessions of a late night STRUTter- A lesson in bringing it.

As a woman on a firm trajectory toward her mid-thirties who packed on an extra 30 lbs. 2 years ago and is still using “I got divorced” as an excuse for her somewhat doughy physique, one might not guess that I’d be jumping at the chance to get mostly naked in a room full of strangers. Two months ago, I probably wouldn’t have guessed that either. But then, burlesque happened.

weekend pickthrough- slow recovery edition.

well, it’s been a long and miserable phlegm filled week. again, i apologize for the lack of posting. as previously stated, i was wallowing in a pit of used tissues and self pity. although i’ve been warned by the majority of my friends that this cold (now dubbed “the plague”, and apparently tearing through the portland metro area like jon gosselin at an ed hardy sale [or some equally apt but funnier and more timely analogy]) likes to linger for upwards of 10 days, i am at least finally ambulatory, and can make it through the night without jamming paper towels up my nose. of course now the boyfriend is sick (oops!), and trying to take care of him and the dog while still pretty much feeling like i’ve been wrecked by a monster truck is not making my life any easier. however, i have managed to steal a moment of consciousness and semi-clarity to send out the weekend pickthrough. all should be back on schedule as of tomorrow (barring further disaster).

the trouble with coupons (via hyperbole and a half)

strongly considering getting my masters degree from here.

there’s always room to hone your skills and improve your talents by killing more people. (and other video game wisdom)

i think this might be the most terrifying job that i’ve ever heard of (can you think of something worse?)

should i write a novel, or grow a moustache in november?

trapping shit in acrylic, the musical. (ok, not really)

best bathroom sign ever.

a website that reviews lifetime original movies (cameo appearance by kate from a sweet disorder). why didn’t i think of this first!

disappearing act.

it’s not that i don’t love you , it’s just that i’m horribly horribly sick. since monday, i’ve been spending all my free time (that i should have been spending writing this blog including and especially the new “worth the trip” feature that i attempted to start last week) oozing mucous from my various orifices. oh, and drooling. my head is so congested right now that i can hear my own heartbeat in my right ear. i don’t know how it works, i just know that it’s gross and i feel like dying. anyway, i’m sorry. i hope to be semi-functional enough to write something tomorrow, but i make no promises. although if you’re really lucky, i’ll write something in a feverish delirium that will confuse and delight! or maybe i just lapse into a whisky and dayquil coma and you won’t hear from me for a couple of days. either way, i haven’t forgotten about you or this blog. i promise!

to entertain you while you’re waiting for me to break out of my snot cocoon, i have some exciting news for everyone! remember that time i had that ridiculous sandwich party? do you also remember how i vowed never to have another house party again? well, as it turns out, i’m a bit fat liar. sort of. i may never have a regular house part again, but come october 9th, i’ll be having a sexy 18+ house party! apparently durex is going to send me a big fat box of condoms and lube (and a vibrator for the hostess!), and we’re all going to get blitzed and watch a very serious video about BECOMING ORGASMIC. that’s all i know for now (do you really need to know more?), but details to come.

bummed out.

i decided to take a little break from posting this weekend because things got really crappy for a minute and i just wanted to hide in a hole at the bottom of the sea. it’s all for the best really, all i really would have been capable of yesterday was mashing my hands against the keyboard in rage, or maybe coughing up a little phlegm. not as compelling and one might like. the grisly details:

1. i am still sick. 2 weeks now, and i’m not feeling any better. in addition to being a mucous filled sack, i apparently have also developed a case of glossopharyngeal neuralgia (intermittent stabbing throat pain) that may or may not go away when i get better.

2. i was really excited to be having my very first sponsored giveaway next week, until i found out that the product mysteriously contains GELATIN. as a faithful veg, i just can’t bring myself to pimp the meat products on my blog- no matter how plush the swag. (more on this later)

3. i just got a hot and heavy not from my condo association president who says that me and the boyfriend unit and i need to come up with $5000 by june to pay for a new roof. you mean those cutting boards we nailed over the missing shingles aren’t doing the job? fuck. good thing i didn’t blow my amateur night load yet, looks like i’m gonna need it.

4. did i mention that my insurance company isn’t returning my calls about the water damage that occurred over a month ago?

5. i got my 2nd really mean comment today, and although i realize that it is a hazard of the trade… it makes me sad when people who don’t care for my opinion about something attack me directly, instead of defending or presenting their own opinion. just because we disagree on one particular point doesn’t make me a demon, does it?

anyway, you can see why a girl might be a touch on the grouchy side. i had high hopes for this weekend, and on top of the crappy crap that happened, i didn’t get fuck all done (unless you count staying up until 4 am updating my linkedin profile). i enter into this week on a “$5000 in the shit” super low, with no sleep and no clean socks. oh, and i’m probably going to have to send back that sweet free bathrobe.

sick day.

i’ve been bragging a lot about how i never get sick. last time i did, i barfed for two days. this time, i have become the world’s most foremost producer of mucous. i am grotesque. i spent the better half of the day at work sitting at my desk trying to will my brain case not to explode and cover my whole office with goo. the latter half, i spent face down on my couch whacked out on dayquil. why is this relevant you ask?  well, i speak today on the subject of good timing.

yesterday after work, before the snot avalanche began, i took a trip to rite aid in search of toilet paper. how dare i run out in the first place, but especially during a week where nothing that great is happening in the paper products category.  but poor planning and making do are what i’m good for, so here’s what i came up with:

2 12-packs of cottonelle on sale for $5.99 each.
6 boxes puffs plus (with lotion- for my mangled nose) @ $.79 each.
1 box kashi heart to heart cereal @ $4.99.

total: $21.71

minus:

$5/$20 rite aid video values coupon.
2 $1/1 cottonelle video values coupons (one from last month and one from this month).
$1.50 in random cottonelle newspaper coupons that i had in the stash.
$1/6 puffs plus coupon (again from the newspaper stash).
1 free box of kashi heart to heart cereal or crackers coupon from vocalpoint (i fucking love those guys, and they don’t even pay me to do it).

= $6.22.

no, it’s not free. but in a pinch, 24 rolls of decent toilet paper, a box of fancy pants cereal, and 6 boxes of tissues for $6 is still pretty damn decent.  but back to the good timing. the universe may be punishing me for bragging about my iron immune system (seeming more like aluminum lately), but at least it had mercy enough to get me to buy 6 boxes of tissues in advance. might i add, 3 of which are already open and half gone (upstairs, downstairs, and work).

weekend pickthrough- franchise invasion edition

maybe it’s because i’m in mourning for corey, or just because i’m rocking a heinous cold, but this week was kind of a bummer. i felt overtired and out of touch. uninspired. usually i collect a bucketload of linkworthy material over the course of the week that i weed out for the pickthrough. but this week, i found myself with a mere 2 links in my holding tank, neither one of which were particularly amazing.  last night i stayed up too late trying to claw through a week’s worth of material and came up with something, anything, but i’m still not satisfied. however, the time has come to move on. be it somewhat uninspired, i present to you a few small morsels of note:

r.i.p. corey haim. i kept a picture of you under my mattress when i was 10.

trader joe’s is comin! (we hope. a lot.)

and so is johnny rockets! admittedly, i haven’t heard dick about johnny rockets, but they have choclate malts  and a boca burger, so i’m not complaining.

zen and the art of orange cutting.

just because your contract rider says brown rice & kale, doesn’t mean that you don’t actually really want twinkies.

the classiest possible way to respond to a non-vitation.

post-weekend pickthrough- barfs edition

on account of the barfing, i didn’t get a chance to do the weekend pickthrough on friday like i’m supposed to- so i present you with this slightly abbreviated and slighly delayed version:

don’t get sick! seasonal flu clinics are in action in portland maine, and they’re free for the uninsured (or practically uninsured). $10 for everyone else.

annie’s mac and cheese for cheap cheap cheap!

so being sick is really boring. after the first day of writhing in pain was over, two days of weakness and lethargy ensued. i watched like 6 movies, and played this for HOURS AND HOURS. it’s kind of amazing. better than brain age, and you don’t need a nintendo ds. so good that i might just pay the $6.70 a month to keep my lobes in shape.

my shaw’s deal is looking a little wilted in comparison. i must make her my coupon sensei!

i love trash tv, and conveyor belt of love is my new favorite show. too bad that it’s not actually on the regular tv schedule yet. check out the clips, and guess which one of the dudes is actually a transgender performance artist- brilliance!

get ready for snow at rock bottom prices. (plus it’s really good exercise).