weekend pickthrough: a lesson in customer service edition.

today, something really lame happened. possibly my lamest retail run-in ever.

i was at the mall trying on dresses, and was feeling uncertain about a strapless number with somewhat poorly located pockets. still pretty cute, and at $19.99… definitely worth consideration.

so i threw a belt on it, walked out of the dressing room, and asked the nearest sales associate if she thought it was too poofy around the waist. as in: is the excess pocket fabric making it unflattering? (i may have even motioned to the bunchiness with my hand.)

apparently i wasn’t clear enough, because her response knocked me on my ass:

holy spring cleaning jackpot batman: an ode to free stuff.

despite the fact that my attempts at going dairy free are not going quite  as planned (and certainly not providing the result that i think the silk company was looking for), i am still grateful to the fine folks at bzzagent for hooking me up with the free soymilk. i love free stuff, and i am always completely shocked when companies are willing to throw it at me just because i MIGHT be willing to discuss their product online.

remember that time that time i got that full sized bottle of pantene in the mail from vocalpoint? i sent that shit to preble street, and nobody even noticed. why just last week they offered me a free pint of some sort of flavored creamer (which will hopefully go a bit better than my last unsavory creamer incident).

but back to bzzagent. after many months of not getting offered crap from them (free redbox rental- big whoop), i got the soy milk offer AND an SC johnson cleaning product offer all in one week. my silk package arrived in an envelope, just coupons and a handful of propaganda that i didn’t read (sorry silk!) (sort of). so i figured that my spring cleaning kit would also show up in booklet form.

instead, i got this:

lactose intolerant.

well, for a few days at least. those crazy cats over at bzzagent sent me free silk soymilk coupons under the condition that i give up milk for 10 days (like it’s some sort of challenge or something). not one to back away from a challenge (especially one that involves me getting free stuff), i decided that i’m not only giving up milk for 10 days, i’m giving  all dairy.

i have sort of a cheese and butter problem to start with, even though my personal ethics would really love for me to be a vegan. i thought this would be a good way for me to test the dairy free waters, without any major commitments or expectations. although i already spent over $100 on dairy free groceries that i am convinced will help me make it through the tough times that i assume to be ahead. what i’ve learned so far:

5 things you’re not looking for at the goodwill.

it’s been a pretty dry couple of weeks at the good ole goodwill. whether it’s the ebb and flow of donated goods or just bad timing, i had every intention of putting together some hot discount outfits for a little fashion show- but nothing. however, all was not entirely lost. as i was scanning every rack in the house, i made a little mental list of things that i feel are totally awesome but completely overlooked at thrift shops.

1. hand rolled silk scarves. i feel like nobody ever hits the scarf area.  sure, there’s tons of stupid eyelash scarves, nascar bandanas, and shiny poly-satins. but if you just close your eyes and feel around, almost invariably you will find a high end silk number with hand rolled edges tucked in amongst the drek.  i haven’t found an hermes yet (although i won’t give up), but i did find a pretty amazing vintage diane von furstenberg last year.

2. cashmere. using a similar technique to the silk scarf diving, run your hands along the sweater racks and practice your fiber guessing skills. stuffed like little time bombs within the shrunken wools and acrylic xmas sweaters, you’ll find the odd cashmere gem tucked away.  if you’re really lucky, you might actually find something wearable, although they generally tend to be of the “big ole boxy” varitey.  buy them anyway! with a few remedial sewing skills, you can make them into scarves, pillows, blankets, or if you’re slightly more intermediate, you can cut them up and make them into cuter sweaters.

3. mix tapes. that is, if you still have a tape deck. whether taped off of the radio in the early nineties- or made to woo a high school biology lab partner crush, discarded mix tapes from days gone by are nothing short of amazing. with a going rate around $.99 (i generally find the salvation army has a better selection than the goodwill), even if they turn out to be a bette midler/josh groban mastermix- it’s totally worth the price for the adventure.

4. classic books. at any given goodwill in the universe, you’ll find at least 4 copies of “divine secrets of the ya ya sisterhood”. push those out of the way (way out of the way). for every 20 crappy harlequin romance/oprah book/cat who mysteries that clutter up the shelves, there is at least one nearly pristine piece of classic literature (generally cast off by some functionally illiterate college student being forced to take an intro literature class). they’re classic because they’re GOOD people. really good. and for usually about $1.99 (or less), it’s definitely time for you to start building your master library.

5. lingerie. ok, i know this one sounds counter intuitive and kind of gross. i would just like to clarify that i am in no way recommending purchasing USED UNDERWEAR or frankly any lingerie garment with a crotch. yuck. however, because of that ick-factor, the unmentionables section of most thrift stores get much less traffic than the rest of the store. if you’re willing to put away the germaphobia for a second, you’ll find a pretty amazing selection of vintage slips, nighties, and peignoirs dating from the 40s to the 70s. as a bonus, i also routinely find decent looking bras with the tags still on. weird i know, but worth looking!