worth the trip- useless product bonanza.

the entire back page of the rite aid flier this week is stuffed full of single check rebate freebies, none of which i actually want. my chapstick peanut (yes, i have a peanut shaped jar on my coffee table filled with chapstick) is overflowing, and fuck if i know what a nasa-dock is. i’m ripping off the offending back page, and tossing aside like a cheap whore. in my mind the only things worth pursuing are:

1. better than free gain dish detergent. $.89 with a $1/1 coupon in last weekend’s paper. $.11 in pocket, no waiting for rebates, no +anythings.

2. because my udders are always getting chapped in the winter time, i might pick up the udderly smooth lotion for $1- free after $1 +UP.

3. according to iheartriteaid.com there is a $2/1 coupon floating around for playtex tampons. combined with a $2/2 video values coupon, and a $2 +UP reward… blah blah blah… free. except that i can’t find the coupon. what i can find are 2 $1.50/1 coupon that will work almost as well. $1 for 2 boxes of tampons= not too shabby.

4. on my quest for free makeup, i’m also going to check up on the 40% off maybelline. apparently there’s a $2/1 on the video values site (along with a coupon for something called “fast results herpes” that i chose not to click on), as well as some $3/2 coupons that i grabbed off a tearpad at the ulta last week that might add up to freeness… or at least super cheapness (which is also acceptable).

cvs is ultrabunk this week in a way that is almost hilarious (except for the part where it’s tragic). sure, there’s some free toothpaste, but i’m gonna pass on the blood sugar monitors and crap soda. really, the only notable thing at cvs right now is something so outrageously awful, that i can’t even believe that it exists. ladies & gentlemen, i present to you the icraig tower stereo system. now, i don’t know dick about stereo equipment, but i’m pretty sure this is a flaming piece of $99 shit (despite being advertised as a “red hot deal”.

shaws was marginally better with some good deals on things that i like.

1. green giant boxed veggies. i like to keep these in the freezer for when i feel like i’m dying, but i haven’t been to the grocery store in 3 weeks. sort of “in case of emergency break glass” vegetables. $1 each with a $1/3 coupon from like 4 newspapers, they’re only $.66 each. although the real winner is the $.60/3 coupon at smartsource right now. doubled to $1.20, the veggies are a mere $.60 each. a $.50/1 printable doubled= FREE. thanks for the tip anastasiav! i can’t believe i paid $.60! what an ass!

2. i actually missed out on the cheap ass dragone ricotta cheese this week thanks to some local shelf cleaners (it was gone by saturday morning!), but perhaps they’ve restocked by now. on sale for BOGO, with $.55/1 printables from coupons.com, i’m guessing you can grab yours for around a dollar. ricotta freezes really well, so stock up!

3. fage yogurt is on sale for $1.29. shit is generally like $1.89 or more (for a single yogurt!), which is ludicrous, but it’s the only yogurt that i like. also, you can grab a $.50/1 from their website (one print per computer- boo!) and double that to get at least one of your yogurts for $.29.

4. what is it about the back pages this week? BUNK SHAW’S– BUNK!. apparently if you buy 5 of the kraft or shaws products on the back page, you get a $5 catalina for your next shopping trip. it could be a good deal, except that i don’t actually want any of this bullshit. 5 jars of shitty peanut butter for $3.85 is probably your best deal, although you can also get 5 boxes of capri sun for $5. the only thing i would actually want is the kraft shredded cheese, ($1.40 a bag if you buy 5  at $2.50/each and use those $1/2 from the 9/26 smartsource) and i don’t have any room in my fridge after the $2 sargento bonanza a couple weeks ago.

target is a minefield of halloween candy and baby crap this week. decent deal on $2 fiber one bars, and this sweet ass submarine shaped shower caddy… but really nothing. NOTHING!

some final bits and pieces… hot bonus coupon for 40% off your entire purchase of paints, pastels, pencils and markers at michael’s in addition to their regular 40% off any one item coupon. $10 t-shirts until the 14th at threadless, 20% off any one item at ulta, and my boyfriend informs me that $59.99 for a 1 TB external hard drive at staples is a hot deal (is it? i’ll never know).

overall, it’s a whole lotta nothing this week. i may just skip this bitch all together.

worth the trip- an inauspicious beginning.

so i’ve been feeling a little (a lot) guilty for my complete lack of deal mongering lately.  the humble coupon lady roots of this blog have been lost somewhere along the way, and i don’t care for it. my original mission had been to make the coupon clipping, corner cutting lifestyle more accessible for single childless jerks like me, and i want to try to bring that element back a little bit. that said, it’s a fact:  i will never be a slick and sexy deal hunting machine. however, i do think it’s a worthwhile exercise to really take a look at the weekly deals, and make a perfectly edited list of everything that’s worth bringing home. not just what’s free or what’s cheap, but what’s actually good stuff. thus, i bring to you a new weekly feature: worth the trip.

unfortunately, as with most beta testing phases, there are a few bugs. for example, there really isn’t shit worth getting this week. i had hoped deeply that big lots might have a new shipment of $3 movies, or that target would have some sort of crazy gift card deal… but nothing. no, WORSE than nothing- BABY SALE?! or what about walmart’s pet sale (hasn’t that iams food been recalled enough?). lame.

cvs: if i were going to bother to head over to the cvs this week, i would pick up 2 packs of trident layers gum.  at $.99 each with $.99 in extrabucks back (limit 1), you can get 2 packs for free when you use this coupon. gum is good to have around, and this layers shit is pretty tasty. but seriously, that’s it this week for cvs. i’ll probably pass.

rite aid: not much better than cvs. i will be scoring on the free crest ($2.99 with $2 in +up rewards and a $1/1 coupon from last weekend’s p&g brandsaver). and if my sources (deal seeking mom) are correct, the right guard that’s on bogo (online price $3.99) will also be free after two of these printable babies. you can also get some free biotrue contact lens solution… but i don’t wear contacts and it’s not really donatable, so i’m gonna skip it.

shaw’s: again (are we sensing a pattern here?), nothing earth shattering, but a couple of decent deals on foods that i regularly eat. morningstar fake meats are all on sale for 2/$7. this is generally unremarkable (knowing that you can get them at target for $3.24 most of the time), but shaw’s does the double coupon thang, and i scored a bunch of $.50/1 coupons off a tearpad in the south portland store (don’t worry, i took almost all of them at first, but then felt guilty and threw a bunch back when no one was looking). $2.50 each still isn’t dirt cheap, but it’s about as good as it gets when it comes to morningstar. secondly, i think i’ll score a few larabars in the cart as well. you can rarely get these pricey fuckers for less than a dollar, and since they’re on sale for $.99 each, you can get 3 for $.50/ea. with this doubled coupon.

and that’s IT. not very exciting (or timely at this point), but it is my hope that with less of a vacation hangover and a more proactive spirit, i can get this going as a regular sunday feature (and get the weekend pickthrough back to friday where it belongs).  hopefully, the shopping universe will also give me something a little sexier to report than just free gum. now, i’m fully capable of missing things (or generally not paying attention), so if you see something awesome that i missed, please let me know. i want to know what you’re buying!!! (so i can get to the store first and clean them out).

weekend drugstore dash.

i’m a chronic overscheduler. between the job and the blog and friends and other related and non-related nonsense, i don’t have a ton of free time for things like couponing. which is kind of ridiculous and stupid, because i write a blog about couponing, which probably means i’m not doing a very good job. but anyway, i finally managed to steal a pocket of time this week to filter the expired crap out of my coupon folder and see what i had going on that i might not want to waste (like i usually do- see copious incidences of me being a coupon asshole below). shit, is my rite aid allergy rewards check already expiring on the 15th? i feel like the last one they sent me stayed fresh for way longer. too bad there’s not really anything amazing worth blowing $20 on this week at rite aid, and of course i’m hitting the stores on SATURDAY after everything good has probably already been cleaned off the shelves… but i didn’t buy $75 worth of allergy medication just to throw my rebate away. and well, a girl has to make do:

28 count prilosec that i require for life (and also because i’m an asshole who missed the 42 count sale last week), $18.99 with $3/1 coupon from the most recent P&G insert, and $4 SCR= $11.99.

2 boxes of kotex U tampons (you know, the hipster tampons with the crazy colors and wacky commercials) for $7/2 with 2 $1/1 coupons (they’re everywhere these days, especially if you got any of the rampant free samples), and $3/SCR= $1 each. according to the lady behind the counter, stacking is no longer an option at rite aid. you get as many coupons as you have items. to prove said theory- 3rd rite aid video values coupon was rejected. boo-urns 😦

speaking of video values, i rarely actually pay attention to the commercials you have to watch, but was totally intrigued by the tresemme dry shampoo. as a girl who often oversleeps on work days and ends up poorly camouflaging her dirty hair in pony tails, this seems like a pretty interesting option. even if it can just take the edge off the dirt, it will still be an improvement. review forthcoming. tresemme products on sale for $3.29/1, and i used my $2/1 rite aid video values coupon= $1.29.

i needed a few more filler items to make sure i got my $20 worth, so i grabbed a nivea bodywash for $5.39 (again, i missed it when it was free last week- fuck me), and used that $4/1 coupon that everyone was so excited about= $1.39. i also grabbed a box of puffs plus for $.99, and used a $1/1 coupon that i got from vocalpoint (i also have 3 $.50/1 coupons i’m hoarding until they got on sale at shaw’s and i can get more freebies).

i’m too tired/lazy to do the math, but somehow i got $.80 back in change after the $20 gift certificate, and $5/$25 that i got for activating my wellness card. btw, you should totally get one of those. and don’t forget, i’ll also be getting $7 back in single check rebates. AND there was a sweet $1/1 NYC cosmetics tearpad that i pillaged. i did leave a few behind though, so if you’re in the sketchy east end rite aid area (follow the trail of empty high gravity beer cans), go and grab them!

as it turned out, cvs was having some incredible deals this week, and since i never go there anymore, they’re presently trying to win me back with $/$$ coupons. this week i got $3/$15, which is good- because it’s a no pressure kind of amount.

crest pro-health toothpaste for $3.50 with $3.50 back in extrabucks! i had one coupon for $1/1, but the limit was 2, so i went for it anyway= $1 moneymaker.

again with the hipster feminine hygiene! this time $4.99 for a box of neon pantiliners- with $4.99 back in extrabucks and a $1/1 coupon= $1 moneymaker.

right guard something or other with the number 5 on it was on sale for $2.69 each with $2 in extrabucks. the limit was 2, and i also had a $3/2 coupon from coupons.com, and ended up yet another $1.62 richer.

probably my most impressive find (since is wasn’t mentioned on the majority of the coupon blogs) was a use for my stash of $2/1 pantene coupons from vocalpoint. on sale for $6.97/2 (random!) with $3 back in extrabucks, i again made $.03 on the deal.

with the $3/$15 and $9.50 in extrabucks, i paid $5.75 oop, and got a whopping $19 back in ecbs, hot damn!

with the exception of 15 very unfortunate minutes spent dressing room wrestling with a cheap lauren conrad for kohls zipper that made me bleed in not one but 2 places (and almost required that i call for help to get me free from its clutches), these are the kind of days that help me remember why i started this crazy blog in the first place. paying retail (or paying at all) is for suckers. i made money buying things today and there isn’t a side eye in the world that could make me stop.

corrections/retractions/apologies

one of my very favorite frugal blogs (and local no less), the portland penny pincher, has a little thing she calls frugal fuck-ups. ok, actually she demurely calls them frugal f-ups, but we know what she’s talking about. basically, it’s any attempt at saving money gone horribly wrong. a while ago, i informed her that the next time i had a really serious couponing cock-up, i would be giving her a little shout out. well, today is the day.

so several days ago, i had a big ole boner about the $.96 zyrtec deal. i had it all plotted out. i would go to the 2 peninsula rite aids (both sketchy as hell) on alternating days, completing my mission, and spreading things out enough so that the rite aid cashiers don’t think i’m making crystal meth or something.

day 1. grabbed the wrong zyrtec coupon (the $2 instead of the $4 for the liquid gels), and i actually needed the pills that night so i had to go through with it. $18.99 minus $3/$15 and $2/1 zyrtec coupon. $13.99 OOP.

*got sick in here somewhere and didn’t make it to rite aid again until thursday*

day 2. had all the coupons this time, just in case. good thing. terrifying west end rite aid didn’t have any of the 25 count liquid gels. gave myself a quarter sized blister walking a mile across town to get there, and refused to leave empty handed. $18.99 minus $3/$15 and $2/1 zyrtec coupon. $13.99 OOP.

day 3. back to my neighborhood rite aid with the drunks (well, the familiar drunks). finally, they have the 25 count liquid gels, and i have the right coupons. sort of. as it turn out, the $2/1 from the rite aid video values site is for the 40 count only. damn. also, i’m hungry so i buy a too expensive granola bar (fullbar) $2.39, and a bottled water $.99. $3.38 for the snack plus $18.99 for the pills, and minus $4/1 zyrtec coupon and a $5/20 from the rite aid video values site. $13.39 OOP.

day 4. it’s saturday, and somehow find my way to the gorham rite aid, hoping to find more liquid gels. bunk. it is cleaner and with less people buying malt liquor, but they only have the 40 and 70 count liquid gels left. i dig out a $2/1 zyrtec coupon that i got from somewhere, knowing that the $18.99 price will be gone tomorrow. oh, and somewhere there’s some cadbury mini eggs in there. fuck. $18.99 minus $3/$15 and $2/1 zyrtec coupon, plus $.88 for the candy. $14.87 OOP.

total: $56.24 minus $25 J&J SCR, and $20 zyrtec allergy rewards= $11.24.

um… not exactly $.96.

still better than the $50 a month i was paying when it was a prescription…. but i really need to pay more attention next time! check minus, room for improvement.

the glory of medical inconveniences.

as i have mentioned before, i have been blessed with a cornucopia of excessively irritating, but non life-threatening conditions. allergies, athsma, acid reflux… and that ‘s only the As. i am insured, which is a g-d miracle, but in the last 3 years, 2 of my daily medications have gone OTC (that’s over the counter for those of you who don’t live at the drugstore). in some ways, this is good. i don’t have to fuck around with prescriptions running out or doctor visits. and in many cases, OTC medication is cheaper than its prescription counterpart. unfortunately, in some cases it is not, and there’s no insurance policy that can help defray the cost. for many years, i payed $50 a month @ full retail for my priosec (acid reflux) and zyrtec (heinous allergies). good luck finding $600 a year hiding in the couch cushions to pay for it all…

that is until rite aid and i took a roll in the hay. and this week, we’re rolling hard. 4 days, 100 pills of zyrtec (the liquid gels are the better deal), $.96.

it’s a very simple operation really, (especially if your rite aid happens to be across the street):

day one. buy one 25 count bottle of zyrtec liquid gels. using the $3/$15 coupon here. the $2/1 rite aid video values coupon here (sadly, you only get one). and the $4/1 coupon here.

day two. buy one 25 count bottle of zyrtec liquid gels. using the $3/$15 coupon here. and the $4/1 coupon here.

day three. buy one 25 count bottle of zyrtec liquid gels. using the $3/$15 coupon here. and the $4/1 coupon here.

day four. buy one 25 count bottle of zyrtec liquid gels. um… i think you get the picture…

next, go here and enter your receipts.

then, wait patiently for 6-8 weeks until you receive your single check rebate in the amount of $25 (thanks J&J), and your allergy rewards certificate in the amount of $20.

finally, enjoy 3+ months of allergy-freeness for practically no money.

for the non-believers, i present you the math:

4 bottles 25 count zyrtec liquid gels @ $18.99= $75.96
minus $16 in $4/1 coupons
minus $2 in video values coupons
minus $12 in $3/$15 coupons

= $45.96

wrap it up in a $25 single check rebate for purchasing $50 in johnson & johnson products & a $20 allergy rewards check for buying $75 worth of antihistamines…

bottom line: $.96

suck it allergies.

double dipping.

i guess this makes me kind of a sucky coupon lady, but i’m not really that into rebates. sure, rite aid single check rebates are great and all, because you enter your receipts online and then they keep track of the rest. as for any rebate that involves saving receipts, filling out forms BY HAND, and hauling my fat carcass to the post office…mmmm not so much.

i’m sure at this point in my life my general laziness has cost me hundreds of dollars in would-be cash back. oh, and free grapefruit spoons. i completely screwed the pooch on that one too. but every now and then (ok, almost never), the stars will align just right, and my laziness will somehow no longer be a factor in my ability to get more free money/stuff.  remember last weekend when i got in just under the wire (by about 30 minutes) for my rite aid P&G “grab the gold” rebate? most people bought their stuff ages ago (and probably got better deals). but not me! and now, this poor planning and general laziness is coming back to benefit me. woot!

via a twitter tip from savvychicsavings earlier this week, i found out that there was a $100 P&G coupon book up for grabs for those of who can manage to spend $50 on P&G stuff between 2/1-4/15. hey wait, i just did that! and magically, i managed not to throw out my receipt. it’s a g-d christmas miracle.

now if i can only manage to wander to the post office before april, we’ll be all set.

in the event that you are more enthusiastic about receipt hoarding and envelope licking than i am, there are actually a shit ton of rebates out there ripe for the plucking. get to it!

picking up the slack.

i’ve had kind of a lame couple of weeks on the deal seeking front. i wonder if the checkers at my hoboville rite aid miss me, or even notice that i’m gone? last time i was in there (@ 5 pm about 2 weeks ago), i was the only person in line not buying malt liquor. i’m sure that must count for something in their eyes.

anyway, friday night i realized that the “grab the gold” rebate that i had be so enthusiastic about was ending on saturday, and somehow i had only managed to log in enough p&g products to get a $5 gift card. oops.  a combination of crap deals and not enough time had lead me astray into the paths of laziness. i had lost another $5 ECBs (they expired quietly in the back of my coupon folder several days earlier), and i decided that i wouldn’t let my chronic sloth claim my gift card too.  i had $55.51 to go, a $5/$25  from redplum.com, and $30 worth of gift of savings and zyrtec rewards gift certificates. i stayed up until 3 a.m. (with a little help from the big bass-y party being thrown by my next door neighbors @ the “douche palace”) formulating my plan.

despite my careful planning and complete lack of sleep, i somehow didn’t manage to get my ass to the rite aid until 7:30 p.m.- half an hour before closing. not surprising, they didn’t have half of what i wanted. i do this stupid thing sometimes where instead of walking away, i try to make it work even when i shouldn’t. i got the wrong toothpaste- $2 mistake. i bought one more package of carefree maxi pads than i needed- $1 mistake. random impulse buy bonne bell guava lip balm that i definitely didn’t need even though i had a coupon- $1.25 mistake. $18.62 out of pocket, with hopefully $14 back in SCR and a $35 gift card. passable, but it could have been better. there’s also that outside chance than one or more of the products i bought for the rebate (prilosec, gilette shaving cream, herbal essences) doesn’t actually qualify and i’m screwed from my gift card by a few pennies. (why does it take the SCR website two days to update?!!)

it would probably serve me right.

they’re on to us!

so i’ve been a bit slow with my rite aid & cvs deals this week, probably because neither has much to offer, and i’ll probably just skip out and start over fresh next week. however, i was TRYING to write a post. a very sad post actually, entitled “now i’ll never get my olympic lapel pin!“. i know, tragic. so i was surfing through the 1/24-2/27 single check rebate guide, digging hopelessly for something worthwhile to put in my post, and i came across the “healthy heart 2010 rebate“. basically, buy $25 worth of a bunch of heart healthy crap (soy joy bars! ug!), get a $10 gift card back. nice, but here comes the BIG MONEY: buy $50 worth, get a $25 gift card back. SCORE! and i’m wondering why nobody is really talking about this and how totally amazing it is… and then i see it. THE FINE PRINT. not so fine really.

*Gift Card mailed separately from rebate check. Rebate based on actual price paid (after any & all coupons are used). Sales tax excluded. Cannot be combined with any other offer.

damn! bitches are on to us! all i’m saying is that i desperately hope that this does not become a trend.

stay gold.

i feel as if i’ve been neglecting my duties as a deal seeker lately, so i thought i would make an effort to get my ass to the rite aid an see if i could work a little magic. what i came out with wasn’t exactly miraculous, but hands down the easiest multiple coupon transaction i’ve had in a long long time. not one single beep, not one scrutinized line of fine print, not a single discount put in manually. i’m misting up just thinking about it.

2 pantene @ 2 for $6 with a $3/2 coupon from 3/2 coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver= $1.50 each

1 crest with scope outlast  for $2.99 with a $1.25 SCR & a $1/1 coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver= $.74

1 36 count tampax pearl @ $6.99 with a $2/1 coupon i received with a free sample & $2 SCR= $2.99

1 18 count tampax pearl @ $5.29 with a bogo coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver when you buy a 36 count box= free

i couldn’t find the wet ones anywhere!! somebody must have cleaned them out. instead, i got the scott naturals moist flushable wipes @ 2 for $3 with 2 $.50/1 coupons i printed from smartsource.com= $2. although it looks like there’s a printable $1/1 coupon you can get here, to make it even sweeter.

oh, and i also picked up a couponless pack of trident to fill in the gaps, so i could use the $5/$25 i got from here.

total oop= $8.27, with $3.25 back in SCRs= $5.02. plus, i’m thisclose to qualifying for the $5 “grab the gold” rebate. although we all know that i’m headed for the $35 back on $100. i’t gonna happen.

*8 more “game of life” pieces, and still jack squat. has anyone won anything yet?

going for gold.

i actually completely forgot that the olympics were coming until i saw this week’s rite aid flier. how tuned out am i? i do love me some figure skating though. how can you not love a sport where people fall on their ass a lot? plus hello, johnny weir?! but other than my unnatural love for sequins and career-ruining face plants, i’m not really all that into the olympics (all those lugers look exactly the same in their little unitards!). but rite aid knows how make things a little more appealing. the “grab the gold” promotion started this week, and it’s looking pretty hot:

buy $25 worth of select (although the list seems pretty extensive) proctor & gamble products, get $5, buy $50 get $15, and buy $100 get $35 (on a visa gift card). this totally puts the “gift of savings” program to shame. it’s more money- AND you can spend it anywhere, not just at rite aid. it will probably take me about 2 weeks, but i’m going for the full $100. luckily, there is much to get me started this week:

crest toothpaste is on sale for $2.99 with a $1.25 SCR & a $1/1 coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver= $.74

36-49 count tampax pearl @ $6.99 with a $2 SCR and a $2/1 coupon that i’m pretty sure i got from a free sample last year= $2.99. if i can really work it, i will use the bogo coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver to get a free 18-20 count box to boot.

42 count prilosec OTC @ $24.99 with a $6 SCR and a $3/1 coupon from the 12/27 or 1/17 p&g brandsaver= $15.99

pantene hair care @ 2 for $6 with a $3/2 coupon from the 12/27 p&g brandsaver= $1.50 each

duracell batteries (selected varieties) @ $11.99 with a $3/1 in-ad coupon, $3 SCR, and $1/1 from the 1/17 p&g brandsaver= $4.99

olay skin care is buy one get one 50% off, and i have a bogo hand/body lotion coupon from a marie claire past + a $1/1 coupon. not sure what the total will be, but hopefully not too bad.

there’s also a decent deal on nyquil (which i don’t need), but it looks like you can get it (after SCRs & coupons) for $.99

in addition to all of this olympic sized goodness, there is also a sweet deal on wet ones moist towlettes. they’re on sale for $1.99 each, and if you managed to get those $1.50/1 printables (for taking some kind of cleanliness pledge), you can get them for $.49 each.

mix it up with this new $5/$25 coupon that ‘s on the loose, and make it even better.