today has sucked from start to finish. and by start, i mean at around 1:30 am i threw up my hands in despair because the C3PO mask i had been attempting to make ALL NIGHT was officially and irreparably creepy and awful.
the last ditch puffy paint accents i had applied in delirium made my robot friend look like he had just participated in some elicit activities resulting in a face full of shiny golden robo-semen.
UNACCEPTABLE!
i don’t know why i thought that this task would be simple. C3PO masks are best left to vacuform machines and people with masters degrees in paper mache. i am neither of those. what i am is a person who needs a decent C3PO mask by friday and has run out of options.
this, and the lack of sleep caused by this would color my whole day.
i was cranky and emotional and punctuated my afternoon with occasional bathroom crying jags. sometimes things just go really wrong and you can’t seem to get out from under it.
i decided to drag my carcass around town on my lunch break in hopes that some fresh air might cure what ailed me. but half way across town, i realized that i had forgotten my debit card.
when i’m really bummed out, all i want to do is shop and eat. being unable to do either of those things crushed my spirit a little. it had never really occurred to me how much i placate myself with stuff. with consumption.
i imagined myself eating a big cookie and buying a new dress. i imagined myself feeling better. i didn’t. it was just me and my mood wandering the streets alone.
i still feel crappy. and my allergies are acting up. and one of my eyes is slowly puffing shut… but i’m strongly considering leaving my debit card at home more often. maybe i need to hang out with my sad sometimes- instead of trying to smother it with lattes and new lip gl0ss. maybe i would save some money and learn some new coping skills.
i don’t know.
on a related note, does anyone have a C3PO mask i can borrow for a few days?
broke 207 