time burglar

you might have noticed that i took the weekend off from posting… once again, drowning in burlesque! haven’t slept in days just trying to pull things together for fittings (at my house, all weekend, arg!). anyway, this week i’ve been a lot more focused on my lack of time than my lack of money- although as i roll it around in my brain the two are most definitely linked.

i’m a chronic overscheduler. always trying to pack in friends, and functions, and a 40 hour a week job, and a boyfriend, and a blog… and now this huge costume project. every time i run out of time to do things the way i would like to  (or the cheapest possible way), my solution is always to just make the problem go away by throwing money at it. case and point- instead of making tops for the reed flutes strip number (after the volunteer who was supposed to make them crapped out), i ended up buying them at forever 21. granted $5 a piece is a really good deal, but with my $150 budget busted about $500 ago… this project is eating me alive with no sign of stopping. i’m constantly paying shipping for things online- so i won’t have to waste the time to go out into the world and get them. i’ve been buying lunch and dinner even though my pantry is busting with food so i don’t have to waste the time to make it…

philosophically, i do think i believe that time is more valuable than money (i’d rather have more years than more dollars), but there has to be a balance! i’m killing myself and my budget! help!

p.s. that hamburglar is a creepy bastard. and i don’t trust anybody who hangs out all day with a clown.

weekend pickthrough- thanksgiving yo. (now with extra exclamation points)

drink your tofurkey!

turkey is way overrated.

beeewaaaare of black friday!!!

while everyone else is bludgeoning each other to get to the cheap electronics, i’ll be stuffing my pockets with $2 dvds!!

nothing says holiday spirit like discount star wars toys!

screw black friday- everybody gets records!

could people please stop adding the suffix -palooza to things? i’m sure that’s not what perry farrell had in mind…

get lit. (and then get lit)

aye, the hot pants.

so i’m costuming a holiday burlesque show (apologies if my posts have been a little spotty lately- i’ve been a crazy person), and i’ve been scouring the universe for all sorts of ridiculous things from ruffle butt underpants to plastic candy garland (and all stops in between). anyway, i was out trolling the maine mall area this afternoon, and right by the register in the jc penney women’s department- $.97 rack! double bonus- an extra 20% off all clearance merchandise. long story short- i bought a pair of electric pink hot pants for $.84 after tax. there were a lot of jean shorts on that rack- some t-shirts… nothing amazing, but $.84! bring it on.

also in my travels:

- all clearance merchandise at old navy is an additional 50% off.

- multiple racks of %75 off at target.

- 50-75% off select lingerie at spencers (cheap cheetah leggings anyone?)

karmic balance.

on the heels of my amazing rain-soaked rite aid adventure on saturday, i was flying high this week with what i thought would be an incredible take-down at the rite aid, and an easy extrabuck flip at cvs. apparently, sending that snarky email to the kinkos guy who screwed up my order must have thrown my karmic balance out of whack. or maybe things just can’t always be perfect all the time…

but rite aid was an ultimate clusterfuck. what was supposed to be so simple (coupons in order in a neat stack and ready to rock), turned ugly when my olay coupons (that i had used before at a rite aid in the exact same fashion!) went tits up.

kotex tampons for $2.99 with $2.00 SCR & $1/1 coupon from here. FINE

two 12 packs of quilted northern ultra something or other for $5.99 each with that $5/2 video values coupon, and even though they were for “soft and strong”, these two northern coupons went through JUST FINE.

crest with scope for $2.69 with $1/1 coupon from the 11/1 p&g brandsaver + double dip rebates (118 & 121) for a total of $3.69… FINE.

but then i got greedy. i wanted to use my $5/$25 (from redplum online a week or so ago), and those sweet olay quench coupons (bogo & $3/1) that i got in this month’s marie claire. with olay on buy one get one 50% off… i figured i could get $14ish worth of lotion for a mere $.74.  but it was a mess. first neither of the olay coupons would go through (even though the product was CLEARLY pictured on the coupon). then, they took the bogo one off manually… except he took off the $3.74 50% off one, instead of the full price one. is that some sort of rule that i don’t know about? anyway, then the $3 off coupon wouldn’t go through and they couldn’t even put it in manually… i had been holding up the line for a good 15 minutes. i told the adorable (too cute for rite aid) clerk that i owed him a fruit basket. he told me that i should get fruit baskets for the people in line behind me. *ouch*

in the end, what could have been a very simple and lovely  $8.66 OOP with $5.69 back in SCR, turned into $12.35 OOP instead. after SCRs, do you know how much i spent? EXACTLY $6.66. MY TRANSACTION IS POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL!! i may attempt an exorcism by bringing back the lotion. i’m sure that will be a mess too… i may also try to suck it up and take it as a lesson learned.

to make my deal suckage complete, it turns out that i got the advil deal at CVS wrong this week. in my head, i flip my $6.99 of expiring ECBs by buying one 100 count advil @ $7.49  and getting $4 ECB in return. turns out i had to buy TWO to get the deal. i got some useless CRTs for metamucil and crap (pun intended), no extrabucks, and i just don’t need another 100 advil expiring quietly in my medicine cabinet. boo-urns.

dedication.

so on saturday night around 6 pm, in the midst of a torrential (although unseasonably warm) rain storm, i realized that i had neglected to do my rite aid deals for the week. i was sitting on my couch, checking out my coupons, and feeling like a jerk for passing up all those good deals… when i found myself digging around for my wellies and umbrella.

i got drenched completely, and got there half an hour before closing (double drunks!), but my deals went off without a hitch, and the cashiers weren’t even mad at me for going all coupon lady and shit right at the end of their shift. it was pretty kick ass.

but something i noticed as i performed my wet and frenzied (porn-tastic!) race through the store, was that even on the very last day of the sale- everything i was looking for was still there. not a single item was sold out.

if you’ve ever watched the miss america pageant, you’ll notice that miss maine NEVER makes it to the top ten. we don’t really do beauty pageants in maine. it’s not the new england way. similarly, i don’t think maine is a coupon state. i mean, people use them- but not the crazy deal-mongering that happens in other places. i recently read a post on the most beloved coupon goddess’s website where she was defending her honor from another local couponer who had accused her of “shelf-cleaning”. outrageous! then i read this post at coupons deals and more. the idea of getting up at the crack of dawn to guarantee the deals that i want is unthinkable.  if i don’t get to my weekly deals by thursday, friday, or saturday, 90% of the time they’re still there. apparently, there are no shelf cleaners in portland maine. we may not have kroger, or meijer, or miss america- but we don’t have shelf cleaners, and i will take it.

the beauty of wordpress…

is that i get to see what web searches are conducted that result in people winding up at my blog. thank you whoever out there in cyberland searched for “yanking tights up”, you made my day. i know, i’m a weirdo.

it’s happening…

there was a WALGREENS FLYER in my sunday paper! apparently windham, bath, & norway all have functional walgreens in their neighborhoods, but i’ve never actually been in one. they’ve been building one on forest ave. for months now- and it looks like it’s almost done! people who coupon seem to love it, but i have to say that i’m a little scared.  the flier looked to have some pretty excellent deals in it, and from what i can tell, the register rewards system works pretty much like the CVS extrabuck system… although i’ve heard rumors that it isn’t as consistent (rewards don’t always print out like they’re supposed to). should i be afraid? should i be excited? should i make my hot and dirty affair with rite aid exclusive and tell everyone else to go screw? the drama!

i’m copycat famous!

perhaps you remember this post (or perhaps not), where i submitted a cake i found on vacation in jonesport to cakewrecks, and it actually turned up on the site? well… perusing this afternoon, and someone in atlanta (they’re on the cakewrecks book tour) copied my cake in the wreckplica contest! this is so totally kick ass.  AND a direct quote from the comments section “And I’m glad someone took a second look at that lobster– one of my all-time favorite wrecks!” i glow.

wasteland.

i’m sure you’re not tired of this yet or anything, but cvs has a big nothing this week yet again. and of course, i have $6.99 in ECBs expiring on the 17th. fuck.

there actually is one decent deal on advil- which is something that i use regularly (generic ibuprofen tastes like bad fake banana candy), and will definitely be buying. 100 ct. for $7.49 with $4 in ECBs. i also hear tell from my boyfriend hot coupon world, that there will be a $2/1 coupon in tomorrow’s paper. that’s a very minimal $1.49 at the end of the day.

also, the 24 oz. whitman’s sampler is on bogo- for $19.99 with $5 back in ECBs. i’m trying hard not to be fat right now, so i probably won’t get this- but that doesn’t make it any less of a good deal. i’m thinking whitman’s sampler challenge?

maine doesn’t get revlon coupons for some insane reason, but if you can lay your hands on some, and you’re the makeup type… the $7 ECB when you buy $15 isn’t such a bad deal.

but seriously, that’s all i got. if you want to see someone examine every single deal from the cold sore meds down to the dreaded snuggie, you can go here, here or even here… but you probably don’t need to waste your time.

suckbucks update.

so a while ago i decided to try out the whole swagbucks thing, and it turned out that it was kind of stupid. well, i’ve continued to play with it over the last few weeks, and it’s still stupid- but i want one of these, so i’m randomly stabbing at it every now and again to see what happens.  and i do mean random. my game is that once or twice a day, i will go to swagbucks and quickly search for 10-15 topics that pop into my head. so far, i’ve won bucks for:

giraffe underpants

purple petticoat

colonoscopy need

and the mother of all randomness- CANTALOUPE NIGHTMARE got me $2 swagbucks today.

on a related side note, if you go to twitter once or twice a day and search for “swag code”, you’ll usually find one. if i get 1 swag buck for random searches, and 1 from twitter codes, i’ll have my $50 gift card in slightly less than one year. um….

$561 bucks to go.