worth the trip- useless product bonanza.

the entire back page of the rite aid flier this week is stuffed full of single check rebate freebies, none of which i actually want. my chapstick peanut (yes, i have a peanut shaped jar on my coffee table filled with chapstick) is overflowing, and fuck if i know what a nasa-dock is. i’m ripping off the offending back page, and tossing aside like a cheap whore. in my mind the only things worth pursuing are:

1. better than free gain dish detergent. $.89 with a $1/1 coupon in last weekend’s paper. $.11 in pocket, no waiting for rebates, no +anythings.

2. because my udders are always getting chapped in the winter time, i might pick up the udderly smooth lotion for $1- free after $1 +UP.

3. according to iheartriteaid.com there is a $2/1 coupon floating around for playtex tampons. combined with a $2/2 video values coupon, and a $2 +UP reward… blah blah blah… free. except that i can’t find the coupon. what i can find are 2 $1.50/1 coupon that will work almost as well. $1 for 2 boxes of tampons= not too shabby.

4. on my quest for free makeup, i’m also going to check up on the 40% off maybelline. apparently there’s a $2/1 on the video values site (along with a coupon for something called “fast results herpes” that i chose not to click on), as well as some $3/2 coupons that i grabbed off a tearpad at the ulta last week that might add up to freeness… or at least super cheapness (which is also acceptable).

cvs is ultrabunk this week in a way that is almost hilarious (except for the part where it’s tragic). sure, there’s some free toothpaste, but i’m gonna pass on the blood sugar monitors and crap soda. really, the only notable thing at cvs right now is something so outrageously awful, that i can’t even believe that it exists. ladies & gentlemen, i present to you the icraig tower stereo system. now, i don’t know dick about stereo equipment, but i’m pretty sure this is a flaming piece of $99 shit (despite being advertised as a “red hot deal”.

shaws was marginally better with some good deals on things that i like.

1. green giant boxed veggies. i like to keep these in the freezer for when i feel like i’m dying, but i haven’t been to the grocery store in 3 weeks. sort of “in case of emergency break glass” vegetables. $1 each with a $1/3 coupon from like 4 newspapers, they’re only $.66 each. although the real winner is the $.60/3 coupon at smartsource right now. doubled to $1.20, the veggies are a mere $.60 each. a $.50/1 printable doubled= FREE. thanks for the tip anastasiav! i can’t believe i paid $.60! what an ass!

2. i actually missed out on the cheap ass dragone ricotta cheese this week thanks to some local shelf cleaners (it was gone by saturday morning!), but perhaps they’ve restocked by now. on sale for BOGO, with $.55/1 printables from coupons.com, i’m guessing you can grab yours for around a dollar. ricotta freezes really well, so stock up!

3. fage yogurt is on sale for $1.29. shit is generally like $1.89 or more (for a single yogurt!), which is ludicrous, but it’s the only yogurt that i like. also, you can grab a $.50/1 from their website (one print per computer- boo!) and double that to get at least one of your yogurts for $.29.

4. what is it about the back pages this week? BUNK SHAW’S– BUNK!. apparently if you buy 5 of the kraft or shaws products on the back page, you get a $5 catalina for your next shopping trip. it could be a good deal, except that i don’t actually want any of this bullshit. 5 jars of shitty peanut butter for $3.85 is probably your best deal, although you can also get 5 boxes of capri sun for $5. the only thing i would actually want is the kraft shredded cheese, ($1.40 a bag if you buy 5  at $2.50/each and use those $1/2 from the 9/26 smartsource) and i don’t have any room in my fridge after the $2 sargento bonanza a couple weeks ago.

target is a minefield of halloween candy and baby crap this week. decent deal on $2 fiber one bars, and this sweet ass submarine shaped shower caddy… but really nothing. NOTHING!

some final bits and pieces… hot bonus coupon for 40% off your entire purchase of paints, pastels, pencils and markers at michael’s in addition to their regular 40% off any one item coupon. $10 t-shirts until the 14th at threadless, 20% off any one item at ulta, and my boyfriend informs me that $59.99 for a 1 TB external hard drive at staples is a hot deal (is it? i’ll never know).

overall, it’s a whole lotta nothing this week. i may just skip this bitch all together.

disappearing act.

it’s not that i don’t love you , it’s just that i’m horribly horribly sick. since monday, i’ve been spending all my free time (that i should have been spending writing this blog including and especially the new “worth the trip” feature that i attempted to start last week) oozing mucous from my various orifices. oh, and drooling. my head is so congested right now that i can hear my own heartbeat in my right ear. i don’t know how it works, i just know that it’s gross and i feel like dying. anyway, i’m sorry. i hope to be semi-functional enough to write something tomorrow, but i make no promises. although if you’re really lucky, i’ll write something in a feverish delirium that will confuse and delight! or maybe i just lapse into a whisky and dayquil coma and you won’t hear from me for a couple of days. either way, i haven’t forgotten about you or this blog. i promise!

to entertain you while you’re waiting for me to break out of my snot cocoon, i have some exciting news for everyone! remember that time i had that ridiculous sandwich party? do you also remember how i vowed never to have another house party again? well, as it turns out, i’m a bit fat liar. sort of. i may never have a regular house part again, but come october 9th, i’ll be having a sexy 18+ house party! apparently durex is going to send me a big fat box of condoms and lube (and a vibrator for the hostess!), and we’re all going to get blitzed and watch a very serious video about BECOMING ORGASMIC. that’s all i know for now (do you really need to know more?), but details to come.